


Love is a Rebellious Bird

by PinkGerberDaisies



Series: Love is a Rebellious Bird [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Historical AU, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Turn of the Century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 22:24:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 70,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14364963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGerberDaisies/pseuds/PinkGerberDaisies
Summary: In 1889 a fire leaves 9 year old Scott an orphan. Sent to work as a stable boy for the wealthy Virtue family at Ilderton Manor, he quickly develops a close friendship with their only daughter, Tessa. But as they grow older their friendship starts to become something more...Otherwise known as the historical AU that nobody wanted, but that I can't get out of my head.





	1. Preface

**Preface**

 

This is my first foray into the world of fanfiction as anything other than a reader, so please forgive any mistakes. This work is unbeta'd and purely a product of my overactive imagination and some inspiring ice dance routines. 

As you can imagine, I'm pretty nervous sharing my writing for the first time in a public forum - so if you choose to read this, then I thank you. :) I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed dreaming it.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1: Tears on my Pillow

** Chapter 1: Tears on my Pillow **

****

The scent of smoke still hung thick in the air even though the fire had been put out hours ago. A few people were rummaging through what remained of the house, looking for anything that might have survived. The two bodies that had been found inside had been taken away by police officers.

Across town a dark-haired nine year old boy sat on a cold bench inside the police station where his parent’s bodies had been taken.

“Scott,” One of the officers knelt down in front of him, “Are you alright?” His smile was not unkind, despite his gruff exterior, and Scott attempted to hide his tears as he nodded.

“Can you tell me why you weren’t in the house?”

“I snuck out. Some of the older boys from school were going poaching.” A tear slipped down his cheek. He’d known his parents wouldn’t approve – poaching was illegal after all – but he’d wanted so badly to join the other boys. They had made it sound so much fun. Now, it seemed, God was punishing him for his choice. His parents were dead and it was his fault.

The police officer stood and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. “Do you have any other family who could take you in?”

Scott shook his head. His father had been an only child and he had never met his mother’s family, who all lived out west.

“We’ll find somewhere for you to sleep tonight, then take you to the orphanage in the morning I suppose.”

He was led to a cot in the corner to rest for the night, and when he was left alone Scott finally let himself cry.

 

On the outskirts of town stood Ilderton Manor. Inside, the master of the house, Mr. James Virtue, was sitting down to dinner with his family when his butler brought him news of what had happened. Mr. Moir had been working as a gardener on the estate for many years and Mr. Virtue had considered him something of a friend.

“How dreadful!” His wife, Kate, exclaimed as he shared the news. “Was the whole family killed?”

“The son survived, apparently. He wasn’t home at the time.”

“What will happen to him if he has no parents?” Their daughter, Tessa, asked. She had been listening to her parents with rapt attention. As an only child living so far removed from the rest of the town, and other children, she'd had limited experience with tragedy or drama.

“Well, I don’t think there’s any other family to take him in.” James leaned back in his chair, his brow furrowed. “Kate, what if we took him in here?”

“You mean adopt him?” Her eyebrows shot up.

“Not exactly, but we could use a stable boy, and I’m sure Mr. Lauzon and his wife would be willing to care for him.”

“Oh, please do!” Tessa was nearly bursting out of her seat, unconscious of the hesitant look on her mother’s face. “He could be my friend!”

Her mother’s eyes softened as she took in her daughter’s bright green eyes and eager face. She knew how starved for friendship Tessa was, and her heart went out to this young boy who must feel so lost and alone right now.

“I think it’s a good idea, James, if the Lauzons are willing.” Smiling warmly at his wife, Thomas went without delay to speak to the stable master.

Tessa felt giddy for the rest of the night. Finally, someone to play with – a real friend. She stared out of her window for a long time, praying that this boy would come to live at Ilderton and would like her.

 

If Scott had thought yesterday was a nightmare, the illusion quickly dissipated as the smell of smoke woke him up. He was still the same clothes, torn and dirtied in the attempt to find his parents among the blackened wood and brick of his home. He could hear voices, but chose to keep his eyes closed – holding the day at bay for as long as possible.

“I feel some responsibility for the boy. Mr. Moir was a good man and a friend.” A man Scott vaguely recognized as Mr. Virtue was speaking to the police officer from last night.  

“Are you sure about this, Mr. Virtue? It’s mighty kind of you.”

“Yes, Mrs. Virtue and I discussed it last night. I’ll bring him up to the house and he can work in the stables. Mr. Lauzon is an excellent stable master – the best I’ve ever had - and he and his wife are willing to take Scott under their care.”

That caught Scott’s attention. Unless his brain was being particularly thick this morning, he was going to be moving to Ilderton Manor.

The two men turned to him then, and Mr. Virtue extended his hand. “Ah, Scott. I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Scott returned the man’s handshake uncertainly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Mr. Virtue has offered to take you in, Scott.” The officer gave him a look that clearly said he should be showing some gratitude.

“I heard, sir. Thank you.” Scott didn’t think he sounded very genuine, but it was the best he could do. He was grateful when Mr. Virtue only smiled kindly.

“You’ll be working as a stable boy and apprentice to Mr. Patrice Lauzon. He’s a fine man and horse master, I’m sure you’ll learn to be happy there.”

“I’ll try to, sir.”

 

The carriage out front was of the highest quality and Scott was almost afraid to get inside for fear of ruining it somehow, conscious of his still sooty clothes.

“Nevermind, Scott. It’s all been taken care of. We sent someone to buy some new things for you, and carriages can be cleaned.”

Feeling reassured, Scott climbed in and sat down. The ride up the hill to Ilderton Manor was a quiet one, made bearable by the beautiful scenery. The large trees that lined the drive up to the house were famous for miles around and said to be hundreds of years old. In the morning sunshine the leaves were practically shimmering.

When they reached the great stone house, Scott nearly gasped. It had been so long since he had ventured farther than the orchards at the base of the property, he had almost forgotten the size of the Virtue’s home.

It was a magnificent sandy-grey stone house with a large stone courtyard and expansive gardens, sitting atop a hill with views over the city. There were plenty of windows, and somehow despite its size, the whole appearance was very welcoming.

The carriage came to a stop inside the courtyard and Mr. Virtue helped Scott down before leading him inside the house. “Welcome to Ilderton Manor, Scott. Let me introduce you to my family.”

He lead Scott down the hallway and into a large sitting room. There, sitting upright and looking like a queen, sat Mrs. Virtue. Her face was not unkind, but a little stern, her nut brown hair piled gracefully on top of her head.

“Again, Tessa.” She said, addressing the girl seated at the piano in the corner.

“Yes, mother.” The girl replied morosely, moving her hands into the starting position for Beethoven’s _Moonlight Sonata_. Before she could start, Mr. Virtue interrupted, “My dear, I’ve brought Scott Moir to meet you.” He gestured to Scott, who stepped forward, pretending to be more confident than he felt.

Mrs. Virtue turned and smiled at him, and the effect it had on her features was significant – it softened her whole look and made her seem more motherly.

            “It’s nice to meet you, Scott. I’m terribly sorry about your parents. It's such a tragedy.” Mrs. Virtue said. “Tessa, come meet our new neighbor.”

            The girl stood from the piano and turned to him with a bright smile and Scott felt suddenly as if the air had left the room. He’d seen girls before, of course he had. Played with them and studied with them at school, but Tessa was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. She curtsied at him with a playful grin. “Pleased to meet you.” Scott smiled back, his first genuine smile in what felt like ages.

            “It’s nice to meet you too.” He replied shyly.

            “We want you to feel at home here.” Mr. Virtue said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“And it will be wonderful for Tessa to have a friend to play with.” Mrs. Virtue added on before ringing for tea and sandwiches to be brought in.

 

Scott at silently, listening mostly to the small talk between the adults and sneaking glances at Tessa, always blushing when she grinned back at him.

“Can I show Scott the stables?” Tessa burst out, cutting off her parents mid-sentence.

“Tessa, it’s rude to interrupt.” Her mother reprimanded, but she didn’t seem too apologetic.

“Please!” She begged, and with her big green eyes looking up like that, Scott understood that Tessa must get her way pretty often in this house.

“Alright, go ahead.” Her mother conceded, and Tessa was quick to jump up. Grabbing Scott’s hand she led him quickly outside and to the stables.

 

Mr. Virtue, a banker by trade, had a passion for horseback riding and breeding. He was incredibly proud of his stables and the horses he kept there. They were under the care of stable master Patrice Lauzon, who was known for miles around as one of the best horse masters there was.

Tessa launched immediately into a tour the moment they entered, without giving Scott’s eyes a chance to adjust to the dimmer lighting. Once they did, he saw that there were spots for twenty horses, ten on each side of a long row, and that the feed and tack were kept on the far end by a large barn door.

“Out there is where the round pen and pastures are. Most of the horses are out there now while the weather is good.” She led him over to a stall with a pretty chestnut horse.

“This one is mine, her name is Tulip.” The horse seemed awfully big for a seven year old girl, Scott thought, but Tessa seemed completely at ease. “Your room is upstairs.” She pointed to the staircase in the far corner.

Just then a tall, dark-haired man walked into the barn. “Good morning, Tessa, I see you brought company. This must be my new stable boy.”

Wanting to make a good impression, Scott walked over and held out his hand, “I’m Scott Moir.”

            “Indeed.” Mr. Lauzon returned the handshake, “Tell me, Scott, do you like horses?”

            “I don’t know yet, sir.”

            Mr. Lauzon laughed, “Honesty. Good. I shall teach you to like them, Scott, and give them the care and respect they deserve – and not spoil them like Miss Tessa does.” He threw the girl a wink and she smiled back, all dimples.

            “You can call me Patch, everyone else does.” Scott agreed and was surprised to find his nervousness dissipating. Maybe he would like it here after-all.

            “Tessa, I think you’d best run back up to the house now. You know your mother will be wanting to start your lessons.”

            With a groan Tessa said goodbye and promised to come back later. Scott watched her go before turning back to Patch, who patted him on the shoulder. 

“Now, why don't you go upstairs and get cleaned up, and then we'll put you to work." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting is a bitch on this website. Bear with me while I try to get the hang of it.


	3. Chapter 2: Call Me Irresponsible

** Chapter 2: Call Me Irresponsible **

****

            Time begin to move quickly for Scott as he adjusted to life at Ilderton. He was pleased to discover that he did indeed like horses, and Patch was turning out to be a good friend and mentor. His heart still ached when he thought of his parents and he had cried himself to sleep more than once, but he had enough distractions during the day that life was becoming bearable.

            One of the biggest distractions was the rambunctious girl who kept showing up at the barn. Tessa, it seemed, had a knack for getting out of her lessons whenever she could. She helped Scott with his chores, especially brushing the horses (and slipping them treats), and when he was done for the day she dragged him around the property on various adventures. So far she had pointed out the best gum trees, where she had found a bird's nest last spring, and which part of Ilderton's woods was most certainly haunted. 

            As September became October the air cooled and the trees were changing into golden hues of yellow, orange, and red.

            “This is my favorite time of year.” Tessa said as they laid on the grass one lazy afternoon finding shapes in the clouds above. “I’m always sad when it ends. But then Christmas comes and winter becomes my favorite.”

            Scott laughed. “I love winter. Ice skating is my favorite.”

            “I’ve never skated! You’ll have to teach me. Promise you will.” She stuck her hand in his face, “Pinky promise.”

            Knowing by now that trying to deny Tessa anything was useless, Scott linked his finger through hers, “I promise.”

            “Good.” Tessa grinned, she’d lost a tooth in the last week, but it only made her smile more endearing. “Now follow me.” She hopped up and took off on a run, leaving Scott to scramble up after her.

            She came to a stop not far away under a giant oak tree. “What are you doing?” He asked, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

            “I’ve always wanted to climb this tree, and now you can help me do it. Give me a boost, please.”

            Slightly dumbfounded, Scott did as she asked – linking his hands together so she could fit her boot into them. Tessa didn’t waste a second. Once she was up she kept on climbing like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Aren’t you coming?” She called down to him, and Scott had a feeling he’d follow her wherever she asked.

            He jumped up to the lowest branch - wrapping his arms around it - and, after a few mishaps, managed to swing himself up. When he reached Tessa he found her staring out over the valley. From the top of the tree they could see all the way across town.

            “This is amazing.” Tessa breathed, her green eyes like saucers as she took it all in. Scott couldn’t help but agree. “Papa told me you can see all of Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower. They finished building it this year and Papa climbed to the top when he was there visiting my aunt. But I doubt the view could be as beautiful as this.”

            "Have you ever been to Paris?" 

            "Not yet, but papa promised he would take me someday when I'm older. You'll have to come too - we'll climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower and see how it compares." 

            "Doesn't it have an elevator?" The prospect of climbing a giant tower didn't seem too appealing to him, but Tessa looked as if he'd said something horrendous, like a curse word.

            "That's cheating, Scott." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We have to climb the stairs to fully appreciate it." 

             With a chuckle, Scott acquiesced, "Whatever you say, Tess. You're the boss."         

 

* * *

   

            The first snow came down hard at the end of October. The thick flakes accumulated quickly – creating a winter wonderland. The way it sat on the tree branches and shone in the sun was beautiful. The few birds that had stuck around chirped away happily, as if oblivious to the fact that they were supposed to be heading south. 

            Scott was out in the pasture checking that all of the horses’ blankets were secured correctly when he felt something hard and cold hit him in the side of the head, bursting into wet flakes and leaving him stunned. Angry, he spun around quickly – only to find Tessa laughing at him from the barn door.

            “Bullseye!” She yelled at him, still laughing. A few of the other grooms were laughing now too from where they were working. Scott's anger disappeared as quickly as it had came.

            “I’ll get you for that, Tess!” He shot off like an arrow chasing after her, and Tessa screamed as she tried to escape. It didn’t take long before he had caught up to her, scooping up some snow and throwing it – hitting her squarely in the back.

            By the end of the battle they were both soaked through to the bone and laughing hysterically. “I think it’s a draw.” Tessa smirked.

            “Oh no, I definitely won.” Scott teased, laughing when she shoved him in response.

            “Tessa!” A shrill voice called out. 

            “Uh oh.” Tessa muttered, turning to watch her mother march across the yard towards them.

            “Come inside at once and change out of those clothes. You’ll catch pneumonia out here!”

            Scott watched as she sullenly followed after her mother, “See ya later, kiddo!” He called out, chuckling when she turned and stuck out her tongue at him.

            When he got back to the barn Patch was there grinning at him, “It was a noble defeat.”

            “Defeat? I definitely won.” Scott protested as he started climbing the stairs to his room to change into dry clothes.

            “No… I think Tessa definitely won.” He gave Scott a knowing look that only confused him before continuing work on the horseshoe he was holding.

 

* * *

 

            Scott spent Christmas with the Lauzons. It was a small affair, tinged with the longing he felt to have his parents back, but they did their best to make it cheery for him. He got a few gifts – useful things like new gloves, and a hat Mrs. Lauzon knitted for him – and Tessa had given him a copy of _Black Beauty_ that he was excited to read. They had roast turkey for dinner and it felt like a veritable feast compared to what he had been used to. All things considered it was a pretty good holiday.

            If Christmas had been a quiet affair, Boxing Day was entirely different. It was still early dawn when a pebble hit Scott’s window. He jerked awake, wondering if he had only dreamt it, but then another pebble hit, then another. He scrambled out of bed and lurched toward the window, throwing it open.

            “Christmas presents for us from my parents.” Tessa stood down below, holding up two pairs of ice skates in her hand. “Will you teach me how to skate now?”

            “Are you serious, T? It’s barely morning!”

            “Please, Scott! You promised!”

            With a groan he nodded, “I need to get dressed. I’ll be down in a second.” The smile she gave him then almost made it worth it.

            Scott hurried to dress, putting on two pairs of his thickest socks and his boots. The second he was outside Tessa grabbed his hand, “Run!”

            He followed after her the whole way, racing across the snow covered fields and under the frosty trees. The morning sun becoming brighter and made everything sparkle.

When they reached the pond they found a good sturdy log to sit on and Scott showed her how to properly lace up her skates. Taking her by the hands, he slowly helped her onto the ice.

           

            She slipped and fell down almost immediately.

           

            “I can’t do this.” She looked so defeated sitting there in a heap that Scott ignored his first instinct to laugh and took pity on her.

            “Of course you can. Everyone falls – the secret is getting back up again. I’ll be here to help you every step of the way.” He held out his hands and helped her stand back up.

            She hesitated, still wobbling, “Alright…,” she said, after her legs stopped shaking so much, “I trust you.”

            It was incredibly slow-going at first. Tessa was very shaky and Scott struggled to hide how difficult it was for him to keep his balance and keep her upright as well, especially when her hands would grip his in a tight vice when she slipped, but after a few times around she started going more smoothly.

            “Hey… maybe I CAN do this.”

            “See? I told you.”

            They went around and around until Tessa felt comfortable skating by herself – until the sun was high above them and their stomachs were grumbling loudly.

            “I didn’t realize how long we’d been here. I guess we’d better head back.” Tessa skated over to where they had left their boots.

            Scott sat down on the log next to her and nudged her with his shoulder, “You did good today, kiddo.”

            She nudged his shoulder back, “I had a good partner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an added FYI: Scott's parents died at the beginning of September 1889, just after his ninth birthday.


	4. Chapter 3: Adios Nonino

**Chapter 3: Adios Nonino**

 

    The past year at Ilderton had been beyond Scott’s wildest dreams. Patch told him he had never seen a child who was so good with horses. 

     He enjoyed the labor that his chores required and he was growing used to living alone in the apartment over the stables. The one room had a small kitchen area, table, desk, armoire, and a large bed. Tessa had been steadily supplying him with books that she wanted him to read, creating a nice little pile by his bed. 

     He ate his lunches with the other grooms, who were all adults but treated him with kindness. Dinners were always at Patch and Marie’s house. 

     Recently, though, Marie had started teaching him how to cook. “There is nothing more important that I could teach you. We’ll start with how to boil an egg and go from there.”

     Sometimes Tessa would join in on the cooking lessons, which inevitably ended in disaster. 

     “I’m not sure how you ended up with eggs that are both burnt and runny at the same time, dear, but I think it’s a scientific marvel.”

 

     For his tenth birthday the Virtues took him sailing on Lake Ontario. It was a magnificent full-day excursion. For all his stiff, businessmanlike demeanor, Mr. Virtue was surprisingly loose and fun out on the lake. Even Mrs. Virtue seemed more carefree. 

     Tessa could hardly stand to be contained by the boat - and her huge, thunderous laugh burst free every time they hit a large wave. 

     “Tessa get down!” Her mother chastised as she climbed up onto the bow of the ship.

     “I can’t. I’m a bird - I must fly!” She spread her arms wide. Fearless. 

 

     It came as a surprise, then, when the anniversary of his parents’ death arrived. The morning of September 9th Scott awoke like any other - content to lie in bed for a moment longer before dressing for work. 

     He trekked downstairs after having some toast and began filling the feed buckets when Patch walked in. 

     “Scott!” 

     Scott glanced up at him, wondering why Patch was looking at him like that. 

     “Good morning.”

     “I’m surprised you’re working today. You know, it would be alright if you wanted to take the day off.”

     “Why would I do that?” Scott was genuinely confused. Did Patch know how late he’d stayed up rereading  _Black Beauty_?

     Pity filled Patch’s eyes, “It’s the anniversary today.”

     Scott felt like he’d been hit with the sledgehammer. How could he have forgotten?! Not wanting to appear like a bad son, he played it off. 

     “I know. I’ll go visit the cemetery later.” He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to appear as if everything was fine. 

     He spent most of the morning focusing single-mindedly on his chores - terrified that if he let himself think he would drown under the weight of his sorrow and guilt. 

     Finally at lunchtime he could put it off no longer. He asked Patch for permission to leave, and then started down the lane.

     He only made it a few steps before stopping. The fear of going alone was overwhelming. It took only a moment for his mind to be made up - spinning around he quickly ran up to the big house and rang the doorbell. 

     The footman let him inside and a maid went to fetch Tessa, who was working on her sums and more than happy to leave them behind. 

     “Tell mama we’ll be back later.” She said over her shoulder to the maid. 

    “Miss Tessa, I don’t think...”

     “It will be fine, Susan.”

     Scott didn’t think it would, but he left with Tessa anyway. 

 

     They reached the cemetery by late afternoon having walked most of the way in companionable silence. The way the sun cast a glow on everything made the old cemetery look friendly and inviting - a sharp contrast to Scott’s internal anguish. 

     Sensing his discomfort, Tessa said, “Scott, I can leave if...”

     But he cut her off by reaching out and holding tight to her hand. 

     He clung to her as they neared his parents’ headstone. Not even letting go when she bent over to place the flowers that she had brought. 

     “Did they ever find out what caused the fire?” She asked after a quiet moment. 

     “The police did an inquiry. They told me they think it was a candle left burning in the window - I guess somehow the curtain caught fire.” He swallowed loudly, his eyes filling with tears. “They probably left it lit for me.”

     He couldn’t hold back the tears that began to fall. 

     Tessa looked up at him, but he couldn’t bare to return her gaze. “It wasn’t your fault, Scott.” She squeezed his hand, attempting to comfort him. 

     “Yes it was. If I hadn’t snuck out that night they wouldn’t have left the light burning for me.” 

     “You don’t know what would have happened. It was an accident. An awful, horrible, accident.”

     He turned his face away from her and tried to pull his hand free. She only held on tighter. When he still fought her comfort, she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. 

     He stood stiff - resistant - but that only made her hold on more. 

     “It wasn’t your fault.” She insisted, emphasizing each word. 

     The dam that Scott had been carefully building for the past year burst, and he sank into her arms with a sob. 

 

     How long they stood there, neither of them knew, but by the time they returned home it was well past dark. 

     “Will you get in trouble?” Scott’s voice was still scratchy from crying. 

     “It doesn’t matter.” Tessa replied, momentarily tightening her grip on his hand - which he hadn’t been able to let go of the whole walk home. “Will you be alright?”

     “Yeah.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile. “Thank you, Tessa.” He said seriously. 

     “Of course, Scott. You’re my partner, after all.” She grinned, trying to make him feel better. It worked - he returned her smile with a small one of his own. 

     “I have to go now,” she turned towards the door, “See you tomorrow?”

     He nodded and she let go of his hand and slipped inside. He felt the loss acutely. He wanted to keep holding her hand for as long as possible. 


	5. Chapter 4: Puttin’ on the Ritz

**Chapter 4: Puttin’ on the Ritz**

 

    Each December the Virtues threw a grand winter ball. They spared no expense, and Mrs. Virtue took great pride in ensuring that every detail was perfect. 

     Every inch of the house was cleaned before being lavishly decorated. Wreaths, holly, lights, and of course - a large Christmas tree. She meticulously prepared the menu and invitations, going over all the details herself. The process took weeks of planning and work. 

     Tessa had always loved the building anticipation in the days leading up to the party. At nine years old she was still too young to attend, but the way the whole house became a winter wonderland was marvelous to her. The decorations, the tree, the snow covering the ground outside, and the delicious smells wafting up from the kitchens - where the cook was experimenting to find the perfect Christmas dessert - were essential to her idea of what Christmas was supposed to be.

     The day of the party was a flurry of activity and last minute preparations. The excitement hung heavy in the air. As the sun began to set the first carriages started pulling up one by one to the manor, greeted by the lanterns lining the path up to the house. The people who stepped out looked like characters from a novel. Everyone was dressed up in their finest clothes, looking almost like a regal procession.

     Scott and Tessa had developed an annual tradition of watching everyone arrive from the window above the courtyard. “They all look so splendid.” Tessa sighed longingly. “I can’t wait until I’m old enough to go.”

      Scott hummed noncommittedly. Frankly, all he could think was that the suits the men were wearing looked stiff and uncomfortable. He enjoyed watching how excited Tessa got every year - her joy was infectious - but it didn’t hold quite the same thrill for him.

     “I think I’m happier now in my shirt and trousers than them. I doubt they could run or ride a horse in that.”

     “No one goes horseback riding in suit, silly.” Scott was pleased to hear Tessa joking instead of sounding glum. “They’re for dancing.”

     They turned back to the sight below and Tessa rested her head on her arms with another sigh - watching as light flakes began to fall from the sky. 

     “Don’t worry, kiddo. Someday you’ll be down there with them.” Scott tried to reassure her with a smile.

     “But what if nobody asks me to dance?” Tessa looked up at him with those big green eyes and Scott found himself saying, “I’ll ask you. I’ll dance with you all night long.”

     Tessa grinned at him, “You forget, neither of us knows how to dance. We’d look ridiculous.”

     Smiling back at her Scott said, “And probably be having more fun than anyone else there.”

     “Will you wear a suit?” She teased.

     “If I have to. But absolutely no hat!” Scott vehemently stated, teasing her back.

     “Of course not. How could you cover up all that great hair?” Tessa patted him on the head, where Scott was certain his hair was in disarray. He found himself blushing – something he had been trying to do less around Tessa, with limited success.

     Laughing at him, Tessa stood and reached out for his hand, “Everyone’s here now and probably sitting down to dinner. Let’s go. I want keep reading _Treasure Island._ ”

     Scott took her hand and followed her down the hallway to her father’s library. Tessa liked when he read to her because he did all the different voices. They had started the tale of “buccaneers and buried gold” a week ago and Scott was grateful to get back to it. 

     Feeling guilty though, he had to ask, “Are you sure you don’t want to try to sneak downstairs and watch the dancing?”

     She turned back to him from where she was grabbing the book from the shelf. “Nah, now that I have your promise to wear a suit and come to the ball one day I’m content to wait.” She winked and he groaned.

     “You’re going to hold me to that, aren’t you?”

     “Of course!” She lead him over to the couch and dropped the book in his lap, “Now, let’s continue on the hunt for Captain Flint’s treasure.”

 

     He read to her until they both fell asleep, slumped together on the couch. A while later, Scott was shook awake by Mrs. Virtue.

     “Scott.” She whispered gently. 

     He struggled to open his eyes, barely managing a “hmmm?”

     “I think you’d better head back home.” 

     He jolted awake, remembering suddenly where he was, and carefully managed to extricate himself from Tessa.

     “Sorry, Mrs. Virtue.”

     “That’s quite alright. Goodnight, dear.” She smiled kindly at him, and he left for the warmth of his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short one this time. As they get older the chapters will get longer. :)


	6. Chapter 5: Beautiful Maria

**Chapter 5: Beautiful Maria**

 

           "Tessa, dear, I think it's time for you to learn to ride side-saddle." Tessa just about choked on the English muffin she was currently eating for breakfast. Her mother often liked to make comments like this, usually taking Tessa by complete surprise. "It's not ladylike to ride astride, and you're growing older." Her mother continued sipping her tea as if she hadn't just shaken her daughter's world.

           "But... I've always ridden astride. It's so much easier." Tessa tried to control her voice so that she didn't sound argumentative. She knew the instant her mother thought she was being stubborn, the conversation would end. 

           "Yes, but someday soon - sooner than it seems - you will be a young lady and it will no longer be appropriate. It's best to start now, when you're still young." 

           "I don't understand why it's not appropriate. Scott rides astride." Tessa was feeling petulant now. The older she got the more people pointed out the differences between her and Scott, and she didn't like it. Why should he get to behave differently, just because he was a boy? 

           "Honey, Scott is a young man. You know it's different." Tessa slumped in her seat and went back to eating, although now she was merely picking at her food. 

 

           After breakfast finished Tessa asked to be dismissed to go for a morning walk, working hard to keep her face expressionless. She was learning, slowly, to keep her emotions hidden. She left the house by the shortest route possible, and ended up close to the river at the bottom of the hill. She walked with measured steps until she reached the broad shade of a tree.

           She knelt at the water's edge and thrust her hands into the cold water, splashing it onto her burning cheeks. The anger would not leave her; the water would not cool the burning of it. And it would not wash away the indignity of being forced to act prim and proper when Scott and the other boys got to be wild and free to do whatever they wanted. Tessa could see the future her mother wanted for her - the polite wife of some businessman, perhaps a banker that worked for father - and her stomach heaved at the thought. 

          Tessa had always been observant and a quick learner. At ten years old she had seen her parent's behavior and heard the way they talked about her. Her future had already been decided. She splashed the water in frustration, wishing she could sail away like Jim Hawkins - looking for pirate treasure and having adventures. Scott would be there too, of course, her partner in crime. They could be notorious and do whatever they wanted - follow any dream. That was what she wanted for herself... perhaps with less violence and mutiny. 

          She sat back on her heels, pulling her dripping hands out of the water, and stared at the reflection of sunlight on the water as despair threatened to overwhelm her. She was also a little angry at herself, if she was being honest. She wanted to make her parents happy - it would be so much easier if she was the proper daughter that they wanted her to be. Of course, there were many aspects of her life that she loved, she just wished that she could freely climb trees and ride astride and all the other things she enjoyed without being told that she wasn't a lady. Why couldn't a lady be both? Take tea in the parlor and play the piano AND climb trees and pretend to be a pirate? 

          A sound broke her reverie - harsh and grating. It was a group of boys from the village, standing upstream from her, yelling and laughing and fighting over something. Then, as she watched, one of them swung something dark, back and forth, and with a cheer from all of them, let it sail into the air. She was on her feet as it arced over the river - running when it struck the water - and dove headfirst into the river when it began to sink. 

          The cold water made her gasp and she coughed, choking on it, stroking through the current to reach the sinking dark object. She dived under, keeping her eyes, open, stretching, licking, and flailing, until her fingers brushed the burlap sack. She grasped it, turned toward the surface, and kicked hard. Her boots and dress were weighing her down, making it harder, and the sack didn't help. It was like an anchor and it became heavier with each passing second. She kicked harder and harder, her lungs burning and begging for air. But the surface retreated, the sunlight moved away from her, and her legs burned. 

          Suddenly, an arm was around her waist and legs were kicking next to hers. She found herself being pulled up and out of the water. She broke through the surface and sucked in air - coughing. 

          "Calm down. I have you." It was Scott's arm around her, and it was his voice in her ear, and she relaxed at once, knowing she was safe. He was strong. Dependable. She was safe. 

          It felt like eternity before they were able to fight clear of the current and reach the bank of the river. Tessa heaved the wet sack out of the water and fell onto the grass, panting, still coughing up the water she had swallowed. Scott sat on the grass beside her, out of breath, and shook his wet hair out of his eyes. 

          "What were you doing out there?" 

          Tessa knelt and turned the sack around, looking for the tied opening. "I had to rescue them." There was the twin, but she could not make her fingers unravel the knots. She shook too much with the cold, and water dripped from her hair into her eyes, making it impossible to see clearly. But Scott was quicker than she was, and in seconds he had pulled off the twine and spread open the mouth of the burlap sack. 

          Six grey and black kittens lay motionless within the sack. Tessa picked them up one by one, rubbing their wet bodies, and lifted them to her face - trying to feel their breath or heartbeat. Scott did the same, and after a moment said, "Here!" 

          The little grey kitten cupped in his hands moved weakly and meowed plaintively. Scott handed it to Tessa, and she cradled it to her chest, her hands shaking, and suddenly she was crying. 

          "Do you think it will live?" She asked through her tears.

          "Hold it close to you for warmth," he said, "And let's get it dry as soon as possible." 

          Tessa wiped her nose and sniffed, looking up at him, "Thank you." Tears continued to pour down her cheeks as he nodded. His cheeks were red with the cold and his hair was plastered to his head. But his eyes were so kind, so full of compassion, and Tessa felt like she had never appreciated him fully until this moment. 

          "Are you hurt, Tess?" He asked. 

          She shook her head. 

          "What were you thinking, jumping in there like that?" 

          "I wasn't thinking - I just knew I had to do something." 

          He nodded, somehow understanding, and reached out to scratch the head of the kitten she was holding. "What will you call her?" 

          Snuggling the kitten in close, Tessa thought about it for a moment, and then answered, "Maria." 


	7. Chapter 6: Do You Only Wanna Dance?

** Chapter 6: Do You Only Wanna Dance? **

 

 

            The afternoon sun was shining through the windows of the sitting room, casting long shadows across the walls and the floor. Tessa was seated on the couch attempting to focus on her needlepoint, but was really half dozing, half daydreaming. The quiet, interrupted only by the sound of her mother's own quick-moving needle, combined with the warmth of the room was the perfect atmosphere for a nap. Just as Tessa let her eyes slip closed, her mother spoke up.

            “Tessa, I think it’s time that you began dance lessons.”

            That immediately caught the twelve year old's attention and she sat up straight. "Oh mother, really?" Most of the time when her mother made pronouncements like this it was something bad, but Tessa had been longing to learn to dance ever since she was a young girl. Her fascination with the movements and music never fading.

            “Yes, your father and I talked it over. I’ve requested Madame Marina to come a few times a week and begin teaching you. After all, you’ll be old enough to attend balls and dances in just a few years.” Her mother went back to concentrating on her sewing, but she smiled softly to herself. She could sense the joy that Tessa was feeling, and she was pleased to see her daughter's happiness. It was important to her that Tessa learned as many skills as possible for a lady - she wanted her to be her very best self - and it was a relief to have something that Tessa wouldn't fight her on. 

            Tessa was vibrating with contained emotion – the feeling stretching all the way from her toes to the top of her head. Dancing. _Finally_. She knew her mother wouldn't approve if she jumped for joy, so she saved it until later when she was alone in her bedroom. Once there, she jumped up and down in her nightgown, grinning like a fool. 

 

            The feeling didn’t last long. Madame Marina was very strict and, according to Tessa, overly critical. It turned out that dancing was hard, but it was even harder when your teacher was a perfectionist. She expected the very best, would never hear of accepting anything less, and made sure Tessa was acutely aware that she wasn't measuring up. It only took a few painful weeks before Madame Marina decided the current plan simply was not working. After dismissing Tessa for the day, she requested to speak alone with Mrs. Virtue.

            They sat down at the little tea table in the corner of the drawing room, and after tea was served Madame Marina wasted no time in stating her opinion. 

            “Mrs. Virtue, I must tell you that your daughter is struggling.”

            Mrs. Virtue was taken aback. “I don’t understand. Surely it’s just a matter of these things taking time?” No one could say that Kate Virtue didn't believe in her daughter - she was a firm believer that Tessa could do anything and do it well. She couldn't accept the idea that her daughter might not be succeeding.

            Madame Marina sipped her tea - black, no sugar - and arched a skeptic eyebrow before responding, “The girl is too hesitant and nervous. She needs a partner who will steady her and make her feel more confident. I believe she will learn much better this way. I will bring in one of my male students next week, if you approve.”

            Mrs. Virtue paused, thinking it over. “We… have a stable-boy that Tessa is friendly with… Would he be suitable?” She wasn't entirely convinced that bringing in Scott was the best idea, but if Tessa needed a partner she trusted, he was the logical choice. 

            “Does he know how to dance?” Madame Marina asked, "Or will I be teaching two children instead of one?"

            “No, I’m sure he doesn’t. But Tessa trusts him.”

            Madame Marina paused and sat back, thinking it over. “Well, trust is almost as important as knowledge with a dance partner. We will give the boy a try.”

 

            Kate took it upon herself to ask Scott, and went down to see him the following morning - surprising everyone in the stables as she rarely ventured there. She found Scott brushing one of the horses. "Scott, dear, I have something to ask you." 

            "Yes, Mrs. Virtue?" He was still short enough that he had to look up at her, but only barely. He would be taller than her soon. 

            "Tessa needs a dance partner in her lessons in order for her to advance. I think you might be the right boy for the job." 

            Scott stood there fiddling with the hole in the edge of his shirt for a moment. "Me, ma'am? I've never danced." 

            "No, but Madame Marina says that trust matters more if Tessa is going to gain confidence in her footwork, and there is no one that Tessa trusts more. Plus, you'd be doing me a big favor. I would very much appreciate it if you helped me in this matter." There was a reason Kate and James Virtue made such a pair - both of them had perfect the kind of firm prodding that could get people to give in to almost any demand. 

            "If you want me to, I'll do it." Scott conceded.

             Kate smiled at him and nodded. "Excellent. We'll see you up at the house next Monday afternoon at three o'clock. Please don't be late." 

 

            The next week when Madame Marina arrived Scott was there, looking a little pale and nervous. He had put on his best shirt and cleaned his shoes as best he could, but he still felt wildly out of place. Only the presence of Tessa eased his anxiety. 

            “I’m not sure this is a good idea, kiddo.” He whispered to Tessa where they stood across the room, waiting. He was terrified that he would end up embarrassing Tessa and making a fool out of himself. He longed to be back out in the stables – or anywhere but there.

            “Please, Scott. If you don’t help me she’ll bring in some boy from town and I’d much rather dance with you.” Tessa looked up at him, pleading, and Scott sighed. 

            “Alright, we’ll see how today goes. But I make no promises.”

            Tessa smiled, looking so relieved, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

            Madame Marina beckoned to them, “Come, children. Let’s begin.”

 

            What had seemed impossible to Tessa before suddenly felt fun as Scott learned the steps with her. He whispered encouraging things to her as they worked through the steps and Tessa began enjoying learning to dance. At first it had felt a little awkward, standing so close face-to-face, but once they started practicing things fell into place naturally and Tessa no longer felt uncomfortable. 

            Madame Marina noticed the difference immediately, and said so to Mrs. Virtue when she came into the room later to observe how the children were getting along.

            “You were right, Mrs. Virtue. The girl trusts the boy implicitly, and he trusts her in return. They make a _fine_ pair. NOW I can teach your daughter to dance.”

            Kate looked on at her daughter, and for the first time felt a shiver of fear as she watched her dance with the Moir boy. She had always approved of their friendship – was pleased at the way Scott had brought Tessa out of her shell and helped her become more confident – but now it was as if she was seeing them clearly for the first time.

            Yes, Tessa was only twelve and far from the days of being romantically interested in boys, but Scott would be fourteen that year. He was becoming a young man and Kate was suddenly concerned about what that could mean. As Tessa giggled at something he whispered in her ear, Kate realized that she would have to keep a much closer eye on their friendship in future.

 

            Madame Marina came to Ilderton Manor twice a week to teach them, and Tessa and Scott were happy to discover that they looked forward to it. Not only that, but they had taken to dancing whenever the mood struck them, which often meant traumatizing the horses as they waltzed loudly up and down the stalls.

           “The two of you are incorrigible. Get out of my barn. Shoo!” Patch would chuckle and wave his hands at them, forcing them out in to the pasture or courtyard, whichever was closer.

           “Someday you’ll be waltzing in the ballroom at the Christmas ball.” Scott gasped - breathless from their latest gallivanting through the barn, and they climbed up to sit side by side on the pasture fence while they recovered.

           “And you’ll be right there with me.” She nudged his shoulder, but he didn’t return the gesture like he usually did.

           “Nah. That’s for fancy folk. I’ll be taking care of everyone’s horses.” He didn’t sound disgruntled though, merely accepting of the fact that they were of different social statuses – something Tessa always refused to acknowledge.

           “Don’t be ridiculous. You promised you’d be there to ask me – and what would be the point of all this practicing if you weren’t there?”

           “I’ll dance with you whenever you want, kiddo, it just won’t be at a fancy ball.” He smiled at her, hoping she wasn’t too upset, but she was glaring at him.

           “You’re so frustrating sometimes, Scott Moir.” She managed to stomp her foot on the fence rail, a feat that Scott found impressive considering her questionable coordination.

           “I’m just being honest.” 

           “Well… don’t.” Tessa couldn’t come up with a better argument, but she refused to sit there and listen to him  talk about how someday society would break them apart. He got like this sometimes. It was rare, but it always spoiled her day.

           “Don’t be mad, kiddo, I’m sorry I said anything. Would it help if I let you beat me at checkers?”

           Tessa turned to him, scoffing and sputtering, “LET me!?”

           Scott laughed, having achieved his intended goal - getting her to forget her anger. “Come on.” He hopped off the fence, reaching up to help her down. At first she folded her arms and turned up nose, but when he merely stood there waiting patiently she gave in and took his hands.

          “You’re insufferable sometimes, you know that?”

          “Of course, but that’s why you like me.” And he gave her his patented Scott Moir grin, his eyes crinkling, and Tessa was powerless to resist - she grinned back at him.

          “You know I’m going to trounce you at checkers. I always do.” She took off across the field back towards the barn and Scott happily trailed after her.

          “Sure, T. Whatever you say.”


	8. Chapter 7: Dark Eyes

**Chapter 7: Dark Eyes**

 

              Tessa Virtue stared at the chocolate cake now resting forlornly in the dirt. Fat tears welled up in her eyes, and her hands curled into angry fists. Thirteen year old girls didn’t take kindly to little boys who knocked their cake into the ground.

              Particularly when they stood there and laughed about it.

              “You’re a cad, William McCormick! I was taking that to Scott!” Her younger cousin stuck out his tongue at her, and Tessa found herself scooping the cake from the ground and hurling it at the laughing boy. There was something satisfying about seeing the chocolate smear across his shirt and the smile fall from his face.

              Tessa didn’t have long to relish her revenge, though, because her mother quickly appeared (she always seemed to be there at Tessa’s worst moments) – her mouth set in a hard line – and led her away.

              “Tessa, a lady never expresses her disappointment in public.” Her mother’s admonition was gentle, but firm, as it always was.

              Even though she knew her mother meant well, Tessa shuddered every time she heard the words, “Tessa, a lady never…” or “Tessa, a lady always…” but even then it was something like, “Tessa, a lady always pays attention to her guests, even when she finds them boring.”

              Tessa knew better by now than to speak when her mother lectured. Every time she tried to defend herself, it only made the torture last longer. 

              "I know William can be... a difficult little boy, but that's no excuse for unladylike behavior." 

              "Yes, mother."

              With a nod, her mother dismissed her. Once free, she slipped back into the kitchen to wash her hands and retrieve more cake, then headed back towards the stables – this time without running into any of her obnoxious McCormick cousins who were staying at Ilderton for a visit.

              She burst into the stables, looking forward to seeing Scott’s face when she handed him the dessert – his favorite. Tessa loved surprising Scott with treats from the house whenever she could.

              Instead, she found him chatting happily and laughing with another boy. The other boy was dark-haired and dark-eyed and also dressed for work in the stables. He was shorter than Scott, maybe even shorter than Tessa, and looked entirely at home there even though she’d never seen him before in her life.

              Instantly feeling excluded, she attempted an air of aristocratic arrogance reflective of her mother.

             “Tess!” Scott noticed her almost instantly, as he always did, “Is that for me?” The look on his face of utter delight was exactly what she had been hoping for, but Tessa kept her own features neutral.

             “You’re the best, kiddo.” He grinned and leaned in to kiss her cheek in gratitude – something he’d been doing more and more often lately. She refused to let it affect her, even though it always sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach (a feeling she didn’t want to examine too closely).

             When he pulled back he took in her expression and demeanor, immediately sensing that something was off. Curse him and his ability to read her like an open book. “What’s wrong?”

             “Are you going to introduce me to your new friend?” She ignored his question and nodded towards the other boy, who was watching them curiously.

             “Oh! Sure. Tess, this is Patrick Chan. He’s new here – Patch just hired him yesterday.”

             To Tessa’s surprise, the boy marched right up to her, offering his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Miss Virtue. Scott talks about you non-stop.”

             “I do not.” Scott protested around a mouthful of cake, but Patrick ignored him.

             “Everyone calls me Chiddy. I’d like it if you did, too.”

             Tessa felt her distrust fading. She returned the handshake and Chiddy smiled at her. The way his smile made his face light up caused any trepidation she was still feeling to disappear completely. She knew they could be good friends.

             “Well, then you should call me Tessa. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you any cake. I would have, if I’d known.”

             “It’s alright. I’m sure Scott will share some of his.”

             Tessa laughed, “I’m sure he won’t.” They both looked over at Scott.

             “Hey!” He protested, even as he finished scraping off his plate, “You didn’t say you wanted any.”

             “How could he? You never gave him a chance.” Tessa teased. She turned back to Chiddy, “You’ll learn never to leave Scott alone with chocolate cake. He sucks it up like a tornado.”

             Chiddy laughed along with her and Scott looked back and forth between them.

             “I don’t like this,” he grumbled, “You’re ganging up on me.”

 

             It turned out that Tessa’s initial fear that Chiddy would upset the balance between her and Scott was unfounded. He was kind and funny and acted as a mediator the rare times she and Scott argued, and she also knew that Scott appreciated having a male friend his own age around to talk to -even if it pained her a little to admit that. 

 

             One sunny afternoon Tessa slipped down to the pastures and sat on the fence of the round-pen while Scott and Patrick worked one of the horses. She watched for a little while in a content silence, enjoying the warmth of the day and the slight breeze that was blowing through the air, caressing her skin, before eventually tilting her head back and closing her eyes, soaking in the sun.

             After a little while, Chiddy let Scott take over and came and sat beside her. “How are you today, Tessa?”

             Opening an eye to peak at him, she replied, “I’m well, and yourself? Have you adjusted to life at Ilderton?”

            “I’m very well, thank you, and very happy here.”

            “You’re a natural with the horses.”

            “Thank you.” He ducked his head, embarrassed at the compliment.

            “Have you always wanted to work with horses?” Tessa was eager to learn more about him, not having much experience with friends other than Scott. And Scott was…different from other friends. She glanced at the boy in question, admiring the muscles in his shoulders that he was beginning to develop, before catching herself and quickly turning back to Chiddy.

            “No… in all honesty, I want to be a teacher. But I needed work, and this was available. And like you said, I’m not bad at it.”

            “I believe I said you were a natural.” Tessa smiled warmly at him, “But I hope you won’t give up on the idea of being a teacher, if that’s what you really want.”

            “Thank you, but I’m content here. My father lost his job at the mill, so I'm grateful to have this job.” He hopped down and moved to relieve Scott and give him a break. Scott walked over to where Tessa was seated and scooped water out of the bucket that hung on the fence-post nearby.

            “What were you and Chiddy talking about?” He asked, slightly out of breath and very sweaty. Tessa had always minded and called him gross when they were younger, but it didn’t seem to bother her today.

            “Oh, nothing. I was just asking if he was happy here.” Tessa closed her eyes again and leaned back towards the sun.

            “That’s nice of you. To make sure he’s happy.” Something in Scott’s voice made her turn to look at him, giving him a curious look.

            “Of course. He’s our friend.” Whatever was bugging Scott seemed to dissipate as quickly as it had appeared, and he climbed up to sit by her.

            “Have your parents talked any more about taking you to Paris?” If Tessa was taken off guard by the rapid change of subject, she didn’t show it.

            “Papa said he wanted to go in the spring, but Mama thinks we should wait until I’m a little older.” Tessa had been disappointed to hear that – her mother always won – she had been so hoping to go to Paris next year. Her father had been promising to take her ever since she was a little girl.

            “Good.” Scott sounded so definite.

            “Why? You know how much I long to go.” She protested, folding her arms and giving him a look that said she clearly demanded an explanation. He sat up and started trying to backtrack.

            “I just meant that… that you’re only thirteen and… and you still can’t dance.” It was the dumbest thing he could have said, and he was mentally kicking himself for it, but Tessa only laughed.

            “Scott, you’re my dance partner – you know that’s not true. Madame Marina told us just last week she’d never seen a pair so skilled at such a young age. Just admit it’s because you’d miss me.” She dared to tease him, heart pounding a little as she waited for his response.

            “Yeah, yeah. I’d miss ya, kiddo.” He didn’t look at her as he said it, giving him an air of indifference. She shrugged it off, but Tessa would be lying if she said it didn’t sting a little. “Let’s take Chiddy into town for a soda, what’d’ya say?” He smiled at her and she shook off her feelings of disappointment. She had been hoping he would admit that he would miss her as much as she would miss him.

            “Yeah, I think he’d like that.” 


	9. Chapter 8: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters tonight! :)

**Chapter 8: The Umbrellas of Cherbourg**

 

 

            The summer of 1896 brought the fair to town, an event that only happened very rarely and was the highlight of the year whenever it occurred. Everyone, wealthy and poor, old and young, would visit for at least one of the days it was in town, if not more often. It ran through the month of August and Tessa had been looking forward to it all summer.

            She was fourteen now and becoming a beautiful young woman. She didn’t know if it was her mother’s influence, or her own maturing demeanor, but she found herself hating “ladylike things” less and less – which meant that sometimes she lashed out and got filthy from playing stickball with Scott and Chiddy, or hunting for wild strawberries in the woods. Everything seemed to be shifting, and she was desperately looking forward to embracing the sense of childhood that the fair would provide.

            Her parents wanted to take her on opening day, but she was determined to wait until Scott could go, and so that Saturday morning when Patch granted him the day off the two of them headed off to town feeling like little kids again.

 

            “What do you want to do first?” Scott asked as they approached the entrance, coins he had carefully saved for this day jingling in his pocket.

            “Anything. Everything! Whatever you want.” Tessa was bursting – anxious to get inside.

            “Let’s get some cotton candy, and go from there.” Scott laughed.

            Eating their spun sugar, they wandered through the various stalls. There were all sorts of strange and exotic things for sale – funny hats and pretty rugs and lots of jewelry. Tessa stopped to look over a tray of silver rings. She didn’t own much jewelry, but the simple beauty of these caught her eye.

            “Pick one and I’ll buy it for you.” Scott offered.

            “Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to.”

            With a laugh Scott said, “You’re not asking, I’m offering. Come on, pick one.”

            Tessa looked closer until she found one that she liked and fit her middle finger perfectly. It was simple, but it suited her. “Thank you, Scott.” She smiled at him and he took her newly adorned hand in his and lead her off towards the ferris wheel.

            “No. Definitely not.” She dug her heels into the ground, forcing him to stop.

            “Tess, it’s a carnival – you have to ride the ferris wheel.” He tugged on her hand.

            “It’s not safe!”

            Scott pulled again, “They had one at the Chicago World’s Fair – they talked about it in the paper – and nothing bad happened. Come on.”

            With great trepidation Tessa followed him and allowed herself to be seated in the small passenger car, grabbing tightly to Scott’s arm as it swung back and forth.

            “I’m going to kill you.” She looked at him seriously, but he just chuckled.

            The steam engine moved the wheel around and Tessa squeezed her eyes shut tight, sitting close to Scott’s side – holding on for dear life. It hadn’t been his intention, but he’d be lying if he said he minded the feeling of her plastered to his side. He looped an arm around her, and eventually she was able to open her eyes and somewhat enjoy the novelty of it.

            When it ended she was quick to dismount. “I demand a ride on the carousel now that I’ve ridden this monstrosity.”

            “Your wish is my command. Aren’t you glad you’ve experienced it though? Something brand new?” Scott gestured for her to lead the way.

            “Once. Once was enough.” She stated firmly, and he grinned and followed her towards the carousel.

 

            They laughed until their stomachs hurt making the ugliest faces they could in the fun-house mirrors, goggled at the contortionists, and marveled at the collection of wild animals. There were clowns and men on stilts and mimes performing around every corner.

            “Oh Scott, let’s get our fortunes told.” Tessa exclaimed, pointing at the tent that read “Psychic: 5 cents.”

            “Come on, Tess, you don’t believe in that.” He moved in the other direction, but Tessa insisted.

            “It’ll be fun. We can laugh at how wrong she is.” Tessa pulled his sleeve and he was powerless to resist.

            Groaning, Scott followed her into the tent where an older woman sat at a round table across from a cliché crystal ball.

            “Come in, come in. Let Madame Seraphina tell you your future.” She spoke with a foreign accent – that seemed overdone to Scott – and placed a jar on the table where he begrudgingly dropped in two nickels.

            “Yes, I see it now…” The old woman waved her hands theatrically around the ball, and Tessa looked at him – the contained laughter evident in her eyes.

            “I see… young love.” Tessa’s smile instantly dropped and her face went red all the way to her hairline. “Yes, and a separation… heartbreak… a tall, dark, handsome stranger…” Scott had gone stiff as well, refusing to look at Tessa. “Hmmm… yes, a rocky road ahead.”

            “What does that mean?” Tessa cut in, but at that Madame Seraphina sat back.

            “Thank you for coming.” She folded her hands in her lap.

            “That’s it?!” Scott protested.

            “The crystal has nothing more to reveal.”

            “But you hardly told us anything.” He argued, but Tessa stood up quickly.

            “Come on, Scott.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the exit of the tent, “It’s just for show, it doesn’t mean anything. She makes it all up.”

            Madame Seraphina glared at them, “I'm not a liar - you'll see. I think you’d better leave now.”

            Scott threw another glare at the old woman and followed Tessa out of the tent.

 

            Once outside they stood there for a moment, blinking rapidly as they readjusted to the bright sunshine. It was an awkward silence, both refusing to look at each other, but then it became too much for Tessa and she had to lighten the mood.

            “What a load of nonsense. I’m sorry you wasted your money. Let’s go get candy apples – my treat.”

            Seeing her attempt at levity for what it was, Scott nodded, and off they went – silently mutually agreeing never to speak of the fortune teller again.

           

            They spent the entire day at the fair – filling themselves with delicious, yet awful, food and candy. The evening's entertainment was a performance from a famous opera singer who the mayor had invited to town, and Tessa insisted they stay for the show.

            They took their seats as a hush fell upon the crowd. The woman came out onstage and the orchestra started and she sang the most beautiful aria that either of them had ever heard. Tessa felt her heart swell with so much emotion she wondered how she would be able to contain it all.

            When it was over and Scott asked her what she thought, she could barely manage to say, “It was… It was the most hauntingly beautiful thing I have ever heard.”

            Scott’s gaze swept over her face, his eyes looking like a reflection of what she was feeling – all dammed emotion threatening to overflow. “Yes,” he said, his voice low, “hauntingly beautiful.” He reached up and brushed away the hair that had fallen into her eyes over the course of the day, with a gentle touch and a familiarity that startled her. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

            Tessa’s breath came brokenly, and her heart was beating much too fast. In fact, in that still moment, with the setting sun pouring gold into the air and Scott’s hair rumpled from running his hands through it all day, his eyes that dark hazel, and his gaze settling on her with an unexplained weight – Tessa caught her breath, realizing that there was just as much beauty in the face before her as there had been in the soprano’s song.

            In an instant, everything changed. Tessa felt more than just the melting she had felt with Scott before. She felt a sudden flame - a burning – and she was immediately consumed by it. Her face turned hot, and she looked away from him quickly, but not before she saw a little smile twitch his lips.

            She moved to stand, finding that her legs had gone numb, and wobbled for a moment until Scott stood beside her and gripped her elbow. “Stamp your feet, it will help.”

            Still blushing, Tessa kept her face down, focusing on her feet. “We should be heading home. It’s getting late.”

            “Let’s go.” Scott said, still holding her elbow, and she quickly pulled away, flashing him a quick smile to cover up her pounding heart.

            “Great!” The word came out sharper than she had intended, and Scott gave her a questioning look, but she couldn’t answer it. She didn’t feel quite herself. Or at all herself. Her heart was on fire and she was terrified that it showed in her face.

            She hurried away, leaving Scott to scramble after her. As they walked Scott attempted to fill the silence with small-talk, noticing that something was amiss, but not sure what. He had thought they’d been having a swell time.

            Tessa bid him goodnight on her front step, thanking him genuinely for a wonderful day, and slipped inside without lingering like she normally would, leaving Scott to head to his small apartment in a state of confusion.

 

            “Well, dear, did you and Scott have a lovely time?” Her mother asked as she entered the drawing room.

            “Yes, it was splendid.” Tessa managed to answer in a half-distracted way, face still feeling flushed and legs a little shaky.

            “Are you quite alright?” Her father prodded, noticing her odd demeanor.

            “Yes, papa, just a little headache. I think I’ll head upstairs to bed.”

            “Too much food, I’d imagine.” Her mother chastised, but with a smile so Tessa knew she wasn’t really angry. “Goodnight, Tessa, we’ll see you in the morning.”

 

            Tessa tossed and turned through most of the night. Her restless thoughts plagued by the realization that she had had at the fair.

            Somehow without noticing, she had developed feelings for Scott. Romantic feelings. She wasn’t unintelligent – she hadn’t been blind to the changes in him, in them, over the past year or so, but she had just assumed it was a natural progression of their friendship and growing older. It hadn’t occurred to her that it was because she… _fancied_ him.

            Throwing her arm over her face, Tessa groaned. She’d gone and become infatuated with her best friend. It was a disaster. She was certain he didn’t feel the same – he still called her kiddo, for goodness sake! Anyone who called a girl kiddo couldn’t possibly think of her romantically.

            “I’m going to have to learn to hide this.” She whispered out loud to herself. She’d never been good at hiding things from Scott, but this was the one thing she MUST keep secret. She could never bear it if he found out and treated her differently – which she was sure he would do.

            She sat up, looking at herself in the mirror across the room, “You can't ever let him know, Tessa Virtue!” And with a nod to herself her resolve solidified and she was finally able to fall into a troubled sleep.


	10. Chapter 9: I Could Have Danced All Night

**Chapter 9: I Could Have Danced All Night**

_I only know when he_

_Began to dance with me_

_I could have danced danced danced all night_

 

            At fifteen Tessa was used to the flurry surrounding her parents annual Christmas ball. As a child it had all seemed so overwhelming and marvelous and she had been so anxious to grow up and join in the merriment. Now, knowing that it was her last year before being allowed to participate, Tessa felt more at ease. Content to watch the extra men her mother had hired set up decorations and the maids work hard to make sure everything was spotless.

            Tonight there seemed to be an added air of change that heightened every sensation. Tessa was on the cusp of womanhood, and today she felt it acutely.

            “Tessa, darling, come have tea with me. I feel as though I’ve hardly seen you all week.” Her mother called from the drawing room as she walked past. 

            “Will you and Scott be watching from the window again this evening?” Her mother asked as she sat down.

            “I expect so. I haven’t seen him yet today.” Tessa replied as she stirred in a bit of milk with her tea.

            “I can’t believe how tall he’s become. He’s really turning into a fine-looking young man.” Her mother always spoke with a tone of indifference, but Tessa knew better than to assume any comment was innocuous.

            “I suppose.” She replied with a slight shrug, “I hadn’t really noticed.” It was a blatant lie. Tessa had always thought Scott was handsome, but lately it seemed to be the only thing that she could think about. She found herself blushing and behaving clumsily around him now, unsure of herself in a way she never had been before. When he smiled at her she felt like her heart was racing at the speed of a horse. She had tried desperately at first to quench any romantic feelings towards him, but when they refused to go away she focused all her willpower on keeping them hidden. So far she had been faithful to her promise last fall to keep her feelings a secret. At least, she thought she had. Scott had never said anything or behaved any differently, so she assumed he was still blissfully unaware.

            None of this was information that she wanted to disclose to her mother, and she didn’t like the calculating look that she was currently receiving.

            “Honestly, mother, Scott and I are just good friends. We don’t think of each other in that way.” Tessa hoped to high heaven that she sounded more sincere than she felt.

            “Hmmm…” Her mother just nodded and sipped her tea, “And what about that other boy, Patrick?” She pressed.

            “Oh no. Definitely not.” Tessa quickly replied, almost laughing out loud at the idea. She loved Chiddy like a brother, entirely different from the whirlpool of emotions she felt towards Scott.

            “Now _that_ I believe.” Her mother said with a knowing look. “I must get back to preparing for the ball. I’ll see you in the morning dear.” With a kiss on Tessa’s cheek her mother gracefully exited the room and Tessa slumped in relief. She was wholly uncomfortable with that line of questioning and the idea that her mother might be suspicious made her faintly nauseous.

            Tessa knew what the response would be if she confessed to her mother that she was infatuated with Scott. No matter how much her parents had been kind to him over the years, he was still the stable boy. Not a suitable match for the only daughter of Mr. James Virtue, head of London City Bank and owner of the magnificent Ilderton Manor. Tessa snorted and rolled her eyes. It didn’t matter anyway. Scott was seventeen, handsome, and could probably have any girl he wanted, so she knew her parents needn’t fear any reciprocation on his part.

 

            Tessa tried to distract herself all afternoon by reading or playing the piano, but it was no use. The atmosphere in the house had permeated even the upper floors and she was feeling antsy. She knew she was putting off the inevitable. She and Scott had been watching guests arrive from the second floor window ever since he had moved in, and if she didn’t show up at the stables first he would just come looking for her.

            The stables were one of Tessa’s favorite places on the whole Ilderton property. Not just because Scott was usually there, but because it seemed so warm and friendly and _alive_. There were always things going on and work needing to be done. Men grooming the horses, cleaning out the stalls, filling up the feed buckets. Tessa sometimes came here even when she knew Scott was elsewhere just to take in the atmosphere and sneak sugar cubes to her horse.

            Not prepared yet to see Scott after being interrogated by her mother, Tessa was grateful to see Chiddy first.

            “Hey Tess, you come to get Scott for the party?” Chiddy asked as he continued brushing the horse he was working on. A beautiful bay gelding named Sable that her father had recently acquired.

            “Actually I thought I’d invite you this year, Chiddy.” Tessa teased, “Scott never dances with me now, so I’m in need of a new a partner.” Their lessons with Marina had ended a few months ago, and Scott seemed to feel as if dancing around the stables was too childish now. Chiddy grinned back and put down the brush before extending his hand. Tessa took it and they broke into a completely mistimed waltz around the small space.

The air was filled with their gleeful laughter, until suddenly she felt Scott approach from behind. Her newfound infatuation with him seemed to bring along an acute sense of where he was, even when she couldn’t see him. It was beyond frustrating as she felt the goosebumps on her arms rise in anticipation. Chiddy seemed to sense it too, and they came to a stop.

            “Don’t you think you should ask my permission first?” Scott addressed Chiddy with a raised eyebrow. Tessa tried not to shiver at the implication of what he said, reminding herself that he was just teasing. When she turned to look at him though, she thought for a moment that there was a serious look in his eyes, before it disappeared as he broke into his characteristic joking grin.

            “What can I say, man? The girls just love me.” Chiddy joked and they all laughed.

            With a warm smile Scott turned to Tessa, “Let’s go, kiddo, or we’re going to miss seeing Mrs. Harrington’s hat choice this year.” Answering Chiddy’s questioning look, he continued, “she always wears the most ridiculous things on her head.”

            Tessa laughed and hoped it sounded natural and not awkward or hesitant.

 

            Watching the guests arrive was just like it always was. They laughed and mocked from the upstairs window and after a little while Tessa began to feel more at ease. Until he called her “kiddo” again.

            “I’m not a kid anymore, you know.” Tessa couldn’t resist saying. It felt like the protest to his nickname for her had been bursting to get out for a long time now.

            Taken aback at her outburst, Scott replied, “I’m sorry. It’s just a nickname, T.” He looked like she’d just kicked his puppy and Tessa instantly felt guilty.

            “I know. I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

            “I know it’s tough, watching everyone go to the party and not you. But just think, this is your last year watching from up here.” He was trying to cheer her up, and Tessa appreciated the effort, but being reminded that this ritual was coming to an end just made her sadder. Sensing this, Scott suddenly stood and held out his hand.

            “Miss Virtue, may I have the honor of this dance?” He looked so serious that Tessa couldn’t help bursting out laughing.

            “What are you doing?” She managed to ask after a moment.

            Looking slightly offended, Scott replied, “What does it look like? I’m asking you to dance. What good are all those lessons we took if we aren’t going to use them?” Delighted that he was willing to dance again, Tessa stood quickly and placed her hand in his. He pulled her into a waltz, their footwork timed perfectly with the music drifting up from below.

            “Thank you, good sir. May I compliment you on your magnificent dancing?” She couldn’t resist teasing him by taking on a somber tone.

            “Thank you, mademoiselle. I believe I’ve never seen as fine a dancer as yourself in all of France.” He played along.

            “Oh so you’re French now?” She giggled.

            “All the snobby young men are.” He replied matter-of-factly, and Tessa just laughed again.

            “Merci, monsieur, merci.”

            They had always danced well together, perfect partners almost straight from the beginning, and Tessa was happier than she had been in days. After the waltz ended a faster-paced song began and Scott began leading her in a made-up step sequence.

            “Scott,” she laughed in surprise, “what are you doing?”

            “Creating our own dance.” He grinned at her before spinning her down the hallway. They spun and turned and quick-stepped up and down until Scott dipped her low as the song ended. Both breathing heavily, Tessa realized as he let her up just how close they were standing. Her hand in his, his arm around her waist, and when Tessa looked up at him she saw something in his warm brown eyes that she’d thought she’d only imagined ever seeing before.

            He started leaning in closer and whispered, “Tess…” and for one brief second, she thought she might die of a racing heart before he kissed her. It felt like her blood was pounding through her body. She was certain that’s what was about to happen and she tilted her lips up to him and closed her eyes.

            Just then a loud bang and the sound of clattering silver rang out and Scott jumped away from her. Spinning around, they saw one of the maids had tripped on the rug at the end of the hall and dropped her tray. She hadn’t noticed them, but the spell was broken.

            “I should head back. I’ve got to do night check with the horses.” Scott wouldn’t look at her and instead turned and left before she could even say goodnight. But the blush she caught on his cheeks told her what she needed to know. Scott felt the same way she did, she was certain of it.

            Tessa walked back to her room feeling as if she was floating on a cloud. That night she laid awake for a long time, too restless and excited to possibly sleep. Suddenly to future seemed wonderful again - she only had to be patient.


	11. Chapter 10: Dare You to Move

**Chapter 10: Dare You to Move**

 

            The weeks following the Christmas ball passed quietly. At first, not much changed between Tessa and Scott. If he noticed she was giving him secret smiles and if she noticed that Scott was using any excuse to touch her, well neither of them was going to say anything.

 

            “What’s going on with you two lately?” Chiddy asked one afternoon as he and Scott cleaned the mud out of some of the horses’ hooves.

            “Who? Me and … this horse?” Scott was clearly confused and only half listening, focused on the task at hand.

            “No, idiot. You and Tessa.”

            The hoof pick slipped out of Scott’s control, cutting his hand. “Ow! Fuck.” He lifted his hand to his mouth to suck on the cut – thankfully it wasn’t too bad. His childhood aversion to swearing had been lost pretty quickly once he started spending more time with the other groomsmen. 

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Chiddy came over to take a look, but Scott waved him off.

            “It’s fine.” He began wrapping it up in one of the bandages they kept handy – working with horses could bring any number of accidents. “What did you mean about me and Tess?”

            “Scott.” Chiddy looked at him like he was being purposely obtuse. “You know what I mean. Other people might not see what’s going on, but I’m with you both all the time. I'm not blind.”

            Refusing to look at him, Scott said, “Nothing is happening. We’re just friends. Like we’ve always been.” He retrieved the pick and went back to work, paying closer attention this time.

            “I’d sooner believe the sun was a ball of cheese than that you and Tessa don’t have anything going on. Look me in the face and tell me you haven’t noticed how beautiful she’s become.”

            “She has always been beautiful.” Scott muttered defensively. Chiddy shook his head, chuckling.

            “Do you hear yourself?”

            Frustrated, Scott looked up at him. “What do you want me to say? Of course I think she’s beautiful, but she’s also a _Virtue –_ so nothing will ever happen.”

            “You might want to tell Tessa that then, because if she isn’t in love with you already than she soon will be.” Chiddy went back to work, leaving Scott stupefied.

            Loving Tessa had been a part of him for the better part of eight years. By now it was just a fact that he had accepted about his personal make up. Like his dark brown hair or long nose. Loving Tessa was another feature of himself. He had never stopped to consider that she might love him back – at least not as anything other than a friend.

            He had started to hope, when they went to the fair together the year before, that she might have developed feelings for him, but she acted so infuriatingly normal afterwards that he figured he must have misread her.

            He shook his head. It didn’t do to dwell on what she may or may not feel. It didn’t change the fact that she was a Virtue and he was a Moir and he knew what that meant – there was no future for them.

 

            Winter began to fade and spring was blossoming beautifully - awash with new growth. Tessa was beginning to convince herself that what had happened with Scott had been a figment of her imagination. He hadn’t actually been about to kiss her, she had just tricked herself into believing that was what was going to happen because she wanted it so badly. And the little touches and kisses on her cheek since then were just Scott being Scott, overly affectionate, yes, but surely only friendly gestures.

            One April morning at breakfast, Tessa was preoccupied with trying to decide if she should just ask Chiddy if he knew how Scott felt. It was a risk, since he would surely tease her mercilessly, but if anyone knew how Scott felt, it would be him.

            “What are your plans this morning, Tessa?” Her mother suddenly asked her, forcing her attention to return to the table.

            “I thought I might go riding.” Tessa replied. It wasn’t a lie, she just planned on doing a little investigating at the stables beforehand. Hopefully Scott would be busy and she could get Chiddy alone to talk.

            “Excellent. After you return your father and I would like to speak with you.” Something about the way her mother spoke set Tessa’s nerves on edge.

            “Aren’t we speaking now?” She hesitantly asked.

            “We have something a little more serious that we’d like to discuss with you.” Her father chimed in, “It can wait until after your ride.”

            “Alright,” Tessa acquiesced uncertainly. Her parents had been whispering more frequently lately when they thought she wasn’t paying attention. She wasn’t sure what the topic was, but it couldn’t be anything good if they were keeping it from her.

            She didn’t let herself be distracted by that thought for long, though. She had a more pressing matter at hand. She needed to get to the stables, find Chiddy, and discover just what her future held in regards to her best friend – and hopefully not die of embarrassment in the process.

 

            When Tessa first entered the stables they appeared to be empty. Feeling more confident that she would find Chiddy alone, she walked down the row of stalls, pausing to slip sugar cubes to each of the horses, before continuing to look for her friend. At the end of the row he was still nowhere to be found, but Tessa could hear a horse being worked in the pen. She climbed up onto a wooden bench using a barrel as a stepping stool and peered out of the window. There was Chiddy, giving one of the horses its morning exercise.

            “Perfect.” She thought, “he’ll be far too distracted to tease me too horribly if I ask him while he’s working.”

            “What are you doing up there?” Whirling around at the sound of Scott, Tessa lost her balance on the rickety table and began to fall. Letting out a small scream she reached out to grab onto something, but her hands only came up with air. Before she could hit the floor, Scott’s strong arms were wrapped around her and he was helping her stand upright.

            “Careful, kiddo!” He said, the concern evident in his voice. “You could have broken your neck!”

            Shocked, Tessa began to laugh and after a moment Scott joined in. “Seriously, though,” he said when they had calmed down, “What were you doing up there?”

            “I was looking for Chiddy.” Tessa replied a little distractedly, reveling in the fact  that Scott still had his arms around her waist and basking in the warm feeling spreading from where he touched her. She kept her own hands on his shoulders as she gazed up at him.

            “What for?” Scott asked, and his voice seemed to have dropped low. It shot a thrill through her stomach.

            “I had a question I needed to ask him.” She replied, her hands moving of their own accord to play with the thick hair at the base of his neck.

            “What was the question?” Tessa imagined that he had pulled her closer, his hands more securely fastened around her waist now. She decided to be bold.

            “About you. Us.” She whispered up at him, blushing but determined not to run away.

            “Us?” Scott whispered back and then he smiled. His special smile that was only for her. And Tessa knew then that she was in love with Scott Moir. She smiled back at him, and when he leaned down this time to kiss her she lifted up her lips confidently in return.

            It was just a soft touch at first – a barely-there kiss that was both sweet and chaste and yet somehow set her blood on fire. He pulled back and when she didn’t protest he moved in again, kissing her more firmly. She reciprocated, her hands tangling in his hair while he pulled her in tight, his hands spread wide across her back.

            Tessa would have been content kissing him forever, but the bubble burst when her father’s voice rang out loud and angry, “Get your hands off my daughter!”

            Instantly Scott jumped away from her and Tessa felt the loss acutely. “Father, I…” “Mr. Virtue I can explain…” She and Scott started at once, but they were quickly cut off.

            “Young lady you are coming back to the house with me, _now_. Mr. Moir, I’ll speak to you later.” And for the first time in her life, Tessa heard a coldness in her father’s voice that scared her a little bit.

            “Yes, father.” She looked over at Scott and met his eyes – feeling reassured at what she saw there. He looked chagrined, but not regretful. With a small smile she turned and followed her father back to the house.

 

            He didn’t speak a word until they reached the sitting room where her mother was working on her needlepoint.

            “James?” She asked looking up at them in confusion, “and Tessa? I thought you were going for a ride.”

            “Kate, I just caught Tessa and Scott in a compromising position in the stable.” And somehow hearing her father say it like that made Tessa turn bright red. What had felt so right only moments ago now suddenly felt more illicit.

            “Did you?” Tessa’s head shot up – her mother didn’t sound the least bit surprised. “I thought something like this might happen. Especially now that they’re growing older.” She continued. “I think we should move ahead with the plan, James, sooner than we had discussed.”

            Plan? What plan? Tessa was beginning to panic a little. This could not mean anything good.

            “I agree wholeheartedly.” Her father nodded sternly.

            “You’re not going to dismiss Scott, are you father?” Tessa asked desperately, terrified that their impulsiveness might cost Scott his position – the job he loved.

            “No dear,” her mother replied instead, “Your father and I have decided to take you to live with your Aunt Beatrice in Paris. She runs a boarding house and finishing school for young ladies and I think you would benefit greatly from it.”

            All the color drained from Tessa’s face. Leave Ilderton? Her family? Scott? She had dreamed of visiting Paris, yes, but emphasis on _visiting_ – not staying!

            “No you can’t!” She cried out. “Please, I won’t kiss Scott again, just let me stay!”

            “You certainly will NOT be kissing him, or doing anything else of the sort!” Her father state emphatically, but her mother just calmly placed a hand on his arm.

            “This decision has nothing to do with Scott. It is simply the best thing for you. You’ll love Paris, and it will provide you with an incomparable education and experience. After a few years, you will move back home.”

            “Years!? But this is my home!” Tessa continued, beginning to cry in earnest.

            “Darling, this is a good thing. We were going to wait and leave after your sixteenth birthday, but now I think we should move up the date.” Her mother turned to her father and he replied resolutely, “I agree. We can be ready to go by Monday.”

            “Monday!” Tessa sank into the nearest chair, “But that’s only three days from now!”

            “Tessa,” her father said sternly, “Your mother and I have made a decision. Please respect it. Of course we will miss you terribly, but we know it’s what is best for you.”

            Tessa could tell that this was a battle she never had any hope of winning, so with tears spilling over she ran from the room.

 

            She made it all the way to the stables mostly from memory, her vision useless as it blurred completely. Scott was still there, and she threw herself into his arms.

            “Tess what happened?” He asked in concern, tilting her chin up to look at him.

            “I’m being sent away.” She managed to get out.

            “What? When? Where?!” Scott asked in alarm.

            “To live with my aunt in Paris. We leave on Monday!” She let out a strangled sob and buried her face into his chest. Scott wrapped his arms tightly around her and tucked his head into the side of her neck. They stood like that until her tears had started to subside.

            A small cough broke them apart. “Tessa, I think it would be best if you said your goodbye to Scott now.” Her mother spoke before looking at Scott. “Scott, you’re not being dismissed, but we do have an errand for you to run that will take you away from the house for the next few days.”

            Tessa started to protest, but Scott just nodded. Understanding that he was on precarious grounds and Mrs. Virtue was giving him a second chance. Kissing Tessa once was forgivable, it seemed, but anything more and it wouldn’t matter how much the Virtues liked him – he would be sent away permanently.

            Tessa turned away from her mother and defiantly wrapped Scott in a tight hug, which he couldn’t help but return.  “I’ll write to you every day.” She whispered.

            “You’d better.” He softly replied with a squeeze.

            “Come along now, Tessa.” Her mother’s tone left no room for argument and she slowly pulled away.

            Tears starting to fall again, Tessa barely managed to say, “Goodbye, Scott.”

            “See you around, kiddo.” He tried to smile back, but his own eyes were wet and his chest felt painfully tight.

 

            That afternoon Tessa was reduced to waving at Scott from her bedroom window as he set off on the contrived errand her parents had sent him on - her heart breaking.

 

            Monday morning dawned cold and dreary, with rain threatening to fall any moment. Tessa assumed God must be on her side and was trying to send a message to her parents that this was all some horrible mistake, but it was a message that her mother and father seemed perfectly content to ignore.

            Trunks were loaded, traveling clothes were donned, and goodbyes were said. For her mother and father it would only be a few weeks. They were going to make sure that Tessa was settled in Paris and then enjoy a second honeymoon on the European continent, but for Tessa there was no end in sight. Her parents had refused to give her a firm return date – only saying that they would all know when it was the right time.

            “Ready, Tessa?” Her mother asked, poking her head into the now plain bedroom that once contained Tessa’s whole life.

            “Yes, but I still need to say goodbye to Chiddy.” She replied, the melancholy tone impossible to keep out of her voice.

            “Hurry along then, we don’t want to miss our train.” Her mother disappeared and Tessa made her way out to the stables one last time.

            “Hey there, mopey Myrtle.” Chiddy greeted her as she walked down the stalls. His teasing was gentle and the smile he gave her told her all she needed to know. They would miss each other terribly.

            “Goodbye, Chiddy.” She sniffled and gave him a hug. “I’ll write to you. Promise you’ll write back.”

            He smiled at her, “Of course I will. I’ll send you all the local news and gossip.” She smiled back, grateful for his attempts to make her cheerful. Nothing could seem to break his spirit.

            “I have something for you,” He said, holding out a letter, her name written on the front in Scott’s handwriting.

            Chiddy smiled at her warmly, “Take care of yourself, Tess.”

            “You too.”

 

            She saved the letter until they stopped at the hotel that night after a long day journeying east by train. Once alone, she broke the seal and read what Scott had written.

 

_Dear Tessa,_

_They say absence only makes the heart grow fonder. I’ll look forward to proving the truth of that statement when you return._

_Scott_


	12. Chapter 11: Nights and Days

**Chapter 11: Nights and Days**

 

 

             Beatrice Virtue Menier, the older sister of James Virtue, lived in a beautiful house at the end of Avenue Van Dyke in the 8th arrondissement of Paris. The back of the house looked out over the large Parc Monceau - which provided the perfect venue for long walks and escaping the busy hubbub of the city.

             It was a stunning home made of an ivory-colored stone exterior with a dark grey roof and plenty of tall windows to let in natural light. There was a small, round, stone courtyard out front closed off by a wrought iron fence embellished with gold leaf, and a wide staircase leading up to the front door.

             The house had been built by her husband, Emile-Justin Menier. Emile had inherited his father’s large and successful pharmaceutical company. They also manufactured chocolate – a pursuit he particularly enjoyed. Emile was always bringing home samples of the latest delicious cocoa treats that the company had created.

             Together Emile and Beatrice had one child, Henri, who was married and living in Marseille, but they had been unable to have anymore. After struggling for many years to accept that she would never have the daughter she so very much desired, Beatrice asked if she could open the home up as a finishing school for young ladies. Always eager to please his wife, Emile consented.

             Beatrice took great care to teach the young ladies who came to live there the proper etiquette and social graces that they needed to ensure that they were prepared to enter society and be the best wives and women that they could be. She also thought it was essential that they experience life, and so she encouraged visits to museums or the theatre as often as possible. 

 

             Upon arriving in Paris, Tessa was relieved to discover that she liked Beatrice and Emile immediately. They were both friendly and jolly people who welcomed their young niece with open arms.

             “We want you to feel at home here, Tessa. Please don’t hesitate to ask us for anything.” Her aunt’s warm smile and genuine affection was enough to convince Tessa that maybe Paris wouldn’t be so bad, although she still had her doubts.

             Kate pulled Beatrice aside while Emile gave Tessa the grand tour of the main floor of the house, including a stop in the kitchens for some chocolate - which delighted the young girl and endeared him to her right away. "As I mentioned in my letter, Beatrice, Tessa has had a bit of an... _unfortunate_ experience with one of our stable boys at Ilderton. You'll keep an eye on her, won't you? James and I hope that with time she will forget this infatuation." 

             "I understand exactly what you mean, Kate. We all engaged in the occasional harmless flirtation when we were young. Tessa will be alright." Beatrice had always been an easy-going person, and could see no harm in flirting with a boy, so long as one remembered not to take it seriously. 

 

             After leaving James and Kate to get settled in their room, Beatrice led Tessa upstairs to where all of the girls slept. “Tessa, this is Miss Kaitlyn Weaver.” She said, leading Tessa into the bedroom overlooking the park. Inside there were two comfortably sized beds and two armoires, with a writing desk in the corner. A very pretty blonde girl turned and stood up from the window seat.

            “Good afternoon.” She curtsied.

            “Kaitlyn, this is my niece Tessa.” She turned back towards Tessa and explained, “Kaitlyn will be your roommate. She’s from Texas, and I’m sure you’ll get along just splendidly. I'll leave you two alone now to unpack and get settled and get to know each other.”

           “How long have you been here?” Tessa tentatively asked her new roommate as she began to unpack her trunk. She’d never had a female friend in her life, unless you counted Patch’s wife Marie – never anyone her own age.

           “About six months. Here, let me help you with that.” She began to help hang up Tessa's dresses. "Who's that?" She asked, pointing to the picture frame that Tessa was now holding.

           "My friends from home, Scott and Patrick." Tessa had brought the only picture of the boys that she had - one she had taken last summer of them with some of the horses in the pasture. 

           "He's quite good looking." Kaitlyn said, gesturing to Scott. Tessa didn't respond to that, not trusting herself to speak without giving away everything.

            Instead she said, "Do you like it here? In Paris?”

           “Oh yes." Kaitlyn replied, sitting on the bed, picture forgotten, "It’s so much better than Texas. I absolutely love it. Are you feeling homesick?” 

           “A little.” Tessa confided.

            Kaitlyn slipped her arm through Tessa’s, “Don’t you worry. You’ll be happy here. Tomorrow I’ll take you to _La Petite Pâtisserie_ – their macarons are simply _divine_! Life never seems so bleak after a French pastry.”

            Tessa smiled a genuine smile at Kaitlyn, and thought maybe having a girl for a friend wouldn't be so bad after all. 

            At that moment, another girl with long light brown hair and a hawkish nose walked past their open door. Upon seeing Tessa, she stopped and entered their room. "Who's your new friend, Kaitlyn?" She sneered as she looked Tessa up and down.

            "Mademoiselle Tessa Virtue, Madame Beatrice's niece." Kaitlyn replied with an equally disdainful look. 

            Tessa stood up and gave her a little curtsy. "It's nice to meet you, Miss..."

            "Gabriella Papadakis. My father owns the largest winery in Bordeaux. He's very wealthy." 

            "That sounds... very nice." Tessa was at a loss for what to say. She'd never met someone so arrogant.

            "Well, see you around, girls." Gabriella turned up her nose and walked away, leaving Tessa speechless.

             She turned back to Kaitlyn. "Is she always like that?"

             "Gabriella? Oh, yes. She's awful. Her father buys her anything she wants so she's awfully smug. But you'll get used to it." 

 

* * *

 

            _April 30, 1898_

_Dear Scott,_

_We’ve arrived safely in Paris. My Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Emile are lovely – I’m sure you would get along with them, especially Uncle Emile. He loves to laugh! His laugh is big and boisterous and infects everyone when he really gets going. He spoils us all with chocolate daily, which I must admit is one of my favorite things about him. Chocolate has always been the way to my heart._

_I’m sharing a room with a girl from Texas named Kaitlyn. She’s just about the friendliest person that I’ve ever met, which is a relief. The other girls are decidedly less so. One of them, Mlle Gabriella Papadakis, loathed me on sight and I have no notion as to why. She is clearly the leader of a little clique here, which gratefully Kaitlyn is not a part of, and I expect will make life difficult for me._

_The food in France is wonderful – especially the desserts! I think of you every time I pass by the little cakes in the patisserie windows. I know you would just love them._

_I hope all is well with you at home. I miss you terribly._

_Fondly yours,_

_Tessa_

* * *

 

              A week after their arrival in Paris Tessa's parents took her to see the Eiffel Tower. Only nine years old, it stood magnificently over the Parisian skyline. Tessa had heard that people thought it was ugly when it was first built and had wanted it torn down, but she couldn’t understand why. She thought it was absolutely amazing.

             She walked slowly under the tall tower - the tallest in the world - soaking in the sight of it and the fact that she was finally there in person. The river Seine flowed peacefully nearby, while people on the land rushed past. Paris seemed to be a city at odds - slow and fast all at once.

            “Come along, dear.” Her mother beckoned, waking her from her reverie, and she walked over to where her parents were standing by the entrance to the elevator.

            “No, Mama, I have to take the stairs.” She protested.

            “Don’t be ridiculous. There are thousands of them. It will take too long, and we have lunch reservations at the top.” Her mother’s tone brokered no argument, and Tessa followed them, gazing longingly at the entrance to the stairwell and thinking of the boy back home who was supposed to be climbing the stairs with her.

             At the gift shop Tessa bought a postcard to send Scott, writing on the back, “I saved the stair climbing for when we’re together. I hope you don’t mind.” It did little to ease the ache in her heart.

* * *

 

            At home at Ildteron Patch was attempting to keep Scott as preoccupied as possible. The poor boy had been moping around ever since the Virtues left for France. Although Patch didn't know all of the details, he had seen enough of Scott and Tessa over the years to guess at least a little as to the reason the boy seemed so lost. In an attempt to help, he had given Scott their newest acquisition, a temperamental colt, to gentle and make saddle ready. Now that Scott was nearing eighteen Patch was certain it was time for him to take on a larger role in the Ilderton stables.

            “Are you sure about this, Patch? You’ve always been in charge of gentling the horses.” Scott was incredibly nervous.

            “Absolutely. You’re ready for this, Scott. And I believe you can do it. just remember that it takes time and you need to earn the horse's trust.” 

 

            It proved to be just the distraction Scott needed from the empty house looming over everything – and the girl whose absence he felt like a missing limb.

            The colt was young and stubborn and it took days working with a lead rope to get the colt comfortable wearing a halter. Training him to handle the bit took even longer, but Scott was slowly getting the horse to trust him.

            He spent hours with the colt, feeding him, brushing him, and just being near him to get it used to his scent and presence. Often he found himself waking up in the stall, having fallen asleep there reading in the evenings. Patch had trained him to believe that horses needed to learn to trust, and Scott wasn’t about to compromise that by rushing the process. He was committed to spending as much time as it took to get the young horse used to his presence.

            When Scott finally felt ready for saddle training he got Chiddy to help him by bringing another horse into the pen that was fully saddled, hoping the sight would help calm the younger horse. He had started leaning on the colt lately while brushing him to get him used to having something on his back, and now was ready to begin with a blanket.

            Encouraged by how quickly the colt accepted the horse blanket, Scott felt fairly confident in moving forward with a saddle. But the first time he attempted putting the saddle on, the colt bucked and ran away.

            “Damn it.” He glowered at the horse that was now standing defiantly on the opposite end of the pen. “Alright, the long way it is.”

            He placed the saddle on the ground in front of the colt, letting it smell it and get used to it that way, and went back to putting the blanket on its back and getting Chiddy to put weight on the opposite side whenever he leaned over the horse to brush it. He left the saddle in the stall as well, making sure the horse had as much exposure to it as possible.

            Eventually Scott felt ready to try again and this time the colt accepted the saddle and Scott was able to mount for the first time while Patch watched on, Chiddy on the horse by his side to keep the colt stable. Once he’d ridden around the pen a few times, Patch came and leaned over the fence.

            “Well done, Scott. I knew you could do it.” He grinned proudly. “What will you name him?”

            Scott, who was currently reading a book on Greek mythology Tessa had given him, responded, “Pegasus.”

 

            _May 27, 1898_  

           _Dear Tessa,_

_I rode Pegasus around the pen yesterday, and Chiddy and I plan on taking him for a short trail ride tomorrow. I can’t wait for you to see him, I can just tell that he’s itching to run. He’s going to be a magnificent race horse. Patch said that he’s going to put me in charge of gentling all the colts we buy now, although I’m still not sure that’s such a good idea. I am happy that he’s giving me more responsibility though. It makes me proud to know that he thinks so highly of me._

_You’ll be happy to hear that he and Marie are expecting their first child (finally). Patch is practically bursting at the seams with excitement and Marie is glowing. We’re all so happy for them._

_I hope you’re saving some of those pastries for me. I don’t want to hear that France has run out of desserts due to the invasion of a sixteen year old girl!_

_I’m very glad to hear that you’re making friends, although I’m sorry to hear about that girl Gabriella giving you trouble. I know you’ll figure out a way to beat her though, you’ve always been  incredibly smart._

_I hope you know how much I miss you. Ilderton just isn’t the same._

_Scott_

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emile-Justin Menier was a real person in late 19th century Paris. The house he built is now a hotel and it is beautiful. Obviously I've taken some liberties with his character, but I liked the idea of Tessa having an uncle who inherited a pharmaceutical business, but whose real interest was in chocolate.


	13. Chapter 12: And the Waltz Goes On

**Chapter 12: And the Waltz Goes On**

 

 

           Time had begun to pass as it always did - slow in the moment, but incredibly fast overall. Summer had given way to autumn, which had now succumbed to the cold grip of winter. Tessa gazed morosely out of the window, imagining the preparations going on at home right now for the Christmas ball. Winter in Paris just wasn’t the same – she missed the snowy wonderland of Ilderton. Here she seemed to be surrounded by nothing but shades of grey.

            Despite her best efforts, however, she was learning to enjoy Paris. She loved her aunt and uncle dearly, Kaitlyn had become her best friend (except Scott, of course), and Paris itself had been so beautiful in the changing fall leaves that she had fallen a little in love with it against her will.

            But on this grey afternoon she sat at the window and let her homesickness consume her. She stared down at the couples walking their dogs in the park and thought longingly of Scott. She wondered what he was doing right now – if he was thinking of her. If his heart was still fond like he promised it would be.

            “Tessa, come downstairs at once.” Kaitlyn marched into the room, disrupting her solitude.

            “No thank you.” Tessa muttered, not bothering to turn around.

            “We are trying to decorate for Christmas and Gabriella is managing to take all the fun out of it. And she has no taste to boot! It’s going to be awful if you don’t come fix it.”

            Tessa rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

            Kaitlyn sat down next to her dramatically. “No, it’s worse.”

            Tessa looked at her then, arching an eyebrow, and Kaitlyn smiled softly at her. “Come on, Tessa, don’t stay up here all alone. It’s Christmas.”

            With a deep sigh, Tessa acquiesced and followed her downstairs.

 

            It turned out that she hadn’t been totally exaggerating. Gabriella really did have no taste and Tessa quickly became distracted from her melancholy by arguing with her. Aunt Beatrice had to step in at one point and remind them that ladies always settled disagreements in a calm and collected manner.

            Eventually things were set right and the large drawing room looked beautiful. The tree in the corner was magnificent, and they had spread holly and mistletoe around the house, and wrapped a great big red ribbon around the banister of the main staircase. It wasn't home, but it certainly felt more like Christmas now. 

           

            “Girls, I have an exciting announcement for you.” Aunt Beatrice said over breakfast the next morning. “You’ve all been invited to a ball at Lord Everly’s house Saturday night!”

            Excitement and chatter broke out around the table as all the girls reacted to the news. It was bittersweet for Tessa. She was excited, naturally, but somehow it felt wrong that her first ball was going to be somewhere other than at Ilderton Manor.

            She snuck back upstairs after breakfast to reread Scott’s latest letter.

 

_December 21, 1898_

_Dear Tessa,_

_The fact that it hasn’t snowed there is criminal. We are buried in it here! It feels as though it started snowing in October and hasn’t stopped since. The pond froze over in early November so Chiddy and I have had plenty of opportunities for skating – although it’s not as fun without you._

_Everyone was worried that your parents would have to cancel the ball, but the snow stopped the day before and we were able to clear out enough of a path that sleighs were able to make it through alright._

_Your mother asked Chiddy and I to play the part of footmen for the night, since some of the local boys she had hired were sick. It was very odd being down in the midst of all the action, instead of up at the window with you. To be honest, I didn’t feel like myself all night. It turned out perfect though, like always, and I imagine you would have been the belle of the ball had you been here._

_Thank you for the copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame that you sent me – and thank you for making sure it was an English copy!_ _I’ll let you know how I get on with it. Did you give Gabriella a lump of coal like I suggested?_

_Chiddy wants me to let you know that he’s following your advice and registering for some university courses by correspondence. If he leaves me alone at these stables I will blame you for encouraging him._

_Happy New Year,_

_Scott_

            With thoughts of home in her heart, Tessa attended the ball on Saturday with everyone else. Lord Everly’s manor was decked out in splendor, with swaths of gold and white decorations. It was visually stunning, if a little more cold and regal than Tessa would have liked.

            All of the girls were ecstatic at the prospect of getting to dance, and the carriage ride over was full of happy chatter.  

            “Everyone says I’m the greatest dancer they have ever had the pleasure of watching.” Gabriella was bragging, as usual. “I was taught by the best teachers in France. I expect after tonight we shall see many more gentleman callers at the house.” She smiled smugly at her friends with the implication.

            Tessa let out an unladylike snort - she couldn’t help it. Thankfully Gabriella didn’t hear her. Her triumph came later that night when a young man asked her to dance right away, leaving Gabriella behind on the edge of the dance floor looking as if she’d just eaten something sour.

            Tessa danced with one boy, then another, then a third – round and round the dance floor until she was breathless and begging for a respite. She went to stand by Kaitlyn, who was quietly sipping on some punch. After retrieving some herself, she leaned over to whisper to her friend, “Don’t look now, but I think that young man is staring at you.”

            Kaitlyn’s head shot up and her eyes went wide, “Where?”

            “I said _don’t_ look, silly. Oh, I think Uncle Emile is bringing him over here.”

            Indeed he was. Uncle Emile came to stand before them with the dark-haired young man following close behind.

            “Ladies, may I introduce to you Monsieur Andrew Poje. He’s the younger son of Nicholas Poje and is here doing business for his father. Mr. Poje, may I introduce my niece, Miss Tessa Virtue and her friend, Miss Kaitlyn Weaver.”

            “It’s a pleasure to meet you ladies. My father is one of the premier businessmen back in Ontario. I’m very proud to be here representing him.” Mr. Poje said a little arrogantly.

            “Do you dance as well as you boast, Mr. Poje?” Kaitlyn asked, never one to be intimidated by arrogance. Uncle Emile quickly tried to hide the laugh that burst out of him.

            Andrew’s handsome face turned pink as he stuttered to reply, “Better, I hope, if you will do me the honor of dancing with me, Miss Weaver.”

            She nodded, holding out her hand, and Tessa could tell by the shy way he took it that any arrogance he had was a front. She was pleased to see the way the two smiled at each other as they danced - they moved well together.

            Overall, the night was a resounding success. Tessa danced almost every dance, and Gabriella only two – which Tessa counted as a personal victory. But her heart felt empty as she slipped into bed that night. None of the young men had the warm eyes or familiar smile she longed for. She tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep, until she finally gave up. She rose and lit a small candle, tiptoeing quietly so as not to wake Kaitlyn, and went to her desk.

 

_December 30, 1898_

_Dear Scott,_

_We went to a ball tonight at Lord Everly’s house – a friend and business associate of Uncle Emile’s. I’ll admit, I went there hoping that I would hate it. It felt like I was being unfaithful to Ilderton just by accepting the invitation, but Aunt Beatrice insisted that I attend. I hate to say it, but it turned out to actually be pretty fun. The food was very good (as is required by the French) and the dancing was marvelous. Thank heavens you and I had all those lessons!_

_Madame Marina would be so proud of me, I pretended to be much more confident than I felt. And much to my satisfaction, more young men asked me to dance than asked Gabriella. I’m ashamed to admit I cannot seem to quench the vindictive fire that burns inside me towards her. She was boasting the whole way to the dance about how many beaus she would have by the end of the night - it was insufferable!_

_Kaitlyn danced with a young man named Andrew Poje, and I have an awful suspicion that he might pose a danger to our friendship. I’m not sure I entirely like this habit of people growing older. It feels as though we’ve only just become friends and now that is being threatened._

_Thank you for the news about Chiddy. I’m so glad that he has decided to go back to school. You and I both know how much he has wanted this – so don’t go distracting him from his studies!_

_I miss you terribly._

_Happy New Year,_

_Tessa_

* * *

 

 

 

            In the brisk January morning air Scott stoked the fire in his stove and then settled down in front of it to read Tessa’s letter. It started well, but then he paused in the middle – unable to get past the sentence “More men danced with me…”

            She had written it so carelessly that he knew it probably didn’t mean anything, but it was occurring to him for the first time that “young men” wasn’t an abstract thing - Tessa was meeting new people in Paris. New men. Men who she was probably being encouraged to let pursue her and to flirt with.

            He’d never seen Tessa flirt – he wondered if she even could. Visions of her teasing and joking with other boys and maybe even letting them kiss her came into his head unbidden.

            In a fit of passion he wrote out the longest letter to her that he had written so far, feeling a desperation that he never had before. He was powerless to stop her from meeting new people, but he’d be damned if he let her forget him.


	14. Chapter 13: Into the Mystic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time jump. It's now Spring 1900

**Chapter 13: Into the Mystic**

 

            _Dear Scott,_

Tessa was seated at her desk by the window preparing to write her letter, as she did every week, but for the first time she wasn’t sure what to say. Two years in Paris and her homesickness had faded into a distant ache. It faded more and more with every friend she made and every new thing she experienced. She still missed home intensely sometimes, but she was a little distressed to realize that she was thinking about it less and less.

            Paris was beautiful. Her mother had been right – she had fallen in love with it. The stalls selling books along the Seine, the pastries, the bells of Notre Dame ringing out on Sunday. She had lost her heart completely to this city.

            And now, nearly eighteen, Tessa couldn’t deny the thrill she was feeling at being noticed by so many new young men. But how could she write any of that to Scott? Somehow thinking of Scott and French men at the same time left a bad taste in her mouth.

            “Tessa are you ready to go?” Kaitlyn came rushing into the room. Today was the opening of the Exposition Universelle and her aunt and uncle were taking all of the girls to see it.

            “Yes, Kaitlyn.” She dropped her pen and quickly buttoned up her jacket, following Kaitlyn downstairs.

 

            The day was unusually warm and sunny for mid-April. The new fairgrounds were incredibly crowded and the girls quickly realized that they had no hope of staying together, so they paired off, agreeing to meet back at the entrance at five o’clock sharp. Tessa and Kaitlyn moved through the hoard of people, being jostled this way and that.

            “This is very different from the fair we had back home.” Tessa complained.

            “Oh Tessa, this is nothing like what you would have had there. I heard they have talking pictures here! Can you believe that?” Kaitlyn’s excitement was infectious, and Tessa couldn’t help but join in.

            “That does sound pretty amazing.”

 

            They ended up spending a good portion of the morning watching the talking pictures - brief films of excerpts from opera and ballet that amazed everyone in the audience, including the two girls who were delighted that people could actually make something so marvelous.

            Afterwards they wandered the stalls, both of them buying one of the Russian matryoshka dolls that were on display and causing quite a stir among visitors. For lunch they sampled the new American Campbell’s Soup, which had been awarded a gold medal.

            “I’m not sure this is any better than the soup the cook makes.” Kaitlyn commented, scrunching up her nose.

            “I suppose it’s impressive because you can buy it in a can.” Tessa shrugged, and then both girls laughed. “I really shouldn’t mock, I can’t cook anything to save my life. They probably invented this just for me.”

             Tessa bought as many different postcards as she could to send to Scott. Now she would have something interesting to tell him, which made her feel oddly relieved. She’d never struggled for something to tell him before and the notion was incredibly disconcerting.

           

            There was talk of little else but the fair for weeks in Paris. It had taken the city by storm and drove them all to distraction. But it wasn't the only distraction for long. That year Paris had the honor of being the second-ever city to host the modern Olympic games and if you overheard any conversation around the city chances are it was about the Exposition or the Olympics. Everyone seemed to stop caring about anything else. 

            Uncle Emile and Aunt Beatrice believed both were important, once in a lifetime events, and encouraged the girls to attend either as much as possible. The equestrian competitions held the most interest for Tessa, thinking of Scott and Chiddy and Patch and what they would think of the horses and competitions.

 

            “That’s Guillaume Cizeron.” Gabriella sighed from where she was sitting in the stands next to Tessa. She and Kaitlyn had come to see the Equestrian Long Jump today, and unfortunately Gabriella had joined them. “Isn’t he handsome?”

            “How can you tell? He’s so far away.” Kaitlyn joked, conscious of the new ring on her left hand, and unsure if it was entirely appropriate now for her to talk about other men’s looks.

            “I just can.” Gabriella stated in her snobby way.

            “He doesn’t seem that impressive to me.” Kaitlyn replied.

            “You’re blinded by Andrew. Everyone knows an engaged girl can’t be trusted to judge another man's looks.”

            Kaitlyn was only partially upset at that, choosing to ignore her and stare happily at her ring instead. Tessa sighed a little internally. She was thrilled for Kaitlyn – after a year and a half of courting, Andrew had finally received permission from his parents to propose – but it was also a little bittersweet.

            Tessa turned back to look closer at the mysterious Monsieur Cizeron that seemed to have caught Gabriella’s eye – and who was clearly the impetus for Gabriella’s decision to come to the competition today.

            He was good looking, from what she could tell, but he held himself so stiff and straight – Tessa thought he probably didn’t really know how to have fun.

 

            In the end Monsieur Cizeron took third place on his horse, Tolla. Gabriella was on her feet cheering along with all of the other French fans in attendance. Tessa and Kaitlyn exchanged a look – frankly they both thought the sport was a little ridiculous, considering the men competing in the _human_ long jump could go further.

            “Let’s see if we can meet him, girls.” Gabriella headed off in the direction of Monsieur Cizeron, and Tessa and Kaitlyn had no choice but to follow.

            They were mortified at the way Gabriella maneuvered her way through the other people, but Monsieur Cizeron turned out to be a perfect gentlemen, who was, Tessa was annoyed to discover, good looking up close.

            “You were fantastic, Monsieur.” Gabriella wasted no time, the flirtation in her eyes was blatant.

            Tessa and Kaitlyn hung back a little, but the man addressed all three of them anyway. “Merci, ladies, merci. Thank you for coming to watch today.”

            “Oh we wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Gabriella insisted, and Tessa cringed at how obvious she was being.

            “You must allow me to introduce myself, I am Guillaume Cizeron. Whom do I have the pleasure of meeting today?”

            “I’m Kaitlyn Weaver, this is Tessa Virtue, and this is Gabriella Papadakis.” Kaitlyn cut in, hoping to prevent Gabriella from embarrassing them further.

            “It is a pleasure to meet you.” He addressed all of them, but his gaze had landed on Tessa and wasn’t moving. She was mortified to discover that she was blushing. “I’m afraid that I don’t have much time to get to know you today, may I have the honor of calling on you ladies later this week?” He was still looking at Tessa, but it was Gabriella that answered.

            She gave him their address and giggled as they bid their farewells. Tessa walked away without saying anything, but turned back after a moment to see if he was still watching her. He was. It was entirely unnerving.

            “I do believe you have an admirer.” Kaitlyn whispered as they walked home.

            “I should hope not.”

            “Oh, Tessa. Don’t be so quick. He is good looking, clearly athletic, and from the nonstop information Gabriella has given us, he’s wealthy. You should give him a chance.”

            “I can’t.” Tessa protested. For two years she had refused to take any gentlemen callers seriously, even after Kaitlyn got engaged to Andrew and other girls married and moved away. Her heart was still halfway around the world.

            “Because of Scott?” Kaitlyn pressed.

            “Don’t.” Tessa warned. Scott had always been a taboo subject. Tessa had been carefully keeping her French life and her Ilderton life in two separate boxes and didn’t like any hint of them mixing.

            “Don’t throw something away that might be real for a childhood dream.” Kaitlyn warned, the conversation coming to a close as they arrived home.

 

            Tessa wrote Scott a long letter that night in protest, mocking the sport of Equestrian Long Jump and purposely omitting any mention of the man who won third place.

             “ _I have never seen such a useless sport. You would have been mocking it mercilessly and I would have enjoyed every minute of your commentary. Horses are magnificent creatures and shouldn’t be subjected to such stupidity. And the men who competed seemed as though they had no real care for the animals – the beasts were merely a means to an end. And what a ridiculous end. I should have gone to see the tug-of-war events instead, I’m sure it would have been a much better use of my time!”_

 

* * *

 

            “Scott, I have a letter here for you.” Scott stopped brushing the horse he was working on and walked over to where the maid stood at the entrance to the stables.  

            “Thanks, Susan.” Scott tucked it into his pocket.

            “Are you coming out to the concert at city hall tonight, Scott?” Chiddy asked as he walked in, nodding at Susan as she left.

            “Nah, I’ve got a letter to read.” He patted his pocket with a small smile.  

            “You know, I’m really glad that you and Tess still write each other – it’s great. But there are other girls in this city. It might be good to meet one or two of them.” Chiddy had always loved both Tessa and Scott and he wanted nothing more than for them to be happy, but as time passed and Tessa stayed in Paris, he worried that Scott was missing out on his own life in the hope of something that might never happen.

            “I’m not interested in meeting other girls.” Scott gave him a pointed look and went back to brushing the horse.

            “Hey, I just meant you could be making new friends – trying new things.”

            Scott rolled his eyes, “I appreciate the concern, but I’m happy with the friends I have.”

            “Well then tell Tessa I say hello.” Chiddy attempted to make peace.

            “I will.”

            It wasn’t the first time Chiddy had tried to get Scott to go out to some town event with him. Scott appreciated what his friend was trying to do, but if you knew what you wanted why waste time with something – or someone – else? He didn’t know what exactly was going on between him and Tessa. They were both unattached, technically, but they had written to each other every week for the last two years, which he figured must mean something. It didn’t seem right to spend time with other girls when he still felt committed to Tess.

            He sat down on the stool in the corner of the stall and pulled out her letter. He loved hearing about everything she was doing. Paris seemed to be incredibly busy this year and he was living vicariously through Tessa’s letters and postcards.

            He was a little confused by her vehement feelings about the equestrian long jump event, though. It seemed out of proportion for her. When he wrote his reply later he couldn’t resist bringing it up.

             “ _You seem to feel very strongly about this long jump event. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Yes, it does sound a little ridiculous, but I don’t know that I’ve ever even thought to see how far one of the horses here could jump in a single bound… it would be interesting to witness. Maybe you should try to meet one of the competitors and see what they like about it?”_

Not seeing any harm in his suggestion, he sealed the letter and sent it off to Paris, wondering if Tessa would actually have the chance to meet any Olympians. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Equestrian Long Jump was an event only during the Paris 1900 Olympics, after which it was cancelled for being too unimpressive. The human men really could jump farther than the horses. A French man did take third place on a horse named Tolla – I’ve replaced him here with Guillaume. I like the idea of Guillaume competing in something so stupid and being so proud of it.


	15. Chapter 14: The Great Gig in the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance.

**Chapter 14: The Great Gig in the Sky**

 

 

            Unfortunately for Tessa, the Guillaume Cizeron problem did not go away. Any hope she had that his promise to call would be forgotten went out the window when he showed up the following Monday.

            Aunt Beatrice was only too happy to entertain him, and as Tessa was in the drawing room when he arrived she couldn’t exactly run away upstairs before he saw her. Gabriella tried to monopolize the conversation, which made Tessa think kind thoughts about her for the first time ever, but he kept addressing questions to Tessa in an attempt to draw her into the discussion, and Kaitlyn was out on a walk with Andrew so she had no choice but to engage with him.

            She was acutely aware of her aunt watching the interaction curiously, and didn’t like the calculating look on her face one bit.

            Guillaume was very tall, with a well-manicured beard that Tessa assumed he maintained in an attempt to look older, and an air of easy confidence that most men would be jealous of – even if that confidence seemed unearned. What frustrated her most about him though, was that he didn’t frustrate her as much as she wanted him to. She tried to dislike him, but he was just so... bland. She couldn't muster up enough emotion to feel anything other than annoyed at him. 

            "Monsieur Cizeron seems like a very interesting young man." Her aunt said after he had left. 

            "Does he? I didn't find him particularly interesting." Tessa adopted an air of disdain, but her aunt ignored it. 

            "You're eighteen now, Tessa. It's time to start thinking seriously about these things. You could do a lot worse than that man." Her aunt gave her a pointed look before walking away, not hearing Tessa grumble under her breath, "Or a lot better." 

 

            One visit rolled into two and then three, and his interest in her became more intense – driving Gabriella mad. If she hadn’t hated Tessa before, she certainly did now. Tessa had always been taught to be polite and so she felt completely out of her depth as to how to handle his interest in her without being rude. It didn't help that her aunt and uncle were so obviously encouraging the match. 

            She tried to avoid him whenever possible, but her efforts were mostly unsuccessful. She didn't think she was being particularly encouraging - he must see that she wasn't interested - and yet he kept on visiting.  

            Before she had a chance to put a stop to his attempts at courting her, summer rolled into autumn and he was taking her for carriage rides and to see pictures at the Exposition and for walks across the new Alexander III bridge. Her ineptitude at saying no had gotten her into a real mess and she had no idea how to get out of it.

           

            The unfortunate side-effect of having an aunt that cared about you was that she wrote home to Tessa’s parents about major events in their daughter’s life, and she believed that this was one of them. Beatrice thought there might be real potential with Monsieur Cizeron, and said so in her newest letter to her brother and his wife at Ilderton Manor.

 

            Across the ocean, unbeknownst to their daughter, James and Kate Virtue were discussing this latest development.

            “From what Beatrice writes he sounds like a fine young man. I only hope Tessa will see that and give him a chance.” Kate worried as they sat down to breakfast.

            “Why would she not? Tessa is eighteen now, surely she must be thinking of marriage.”

            “Perhaps she is, but I worry it’s not marriage to a Frenchman that she thinks of.” Kate hadn’t forgotten the events of two and a half years ago, and with every new letter that Beatrice had sent telling her how Tessa had brushed off another potential suitor, her worries had grown.

            “Kate, she must have gotten over any ridiculous notions about the Moir boy by now.” James sat back, confident in his statement and the good sense of his daughter.

            Just as Kate was about to share her concerns, the maid walked in with the morning mail, one side of the tray contained a large pile and on the other side sat just one envelope.

            “Who is that other letter for, Susan? It looked like Tessa’s handwriting.” James asked as the maid turned to leave.

            “It’s for Mr. Moir, sir.” Susan replied.

            Shocked, James continued, “How often does he receive letters from Miss Tessa?”

            “About once or twice a week, sir.” She curtsied again and left the room. 

            “Did you know they were writing each other?” James asked his wife.

            “Of course. It’s only  natural, they are friends, you must remember. Although I confess, I didn’t realize it was so often. I had hoped it would taper off by now.”

            “I don’t like it. Tessa is too old for these childish indulgences. I like Scott, you know I do. He’s a fine young man and well on his way to becoming an excellent stable master one day, but if this illicit flirtation…”

            “Oh, Jim…” Kate cut in, not convinced it was quite as bad as that, but he continued.

            “If this _illicit_ _flirtation_ is allowed to continue I worry about the effect it will have on Tessa’s ability to form any new attachments in Paris.”

            “What do you propose to do about it? You know if you command Tessa to stop it will only make her more determined. Why do you think I haven’t made any attempt to stop it?” Kate warned, setting down her teacup.

            “No, it must come from Scott.” James had a determined look on his face. “I’ll speak to the boy. I know he’ll see reason.”

 

            James waited until the end of the day, putting off the unpleasant task as long as possible. He did not relish the prospect of breaking the two of them apart, but he firmly believed it was the right decision for them both.

            When he reached the stables that evening he asked the nearest groomsman where to find Scott and was directed upstairs to the small apartment.

            He ascended the narrow steps for the first time ever and knocked quietly but firmly on the door.

            Scott answered only a moment later. He was clearly not expecting company – his shirt was untucked, sleeves rolled up, and boots kicked off in the corner of the room. James was a little taken aback at how grown up he looked.

            “Mr. Virtue.” He said, the surprise evident in his voice.

            “Good evening, Scott. May I come in?”

            “Of course, sir.” Scott stepped aside, gesturing for him to enter.

            “I apologize for the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.” Scott wasn’t a particularly messy person to begin with, but he knew how the Virtues lived and his little attic apartment suddenly seemed cramped and dirty in comparison.

            “It’s quite alright.” James sat down on one of the rickety kitchen chairs that Scott had meant to fix, but hadn’t had time to quite yet. He motioned for Scott to sit as well.

            “I’m not sure I know how to say this, Scott.” He began awkwardly after a moment. “This isn’t easy for me.”

            He watched as the blood drained from Scott’s face.

            “Am I being fired, Mr. Virtue?” Scott couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong, at least not recently, but maybe he had forgotten something and was now being punished.

            “No, no of course not. Your work is more than satisfactory. Exemplary, in fact.”James was quick to correct him, and Scott sat back in relief.

            “No, Scott. What I have to say concerns Tessa.”

            Scott immediately sat forward again, instantly alert. “Is she alright? She mentioned she had a cold, but...”

            “Yes, yes of course.” James cut in, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m sure it hasn’t escaped your notice that the two of you are older now. And Mrs. Virtue and I feel some… trepidation at this continued correspondence between you.”

            James Virtue was not a man who was easily intimidated. You don’t run the most successful bank in the province without having a few tough conversations, but the look Scott was giving him made him feel nervous – like he was stepping where he didn’t belong. Suddenly worried that Scott wasn’t going to listen to him, he did the only thing he could think of – he lied.

            “You see, Scott. We received a letter last week from Tessa’s aunt informing us that she is being courted by a young man. It’s quite serious, we understand.”

            Scott’s whole demeanor changed. He looked completely blindsided – like his whole world had been pulled out from under him.

            “We couldn’t be sure if she had told you, but naturally her mother and I encourage the match. This was what we had hoped for when she moved to Paris.”

            Scott stood suddenly. “I understand, Mr. Virtue.” Scott gave him a tight smile and James could see that he did understand.

            “Very good. I’ll leave you to your dinner. Goodnight, Scott.”

 

            After he was alone Scott walked over to his small desk where Tessa’s letter still sat open. It began “Dear Scott, Happy birthday!” – it mentioned the new bridge on the Seine and her latest arguments with Gabriella, but there was no mention of any man. There had never been any men in her letters – at least nothing more than a vague reference to young men asking her to dance at an event or something. He had always naively assumed that meant that there weren’t any seriously interested in her, but now he felt deceived.

            He crumpled up the letter and threw it violently at the opposite wall. Mr. Virtue was right, Scott had been indulging these fantasies for too long.

            What had he thought would happen? Tessa would return from Paris and marry him and they would live happily ever after? In his heart he knew that’s what he’d always been hoping for – had been waiting for.

            But it was a fairytale. A dream. And Scott was too old to believe in fairytales now. The Virtues would never allow them to be together – the subtext was clear when Mr. Virtue was talking to him just now. Better for both of them to come back to reality, and if Scott had to be the one to force it, he would.

            The letters to Tessa would stop. He would focus on his work and let her focus on living the life she was meant to live.

 

            He laid awake for a long time that night, trying to reconcile his decision with his breaking heart.


	16. Chapter 15: Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a little picture collage to the preface, just FYI. :)

**Chapter 15: Temptation**

 

 _October 1, 1900_          

_Dear Scott,_

_I have not received a reply to my last letter. I don’t know what I did to offend you, but if you could please tell me so that we can resolve the issue I would greatly appreciate it._

_November 7, 1900_

_Dear Scott,_

_There has still not been any word from you. I know from Chiddy that you are not ill – which I thought must be the case at first. What is going on? Please let me know what I have done wrong._

_December 23, 1900_

_Scott,_

_How was the ball at Ilderton this year? Were you and Chiddy footmen again? He said he passed all of his exams. One semester left! How are you feeling about that? Is that why you stopped writing? Are you mad that I encouraged Chiddy to pursue his dream of teaching? I’ve been wracking my brains for weeks now and I can think of no other reason._

_December 25 th, 1900_

_Dear Tessa,_

_Merry Christmas, darling! Your father and I are so pleased to hear that things are going well between you and Monsieur Cizeron. We had always hoped for a match like this for you..._

            Tessa stopped cold reading her latest letter from her mother. She had never mentioned Guillaume to her parents for this very reason – which meant that her aunt must have been keeping them abreast of all the goings-on here.

            She still hadn’t found a way to stop being courted by Guillaume Cizeron. And, frankly, as this silence from Scott continued she was a little inclined to let him court her out of spite. She simply couldn’t understand why he had stopped writing her, and while at first she had been sad and apologetic, she was growing increasingly furious at him.  

 

            That fury carried her into Lord Everly’s Christmas ball that night – an annual tradition for the girls of the Menier household. She wore her best gown and made sure she looked as beautiful as she ever had – determined to have a good time.

            That night Guillaume asked her to dance first, then again, and again, and Tessa, who enjoyed dancing immensely, kept saying yes.

            “You are a wonderful dancer, Madamoiselle Virtue.” He said as he spun her around the room, holding her a little too close for her taste.

            “That you, Monsieur. I had a good teacher.”

            “Ah, but it is the partner that matters more, is it not?” He smirked at her and pulled her in a little closer.

            “Anyone can dance well if they’ve been taught properly.” She shot back. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to rest for a moment.”

            She stopped them in the middle of the waltz, no doubt causing a slight scandal, and walked away.

 

            “The two of you dance beautifully together, Tessa.” Her Aunt pulled her aside to say with a warm smile, and pain lanced through her heart. She didn’t want to dance well with anyone other than Scott, but Scott was being an idiot thousands of miles away.

            She had written him so many times, apologizing for whatever she had done to offend him, then, more recently, letters full of anger and hurt. He hadn’t replied to any of them. She had resorted to asking Chiddy about it, but all he had said was, “Who knows what goes on in Scott’s head.”

            Well, at least she knew he was alive. But if he was going to ignore her, then she would turn around and do just the same. She went back to Guillaume and danced as well as she could and put that stable boy out of her mind.

 

            Her parent’s encouragement, along with her aunt and uncle’s, combined with Guillaume’s persistence, finally had broken Tessa down. That night she finally accepted that this was happening – she was being courted by Guillaume.

 

_Scott,_

_I am so mad at you I don’t even know where to begin. I would ask you WHY you are being this way, but you clearly won’t answer that question, so instead I am simply writing to say that you win. I give up. You won’t hear from me again._

_Tessa._

 

* * *

 

 

            The spring weather had set a fever in her blood. She sat at her open bedroom window, itching to do something wild. It had been so long since Tessa had felt free, and the urge was particularly strong today. Guillaume had sent her flowers, a beautiful bouquet of irises, but Tessa longed for the wild lilac bushes of home and her mother’s rose garden.

            A birdsong rang out from somewhere deep within Parc Monceau and Tessa closed her eyes to listen. As other birds joined in, she launched to her feet and decided to go for a walk. Strictly speaking she wasn’t supposed to go out alone, but Kaitlyn was downstairs canoodling with Andrew, and Tessa didn’t really want any company right now.

            Knowing she had to be quick, Tessa summoned up her rusty sneaking skills from when she was a child and ran quietly through the hall and down the stairs. She was out the door like a flash, certain that no one had seen her escape.

 

            Walking through the beautiful park, she let herself dissolve into the surroundings – becoming part of the scenery. She moved slowly, enjoying the fresh air and the sounds of the birds. She gave friendly nods to anyone she passed, but didn’t stop to talk.

            Without warning a large horse pulled up beside her, disturbing her solitude. She recognized it instantly, and looked up to greet its rider.

            “Good afternoon, Monsieur Cizeron.” Her heart sank at the sight of him.

            He was already in the process of dismounting, and soon was standing next to her, holding the reigns firmly in his hand as he gave her a bow.

            “Good afternoon, Mademoiselle Virtue. Are you walking alone?” Tessa had to tilt her head back to look at him.

            “Yes, I was in dire need of some exercise and the day was too beautiful to resist.”

            He smiled warmly at her, and she felt the faint fluttering of rebellious butterflies in her stomach.

            “Do you venture out alone _a lot_ , Mademoiselle?” She could tell he was attempting to tease her, and it made her feel funny. She wasn’t sure if she liked it. Her face grew warm, suddenly embarrassed at being caught acting improperly.

            Feeling a little defiant, she replied, “Frequently.”

            He chuckled and stepped closer to her, and she could see he’d recently trimmed his beard, the length drawing attention to his sharp jaw line. Tessa had to admit he was particularly handsome today.

            “You become more interesting by the day, Mademoiselle Virtue.” His eyes were saying the same thing, as he studied her with such intensity that she blushed.

            “You might as well call me Tessa now. It’s so much shorter.”

            He looked pleasantly surprised, and Tessa hoped she hadn’t just crossed some sort of line. “Very well, then you must call me Guillaume.”

            He offered her his arm and walked her back home. When they reached the doorstep he paused. “Do you like the theatre, Tessa?”

            “Yes.”

            “I would like it very much if you would accompany me this Saturday night. They are performing Bizet’s _Carmen_ and I have heard it’s very entertaining.”

            A genuine smile broke out on her face – she loved the Parisian theatre – “I would like that. Thank you, Guillaume.”

            “Excellent!” He seemed so sincere it melted her heart a little, “I will pick you up in my carriage at six o’clock then.”

            Tessa nodded and bid him farewell, slipping back inside the house.

 

             “What are you going to wear to the theatre tonight?” Kaitlyn asked her from where she sat on her bed, half reading, half daydreaming about her upcoming wedding.

            “I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t suppose it really matters, it’s only Guillaume.” Tessa tried to play it off – though they both knew she had eliminated three dresses already and was currently debating between the fourth and fifth.

            “Tessa, you know he’s serious about you, don’t you?” Kaitlyn was looking at her sternly.

            “Well, I’m not serious about him. I’m too young for that.” She turned back to her closet, trying to decide which dress looked pretty, but not _too_ pretty. Something she hadn’t worried about before, but was now acutely aware of.  

            Kaitlyn scoffed. “You’re nineteen. Three of the other girls here have already gotten married.”

            “And now you and Andrew are next!” Tessa hoped to distract her – talk of Andrew often did.

            This time though, Kaitlyn would not be swayed, “Are you waiting for Scott?”

            That brought Tessa up short. She had never told Kaitlyn about kissing Scott – had always maintained that he was just a good childhood friend. It had felt like tainting it somehow, to share it like run of the mill gossip. Even as the other girls laughed and flaunted their beaus and conquests and teased Tessa about never having kissed a boy, she kept it a secret. She rubbed at the silver ring on her middle finger – a nervous habit she had developed after wearing it for all these years.

            “Of course not. Why would you say that? I’ve told you that we’re…”

            “Just friends, I know.” Kaitlyn finished for her with a roll of her eyes. “If you were just friends you’d take Guillaume more seriously, or if not him than one of the many other boys who are dying to court you.”

            “Don’t be ridiculous. I just haven’t had any interest in any of them romantically. There is no ulterior motive.” Tessa turned up her nose and selected a navy blue dress. It was a good color on her, but not too romantic.

            “Then you should give Guillaume a real chance. He’s rich, attractive, and mad about you.” Kaitlyn insisted.

            Tessa hesitated. Despite the growing distance between her and Scott, she couldn’t seem to shake the sense that she would be betraying him somehow.

            “I’ll think about it.” She acquiesced after a long pause.

 

            She walked quietly next to Guillaume, the street lit by lamps and the bright moon above. He had requested that his carriage drop them off a little early so that he could “Have the pleasure of walking her home.”

            With her arm in his, Tessa realized that for the first time ever, she didn’t feel awkward with him. _Carmen_ had been truly wonderful, and she had cried at the end – clapping enthusiastically for the performers when the curtain fell – and Guillaume had felt the same. They had talked of little else on the drive home, and now a comfortable silence had descended.

            As they reached the gate he stopped and turned to face her, taking her hands in his. “I have had a wonderful evening, Tessa.”

            “Thank you for inviting me to the play, Guillaume. I had a marvelous time as well.”

            He was quiet for a moment, looking nervous, before finally managing to say, “Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

            And this was it. The moment that Tessa had been trying to prepare herself for. Somehow in the three years she had been in Paris, she had avoided being kissed. All the other girls had enjoyed the attentions of young men and the looser rules that defined Parisian society, but Tessa could never bring herself to do it.

            But… it had been over three years now since her first kiss. She was a woman and she wanted to know what it would be like now. Was kissing Scott how all kisses felt?

            “Yes, you may.” She replied and lifted her chin.

            It was awkward at first as their noses bumped together, but then their lips connected and it was… sweet. Tessa felt nothing else – no rush of heat or thrill, no desire to keep kissing. She pulled away first and with a smile bid Guillaume goodnight.

 

            “Well, how was it?” Kaitlyn asked from her bed, where she had been waiting for Tessa’s return.

            “ _Carmen_ was wonderful. You should make Andrew take you to see it. I’ve never been so moved by music before. It was quite tragic though, so prepare to cry.”

            Kaitlyn pretended to throw her pillow at her. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. I saw him kiss you just now.”

            “You were spying?” Tessa cringed as she began to dress for bed.

            “Well, so what if I was? I was curious.” Kaitlyn grinned at her and Tessa rolled her eyes.

            “It was… nice.”

            Kaitlyn grimaced. “Uh oh. Just nice? That’s all?”

            “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

            “Kisses shouldn’t just be nice. They should be passionate – they should make you want more. Do you want to kiss him again?” Kaitlyn demanded, sitting up straight and fixing Tessa with a stare.

            “I wouldn’t be opposed to kissing him again, but I’d also be alright if it never happened.” Tessa shrugged indifferently.

            Kaitlyn collapsed back against the bed with a huff.

            “Why are _you_ upset? Is kissing Andrew so earth shattering?”

            A sly smile grew on Kaitlyn’s face. “Yes.”

            For all of their many chats, the one subject they didn’t discuss much was the physical aspects of Kaitlyn’s relationship. Suddenly desperately curious, she asked, “What makes it so special?” If there was a secret then Tessa wanted to know it. Maybe it wasn’t about Scott versus Guillaume – maybe there was a trick to kissing.

            “It’s Andrew. The things he does to me...” Kaitlyn whispered, Tessa had turned down the lamp, leaving the room lit only by moonlight. The perfect atmosphere for confessions.

            “What do you mean?” Tessa gulped, not sure if she really wanted to know, but eager at the same time.

            “I mean… with his hands. The way he touches me. I’ve never felt such pleasure. It’s amazing, Tessa.”

            “You mean…”

            “Yes. Between my legs.” She boldly stated.

            “Kaitlyn!” Tessa cried out in shock, surprised to hear her say it so blatantly, but Kaitlyn just shushed her.

            “You’ll understand someday, if you ever give Guillaume a chance.”  

            Tessa was surprised to hear Kaitlyn had let Andrew take such liberties before they were married, but she supposed it was natural here in Paris. She had heard whispers between the other girls sometimes, and wondered just what exactly they were getting up to when Aunt Beatrice wasn’t looking.  

            “Do you suppose Guillaume thinks about me like that?”

             Kaitlyn laughed. “Of course he does. He’s a man.” When Tessa didn’t reply to that, Kaitlyn let out another quiet chuckle, “Goodnight, Tessa.”

             But that night as she lay in bed thinking about what Kaitlyn had told her, it wasn’t Guillaume she was thinking about. It wasn’t his hands that were sending her blood racing as she imagined them touching her most intimate places.

             It was a stable boy, with his wild dark hair and warm eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Come on, Scotty! I want to celebrate!” Chiddy was nagging at him again. He’d just received notice that he’d passed his exams with top marks and would be receiving his teaching certificate. He wanted to go out and celebrate his achievement at the pub in town.

            “Alright, alright! We can go.” Scott caved. A pint of beer did sound nice. And as it was Friday night and the Virtues were out of town, he supposed Patch wouldn’t mind. After-all, he was nearly twenty-one years old – hardly a child any longer.

           

            The pub was almost as old as the town and full of character. Scott and Chiddy enjoyed a few pints and playing pool or poker with the other lads that gathered there. There were a few girls who worked there as well who were always ready to have a good time. Scott had messed around with a few of them, but nothing serious, just a little flirting and a kiss here or there – an attempt to fill the hole in his heart. But none of them had the green eyes he was looking for.

            “Hey Scott,” a blonde girl sidled up to his side as he nursed a beer, watching Chiddy drunkenly singing pub songs in the center of the room with a few other guys.

            “Good evening, Hannah.” He replied perfunctorily.

            “Care for some company?” She looked him up and down hungrily.

            “No thank you.” He refocused on his drink, hoping she would leave him alone.

            “Suit yourself. I’ll be around if you change your mind.” She winked and then sauntered off to find the next man, swaying her hips more than necessary.

            “Scott, buddy, what’re you doing over here.” Chiddy had stumbled his way into the seat next to him and Scott laughed.

            “Making sure you don’t do anything too stupid.” He joked – they both knew Chiddy was the responsible one in their friendship.

            “M’fine. M’fantastic!” He grinned, spilling beer on himself. “Oops.” Scott laughed with him and handed him a rag to clean up.

            “I’m glad you’re having such a good time. You deserve it.” Scott said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. As sad as he was to see Chiddy leave Ilderton, he was incredibly proud and happy for his friend.

            “You should be too. Why’d you say no to her?” Chiddy nodded towards where Hannah was leaned against the wall talking to another man, but glancing their way every so often.

            “I’m not interested.” Scott said with a shrug.

            “Because of T? She’s engaged.”

             Scott nearly choked on his beer. When he’d recovered he asked angrily, “Where did you hear that?”

            “Heard Mrs. V talking about it last week. Some French guy. She said she expected an announcement soon.” Scott knew that if Chiddy weren’t so drunk he would never tell him like this, because it felt as if his whole world had imploded. He knew things had been distant between them – which he was entirely at fault for – and he wasn’t so naïve as to think that Tessa wasn’t being courted. Hadn’t Mr. Virtue told him as much last year? But he still hadn’t expected an engagement. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling, deep in his heart, that he and Tess were soulmates… But maybe he had no idea what was really going on in Paris, despite all the letters she had sent him over the years.

            Meanwhile Chiddy had gotten back up and joined in another rousing chorus of “O Canada” in French – leaving Scott there in the wreckage of the information he’d just received.

            He didn’t know what came over him, except that he suddenly felt the urge to lash out. He stood up and found himself marching over to Hannah. Without a word he took her by the hand and led her out back behind the pub. Part of his brain was screaming that this was a mistake, but he shut it up. If Tessa could move on, then so could he. Soulmates be damned.

 

            Kissing Hannah was nice. Fun, even. She kissed him back enthusiastically, all wet mouth and overbearing perfume. Her hands were wandering, and Scott returned the favor – grabbing her ass and pulling her in close against him. She rubbed her leg against his and he felt himself growing hard.

            He pulled her up higher so that she was in a better position for him to thrust against. She moaned and he moved to kiss her neck.

            The back door of the pub burst open and Patrick fell out in a heap. “See if I ever come here again!” He was yelling as the door slammed. Scott pulled away from Hannah, staring at his friend bemusedly.

            “I can’t believe you just got thrown out.”

            “He disparaged hockey, Scott!”

            Scott just laughed and helped Chiddy stagger to his feet.

            “Scott….” Hannah complained, “Are we going to continue or what?” She leaned back against the wall, attempting a seductive pose, but the fire had gone out for Scott as quickly as it had risen.

            “No. I’ve got to get Chiddy back home. Thanks, though.” She stomped back inside and Scott looped Chiddy’s arm around his shoulders.

           

            They stumbled up main street back towards Ilderton, passing a small house where a young woman was taking the washing off the line.

            Chiddy stopped dead in his tracks, mouth hanging open. “That’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Unfortunately for him, she heard his comment and glared at them, unimpressed.

            “I apologize for my friend Patrick here. He likely won’t remember this in the morning. He’s been celebrating a little too much tonight.”          

            “I understand.” The woman said, cheeks tainted pink.

            “What’s your name?” Chiddy asked eagerly, stars in his eyes.

            “Elizabeth Cooper.” She gave them a slight curtsy. “Goodnight, gentlemen.”

            Chiddy stared after her as she went inside and Scott couldn’t help but laugh. “I can’t wait to tease you about this in the morning.”

 

            “M’sorry I ruined your night.” Chiddy said after a little while, his speech a little slurred.

            “You didn’t. Probably saved me from a making a huge mistake, actually.” Scott shrugged, he was genuinely grateful things hadn’t gone any further.

            “Well, if not her then I hope you find some other girl. You deserve to be happy, Scott.” 


	17. Chapter 16: How Will I Know?

**Chapter 16: How Will I Know?**

           1902 arrived with a fury of snowfall the likes of which Paris had never seen. Everyone was complaining about it except for Tessa, who was delighting in having a winter wonderland again. Winters just hadn’t been the same without the wet powder blanketing the ground.

           “Oh, Guillaume, look!” They’ve set up an ice rink under the Eiffel Tower.” Tessa gripped his arm and pointed as they walked past, having just left a lunch appointment with some of Guillaume’s business friends.

            “How childish.” He immediately dismissed it and continued walking.

            “Have you ever done it?” She challenged

            “Of course not. Have you?” He asked derisively, his tone making it clear that he thought it was beneath them.

            “Guillaume, I’m Canadian. Of course I’ve ice skated – and I love it.” She stated defiantly. “Will you skate with me, or are you too afraid to try something new?” She knew she was being a bit rude, but couldn’t bring herself to care. She had been feeling so discontented lately and was taking it out on him a little bit.

            “If you insist, my dear.” Tessa was pleasantly surprised at his willingness, however begrudgingly he said it.

            There was a little shack where they could rent skates, and Tessa taught him how to tie his properly. Once ready, they stepped out onto the ice. 

            It was an unmitigated disaster. He was absolutely terrible, and Tessa couldn’t seem to resist laughing whenever he fell. He made such a funny face of horror and shock every time it happened – as if the ice had personally offended him. It was too ridiculous. But Guillaume didn’t see the humor in it, he quit after only a few minutes.

            "Like I said, completely childish. I can't believe you engage in such unladylike behavior."

            "You're only upset because you can't do it." Tessa argued back. 

            "I think I should take you home now." The carriage ride home was full of icy silence and when they arrived he dropped her off at her door with barely so much as a farewell.   

 

            “Tessa, can I speak to you for a moment?” Aunt Beatrice was standing in the entryway as Tessa walked inside. She shook off the snow from her coat, apprehensive about what her aunt wanted to discuss.

             She followed Aunt Beatrice into her private sitting room. “What is it?”

             “I couldn’t help but notice that Guillaume was upset tonight. He seems to be upset a lot recently.” She raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting an explanation.

             “He can’t skate!” Tessa hadn’t meant to say that at all, but the words burst out of her anyway.

              Aunt Beatrice couldn’t have looked more surprised if Tessa had said he had grown a third leg. “What do you mean? What does that have to do with anything?”

             “It doesn’t. It’s nothing.” Tessa tried to backtrack. In truth, she wasn’t completely sure why it mattered so much to her.

             “Tessa, you are driving him away with this behavior. Why?” She gestured for Tessa to sit down next to her on the sofa, which she did – scrambling to find an explanation. Something that her aunt would accept, not just a vague " _He makes me want to strangle him._ " Which is how she was feeling. 

             Hesitating, she finally said, “I just… Aunt Bea, can I ask you a personal question?”

            “Of course dear. You can ask me anything.” She gave her an encouraging smile, and so Tessa took the plunge and asked the question that she had been obsessing over lately.

            “How do you know if you’re in love?”

            Aunt Beatrice smiled softly at her. “Do you think that you’re in love?”

            Tessa contemplated the question for a moment. “I… don’t know.”

            “It’s simple, really. Do you miss him when he’s not there? Do you brighten every time he enters the room? Does he make you want to be the best version of yourself that you can be – and do you want to do the same for him? Ask yourself those questions.” She considered for a moment, then continued, “And does he strike passion in your heart? That will signify romantic love over friendly love.”

            Tessa sat quietly thinking about what she said.

            “Do you think you feel that way about Guillaume?” Her aunt prodded.

            “I think I could, maybe, if he would stop being so… formal.” Tessa confessed, cheeks pink. She hoped her aunt didn’t think she was being childish.

            “I understand, dear. Having a partner that can make you laugh is important. Heaven knows life is hard enough without being serious all the time. But you’re still young, I’m sure with time Guillaume will relax and the two of you will find happiness. It is my dearest wish for you to have a partner who adores you and that you love in return.”

            Tessa decided to be honest. “I thought I was in love, once... I can’t help but compare this relationship to that one.”       

            Aunt Beatrice smiled knowingly. “Yes, I remember your mother telling me. A boy who worked at Ilderton, correct?”

            Tessa looked at her in surprise. “You knew about him?”

            Beatrice laughed, “Tessa, parents are not so blind as children think. I know the two of you were very close, just as I know he stopped writing to you last year. I understand it can be hard to let that go, but you can’t compare every relationship to that one. Especially when one is an adult relationship.”

            Tessa nodded slowly.

            “Guillaume will probably propose soon, if you didn’t wound his pride too severely today. You should probably make up your mind about him before then.” Aunt Beatrice cautioned with a pat on Tessa's knee. Tessa nodded and then bid her goodnight. 

            Once the lights were out and she was safe under the covers, she allowed herself to contemplate what her aunt had said.

            Does she miss Guillaume when he is not there? Had she ever missed him? She didn’t think so. Did her make her brighten or want to be better? Not particularly. Mostly he made her want to be ridiculous and provoke him into breaking his stiff, gentlemanly exterior. And as for passion, well, that had been a lost cause from the beginning. She had felt a fluttering in her stomach a few times in his presence, but never any fire or desire for him to do any more than kiss her. She had  _never_ wanted him to do anything more than that, and recoiled from him whenever he tried.

            But, despite all this, sometimes she caught a glimpse of a man who could be fun, who could laugh and be carefree, and it was the hope that maybe that man would someday appear that encouraged her to continue the relationship.

            If he proposed tomorrow, what would she say? She had a feeling she wouldn’t know until it actually happened.

 

* * *

 

 

            Scott was busy that winter traveling to various horse auctions and estates for Mr. Virtue, looking for the next best horse to buy. At the moment he found himself in the city of Detroit, far from home.

            He was there to meet a Mr. Charles White who owned a horse farm and training facility. One of the new jobs that Patch had given him as he was older was traveling to other horse facilities and finding the best ones to buy for Mr. Virtue. It was Patch's job for a long time, but now that he had children he didn't like to be away from home. Scott was the only person Patch trusted to do the job right, and Scott understood the weight and seriousness of the responsibility.

            “Good afternoon, Mr. Moir. Sorry to have kept you waiting.” A man with curly blonde hair and a big smile greeted him in the barn office.

            Scott genuinely liked Mr. White, or Charlie, as he was told to call him. He was given a tour of the facilities and shown the horses that were for sale. He found that he and Charlie had similar thoughts on the proper way to gentle and train horses.

            They got along so well that Charlie invited him for a pint at the local bar.

            “I like you, Scott. You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and know what you’re doing. Have you ever given any thought to leaving Ilderton Manor?”

            Scott nearly choked. He hadn’t been expecting that at all. “No… I can’t say that I have.”

            “You should. I would love to have you come work for me. I could use a skilled stable master like yourself.”

            Scott thought of Patch, who had been carefully training him for so long to someday take over when he retired. He thought of Marie and she and Patch’s two children, who were practically his nephews. Chiddy and his blossoming romance with Elizabeth Cooper. He refused to think of Tessa.

            “I don’t think I’m prepared to leave Ilderton right now.” He hesitantly replied.

            “Understandable. I appreciate loyalty. But if you’re ever unhappy there or want to try your hand at something new, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.”

 

            Scott thought about it on the train ride home. He couldn’t deny that the prospect was enticing. He loved Ilderton and always would, but it had been feeling less like home lately and more like a reminder of what he had lost.

            He had been honest when he said he wasn’t prepared to leave it yet, but maybe someday… someday he might.

 


	18. Chapter 17: Good Kisser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters tonight! :)

**Chapter 17: Good Kisser**

 

            The morning of June 2nd, 1902 dawned with a flurry of activity. The day of Kaitlyn’s wedding to Andrew had finally arrived. He had fulfilled his parent’s request to spend time working at his father’s company before marrying, and now the happy day was here.

            Kaitlyn’s parents had wanted her to be married back home in Texas, but she insisted that they had fallen in love in Paris and there their life would be built – it was only right that it was there that they were married.

            She asked Tessa to be her maid of honor, of course, and the other girls were to be bridesmaids. The weather was perfect, the ceremony was beautiful, and many tears were shed. For Tessa it was a bittersweet moment. She was thrilled beyond measure for her best friend, but sorry to see the end of an era. She knew things would be irrevocably different now.

            Guillaume had accompanied her, as everyone had expected, and stayed close to her side throughout the ceremony and then reception, which was being held at Andrew’s parent’s estate.

            “It’s a splendid thing, you know.” He began when they had a moment alone.

            “What is?” She was only partially paying attention to him, mostly thinking about how happy Kaitlyn looked and wondering what that would be like – to feel such joy because of a single person. At the prospect of being with that person forever.

            “Weddings. Marriage.” Tessa’s blood ran cold. Guillaume had been making comments like this more and more frequently, and she never knew what to say in return.

            “Yes, I suppose it is.” She avoided looking at him, but he made that difficult when he took her by the arm.

            “Tessa…” He began, but she cut him off by clearing her throat.

            “You know, the heat is a bit overwhelming. I think I’m going to get a drink.” She turned quickly and walked away from him, relieved when he didn’t follow her and was instead pulled into conversation by Gabriella – who still persisted after all these years in her attempts to get him to notice her.

            She saw Aunt Beatrice watching her from a few feet away – her sharp eyes missed nothing. There was chilled lemonade being served in the shade of a large umbrella on the veranda, where many people were also enjoying the refreshments. Tessa grabbed a glass and sipped on it slowly, enjoying the chill as it went down her throat. She tried not to think of Guillaume and the implications of what he had been about to say.

            This had been her great struggle over the last year – never certain of her feelings for him, she had been one foot in, one foot out the whole time. She could tell that her days of remaining uncommitted were rapidly coming to a close.

            “Tessa.” Her aunt came to stand beside her in the shade. “How long are you going to keep this up?”

            “I don’t know what you mean, Aunt.”

            “Don’t.” She chastised. “You and I both know what I’m referring to.”

            Tessa sighed, “I’m just not sure there’s any passion with him. He’s nice and he’s certainly a gentleman, but I look at Kaitlyn and she is so happy with Andrew – and I can’t help but think that I’ve never felt happiness like that with Guillaume.”

            “But you have felt that happiness and passion with someone else?” Aunt Beatrice never missed anything.

            “No.” Tessa was quick to deny, but Aunt Beatrice merely raised an eyebrow and sipped her lemonade.

            “I can’t tell you what you should do, Tessa. It’s your life, only you can decide what will make you happy. But I will say that after two years of knowing him – of knowing his intentions -  it’s time to make a decision, whatever it may be.”

            Tessa nodded, she knew her aunt was right.

 

            Guillaume found her not long after. “Take a walk with me.”

            She let him lead her off the main lawn and into a more secluded garden. He turned to face her, taking both of her hands in his. The look on his face was one of earnest determination, and Tessa’s stomach sank.

            “Tessa, you must know how much I care for you. I love you. You make my heart so happy and nothing would please me more than to spend my life making you happy in return.” Tessa’s heart had begun beating wildly in her chest and she felt a little panicky, and she couldn't help but notice that something in his voice sounded false. “I want you to be my friend, my lifelong dance partner, my wife.”

            She felt the blood drain from her face as he knelt down before her – the _wrongness_ of it all striking her suddenly and left her feeling like she was suffocating.

            “Tessa Virtue, will you marry me?” He held out an open box with an elaborate diamond ring inside – gaudy and ugly, if she was being honest - looking up at her with hope in his eyes and the confidence of a man who was certain he would be accepted.

            In that instant Tessa knew what her heart had been trying to tell her for the past two years. Any doubt she had was gone and resolve filled her and gave her the strength to say what she should have said back when this whole affair began.

            “Guillaume, I’m flattered, and I do care for you, but I can’t marry you.”

            He stood up quickly, his eyes flashing with anger. “I don’t understand.”

            “I shouldn’t have let this go on so long. I don’t love you in that way. I’m sorry if I lead you believe that I did.”

            “ _Lead_ me to believe? Tessa, we have been courting for two years. _Two years!_ And now you say you do not love me. Surely you knew of my intentions from the start.” He was shaking now, and Tessa felt a shiver of fear.

            “Sometimes it takes time to learn what is truly in our heart. I have been a slow learner. I’m sorry, truly, for the pain I have caused you.”

            His knuckled went white as his hands curled into fists for a brief moment before he relaxed. “I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding. I’ll leave you to come to your senses and call on you later this week.”

            Tessa opened her mouth to reply and assure him that it was _not_ a misunderstanding, but he had already walked away.

 

            “Tessa! Here you are!” Kaitlyn came over to where she sat, still in the garden. She came to an abrupt stop in front of her, immediately noticing her demeanor. “What has happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

            “Guillaume proposed.” Tessa stated bluntly.

            “Oh, that’s…” Kaitlyn started out excitedly, but quickly took in Tessa’s facial expression. “You’ve refused him.”

            “Yes.” Tessa saw no point in denying it. She hadn’t wavered in her decision.

            “Oh, Tess. _Why?_ ” Kaitlyn sat down next to her on the bench, placing her hand sympathetically on Tessa’s knee.

            “You know the way you feel about Andrew?” Tessa asked and Kaitlyn nodded. “I want that for myself. I want someone who understands me and makes me feel free to be myself. I want… a good kisser. A man who makes me feel passion like you feel with Andrew.”

            “I understand.” And Tessa could see that Kaitlyn did understand, and felt no judgment. “I hope you find it someday. I’m sorry it couldn’t be with Guillaume.”

            Tessa wasn’t sorry though. He wasn’t right for her – it just took her a long time to see it. She’d spent too much time listening to what her aunt and parent’s thought was right for her and not enough listening to her own heart.

            “I came to tell you that Andrew and I are about to leave for our honeymoon. Will you come see us off?” She smiled kindly, taking Tessa’s hand.

            “Of course.” Tessa squeezed it back and followed her.

 

            Later that night she informed her aunt of her decision. Aunt Beatrice was disappointed, but not surprised. To be honest, she had been surprised at how long Tessa let the relationship continue – even despite all the hopes that it would work out happily.

            “I fear he will not let this go so easily.” Tessa confessed.

            “Well, then you must take a vacation. Emile has a business trip to Marseille and will be staying with our son Henri. I think you should go with him.”

            And so it was decided, and Tessa had never been more grateful for her aunt than she was at that moment.

 

            Marseille was just the change that Tessa needed. It was a beautiful town, and the Mediterranean ocean brought a sense of serenity that she loved. She enjoyed the leisurely afternoons spent sitting out on the veranda of her cousin Henri’s house, sipping lemonade or eating ice cream and mostly succeeding at not thinking of failed relationships.

            “Tessa, I feel that I should tell you something.” Uncle Emile sat down next to her, handing her a piece of chocolate as he did so – no matter where they were he always seemed to have some handy. “Nothing solves life’s problems like a good piece of chocolate” He always said.

            “What is it, Uncle?” Tessa felt a little apprehensive. She didn’t normally have serious discussions with Uncle Emile.

            “I know Beatrice and your parents are disappointed that you refused Guillaume’s proposal, but I am not.”

            The surprised was clearly evident on Tessa’s face, making Uncle Emile chuckle. “I know I always supported the match, but that was for Beatrice’s sake and because I thought you were happy. But I never felt like he was right for you. The man’s a pompous ninny.”

            Tessa laughed outright. “Oh, Uncle Emile.” She shook her head, softly smiling, “Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, and when she pulled away his cheeks had gone pink.

            “Yes, well, I just wanted you to know.” He waved his hand, dismissing the conversation, and they sat in comfortable silence watching the people moving on the boardwalk below. Tessa felt a rush of affection for Uncle Emile. That had been exactly what she’d needed to hear. To have one person in her family on her side. She could face the rest of them now, even more firm in her decision.

 

_Dear Mama,_

_I am sure that Aunt Beatrice has already written you, but I felt I should inform you myself. Guillaume proposed to me, and I refused him._

_I know that you and father must be very disappointed, but he just wasn’t the right match for me. I only regret that it took me so long to see the truth._

_Uncle Emile has brought me to Marseilles for a few months while he negotiates a few business deals. I already love it here – the sea is beautiful._

_I hope you both are well._

_All my love,_

_Tessa_

            Tessa finished the letter to her mother and then picked up the one she had just received from Paris. She was dreading reading it, so she took it with her down to the beach - hoping the peaceful scenery would keep her from tearing it to shreds. 

_Tessa,_

_I think you going to Marseilles was a good thing. I know that this time apart will bring you to your senses and you will come back to me, ready to do your duty and become my wife._

_I am still willing to marry you, and forgive your stubborn ways, when you are ready to return._

_Sincerely,_

_Guillaume_

She took one look at his letter and made a sound of disgust before throwing it directly into the water. She was already certain in her decision, but his patronizing letter only made her more so. He would have been insufferable as a husband.

            As she sat on the sand watching the waves, she knew with a certainty that she didn’t want to go back to Paris. Maybe… maybe it was finally time to return home.


	19. Chapter 18: Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of their separation! Wahoo!

** Chapter 18: Stay **

 

          Tessa decided to stay in France for the holiday season. It didn’t feel right to leave before then, given how kind Beatrice and Emile had been, and sailing across the Atlantic during winter was less than ideal.

          Guillaume attempted to see her a few times, but with the help of her aunt and uncle she was able to successfully avoid him. Eventually, he seemed to give up and stopped trying, which was a huge relief to Tessa.

          But a chill had taken over Paris that February that seemed unending, and with it came a melancholy that Tessa couldn’t seem to shake. After the warmth of Marseille and the French Riviera, Paris seemed dull and lifeless. What once had been bright and beautiful and full of promise now seemed dismal and overdone. Tessa knew she needed a change. Paris had become a stranger to her now.  
          Beatrice and Emile had noticed the change in their niece, and were growing increasingly concerned.  
          “I think we should write to your brother.” Emile said one evening as they prepared for bed. “Tessa is no longer happy here, and it becomes more obvious with each passing day. I don’t like it.”

          “I agree. The poor girl is miserable.” Beatrice replied sadly. She had so wished for a different outcome when she took her niece in under her wing. They had all hoped that she would be married by now. “I’ll write James tomorrow. I think it’s time for her to go home.” 

           One afternoon a week or so later, Tessa arrived home from seeing a showing of Le Voyage dans la Lune by Georges Méliès, surprised to find a letter waiting for her from Patrick Chan. Their correspondence had dwindled in the last few months, as Tessa’s melancholy prevented her from finding the motivation to write anyone back home, even her own parents.  
          She rushed upstairs immediately to read it.

  
_Dear Tessa,_

  
_I don’t know what happened between you and Scott to cause this long silence - I’m sure_   
_whatever it is was Scott’s fault. But he’s a mess, Tessa. Frankly, he’s been a mess for a while now. I think you balanced him out, and without you he’s like a ship lost at sea. He’s about to make a big mistake – he doesn’t think so, but I know he is._

_A Mr. White from Detroit, Michigan has offered him a job training and caring for his race horses, and Scott is seriously considering_   
_accepting it._   
_If you are ever going to come home, now would be the time to do it._

_Sincerely,_   
_Chiddy_

  
          Tessa’s heart started beating wildly. Michigan!? Scott couldn’t go to Michigan. If he did she might truly never see him again. And a future without Scott was unacceptable. She was still mad at him for cutting off contact, but she missed him. She missed Ilderton. That night she spoke to her aunt and uncle.  
           “I’m so grateful for my years here. They’ve been wonderful and I have learned so much, but...”

           “It’s time for you to go home.” Aunt Beatrice cut in with a teary smile. “We know, darling. Your uncle and I already talked about it and we wrote to your parents earlier this week. Preparations can be made tomorrow.”

          Tessa could have jumped for joy. The first genuinely happy smile in months spread across her face and she jumped into her aunt’s arms. “Oh thank you, Aunt Beatrice. Thank you.”

          The next morning she rushed to the post office and sent off a telegram. The sun had broken through the endless grey clouds, and Tessa felt hope again.

 

* * *

  
           Patrick Chan rose early in the morning to prepare for class like he always did. Meticulously getting dressed and doing his hair before eating a simple breakfast. He had found his calling in teaching at the local school, and looked forward to each day with a  relish. This morning broke routine, however, when a knock sounded at the door.      

          Bewildered, Chiddy opened it – still wearing some shaving cream on his chin.  
          “Mr. Patrick Chan?” A boy in a postal suit asked.  
          “Yes?”  
          “Telegram for you, sir.” The boy handed him the small envelope, nodded, and left.  
           Chiddy closed the door in a stupefied silence. He’d never received a telegram in his life. He slipped his finger under the tab and opened it.

The message inside was simple.  
“Chiddy. I’m on my way.”

           A grin broke out wide on his face. “Tessa.” He breathed. She’d gotten his letter.

           News this good couldn’t wait. He skipped the rest of his morning routine and hopped on his bicycle and headed straight for the Ilderton stables.  
           He marched in and was pleased to see Patch near the door.  
           “What’s got you grinning like a Cheshire cat?” Patch asked curiously, surprised to see Chiddy there – especially so early in the morning.

          “You’ll never guess.” He held out the telegram to Patch, who read over it quickly.

          “I don’t understand. Who sent it?”

          “Tessa. She’s coming home!”

  
           From behind them there was a loud crash. Spinning around, both men saw Scott standing there in shock, a bucket full of water dropped at his feet.

           “What do you mean she’s coming home?” He demanded. 

           “See for yourself.” Chiddy handed him the paper with a soft smile. Scott stared at it uncomprehending.

            “You’re sure that this is from her?” He seemed unwilling to believe that after five years Tessa was finally coming back from Paris.

           “Who else would send me a telegram and call me that?” Chiddy laughed. “I wrote to her last week and asked when she was coming home. I guess that was all it took.” He teased gently, overjoyed that Tessa had listened to his plea.  
           Scott walked over to the nearest surface and sat down – saying nothing.

           “I’ve got to get to work. I just thought you would all want to know the good news.” Chiddy bid farewell and got back on his bike. His day was infinitely better now, and he was smiling the entire ride to the schoolhouse.

           Meanwhile, Scott’s world had flipped upside down. He had been just about to write to Charlie White and tell him he wanted the job in Detroit. He had the letter half-written upstairs on his desk, in fact. Now what was he supposed to do?  
           Did he wait for Tessa to come home – did he dare see what kind of reunion she granted him? Was she coming home because she was married and wanted the man to meet her family? Last he had heard she was engaged, but he’d never heard anything more, and the Virtues had never gone to France. Surely they would have, if there had been a wedding. But what if he waited only to find out that she was bringing her fiancé home to marry him here?  
          So then, did he leave now, never to know what could be? What she looked like now, sounded like, acted like?

          No. He couldn’t. This was Tessa and he had to know. Whatever happened, he had to see her again.

           “Are you alright, Scott?” Patch asked him gently – knowing what this must mean to the young man.

           “Yes. Just give me a moment.”

            Patch nodded, but couldn’t resist asking, “What will you do now?”

  
            Scott looked up at him, knowing there was only one choice, “I’m going to stay.”


	20. Chapter 19: Somebody that I used to Know

**Chapter 19: Somebody that I used to Know**

           Tessa bid farewell to her aunt and uncle in the coastal town of Cherbourg, 356 kilometers from Paris. They had taken the train and spent a few days together at the seaside, before Tessa boarded the twin-screw passenger steamship _Baltic_ to New York City. They sent a footman with her, for protection and because “a lady never travels alone” – even though Tessa protested.

            The ship was the largest of its kind, and her uncle had paid for first-class passage, making it as comfortable of a journey as possible, but Tessa found the novelty of being at sea quickly wore off.

            From New York City it was a succession of train rides that left her exhausted before she finally pulled into the Toronto station, where her parents were waiting on the platform with loving smiles and open arms. She had never seen a lovelier sight.

           “It’s so good to have you home, Tessa.” Her mother, who never cried in public, had tears on her cheeks. Tessa’s own eyes felt damp.

           “It’s so good to finally be back. I’ve missed you both so much.”

           "You’ve grown so much. We hardly recognized you.” Her father wrapped her in a warm embrace. “You’re quite the young woman.”

           “Five years can do that to a person.” Tessa replied, unable to completely hide the resentment in her voice.

           “You’ve changed only for the better.” Her mother nodded resolutely.

            The ride home was comfortable. Tessa held her mother’s hand and told them about her journey – though she felt herself nodding off a few times - she was more exhausted than she had expected. The sight of Ilderton Manor through the trees as they ascended the drive, lit by that night’s sunset – shades of pink, orange, and purple – was majestic and boosted her spirits even higher.

            Home. She was finally _home_.

 

            If she was disappointed that there was no one else waiting outside the house to greet her when she arrived, she hid it well. Although she couldn’t resist glancing at the stables. She noticed the light upstairs in Scott’s apartment was lit, but she couldn’t see him through the windows.

            “No matter.” She thought, she would find him soon enough. It could wait until she’d had some sleep and didn’t look so frightful. She desperately wanted to make a good impression after all these years apart.  

 

             The next day at church service with her parents everyone told her she had changed so much and praised her style and her French, which made Tessa feel more like an exhibit than a person. London had not changed at all. At least, so it seemed at first, but as Tessa sat in the familiar congregation and looked over the room she saw several little changes which, all coming to her at once, made her realize that time did not quite stand still, even in London.

            A new minister was in the pulpit. In the pews more than one familiar face was missing forever, and many of the young faces were brand new. Tessa was relieved to see Patrick sitting near the back. It had been so long and she had sorely neglected their correspondence in the last few years. She was gratified when he returned her smile, no hint of resentment in his eyes.

            “Why, Tessa, I hardly recognized you.” He said, taking her hand warmly in his after services had ended. “You look so grown up.”

            “You’re one to talk – standing there so handsome in your nice suit. Life seems to be treating you well.” She took in his tailored suit, not the highest quality, but sturdy and well-fitting. She was pleased that he seemed to be making a good life for himself.

            “Teaching suits me, I think. I really enjoy working at the school.”

            “I’m so glad. You weren’t taking full advantage of your talents working in our stables.”

            “I enjoyed the time I spent there, but you’re right – it was never going to be my career.”

            “And how about your love life? Is there a special young lady these days?” Tessa couldn’t resist teasing him a little, satisfied when she caught him blushing.

            “There might be. I’ll introduce you sometime.”

            “Good. Any girl whose caught your eye must be worth knowing.”

            “What about you? Last we heard you were engaged.”

            Tessa was surprised to hear that. It was amazing how gossip could spread – even from another country. “Oh, no. There was someone, but it wasn’t serious.”

            “Good.” He smirked at her. “Have you seen Scott yet? I know he’s been eagerly awaiting your return.”

            Tessa felt his question like a punch in the gut, but kept the smile on her face. “No, not yet. But I only arrived yesterday, and I’m sure he’s been busy.”

            “Really? Your homecoming has been the only thing he could think about for weeks. He’s probably just being an idiot and doesn’t know how to say hello after all these years.”

            Brightening at that, Tessa’s smile became a little more genuine again. “I hope you’re right.”

           

            When Tessa and her parents returned to the house she hurried upstairs to change into more comfortable clothes, anxious to get out to the stables and test Chiddy’s theory. Maybe Scott was just as nervous as she was.

            She was grateful that her parents didn’t see her leave the house – she knew they would have asked too many questions. Tessa walked towards the stables, her steps slowing the closer she got, her stomach filling with an odd mix of anticipation and dread. Her path was intercepted by Patch and she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “Patch!” She said happily, greeting him with a hug that would probably scandalize her mother. But Patch had always been like an uncle to her.

            “It’s good to have you home, Tessa. Marie and I are so happy to have you back.”

            “Thank you. It’s been far too long.”

            “We want you to come for dinner sometime this week. I’d love to introduce you to our newest stable boy.” He said with a wink.

            “I can hardly believe you and Marie have another baby and I haven’t even had a chance to meet the first one yet.”

            “They are a handful, but also our joy. Will you come? How about Thursday?”

            “Of course I will. Thursday will be perfect – my schedule is quite free.”

            “Excellent. I’ll let Marie know. Now, I expect you were looking for someone else when you came down here.” He said with a knowing smile. Tessa couldn’t help but blush and avoid his gaze.

            “Is he here?”

            “Yes, he’s brushing one of the horses. I’ll leave you two to catch up.”

            Tessa watched Patch walk down the lane to where he had a small home with Marie and steeled herself for whatever she might find through the stable doors.

            Walking in she had to pause to let her eyes adjust to the dimmer light before she saw Scott. His back was to her, giving her the chance to look him over undetected. He was taller, broader, more muscular, but she wasn’t too surprised by that – he was, after-all, twenty-two now, not seventeen. It was his hair that was the biggest shock. Scott had always kept his hair neat and short when they were growing up, but now it was long – looking full and thick with a slight curl to it.

            “You’ve let your hair grow out.” Tessa could have slapped herself. She couldn’t believe that after five years that was the first thing she said to him. He froze in the middle of his brushstroke, then slowly turned around.

            “Tess…” He whispered, and her skin started to tingle as he looked at her, taking her in. He was looking at her like she was an oasis in the desert and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

            “I like it. It’s kind of wild.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud either, and her cheeks turned pink, but Scott just smiled at her.

            “It’s been a long time, kiddo. Things change.” He set the brush down and walked towards her, stopping a few feet away.

            “Not the important things.” Tessa replied hopefully.

            Just then Tessa heard the housekeeper calling out for her, which she knew meant that her mother wanted her and wouldn’t be kept waiting. “I have to go,” The regret in her tone unmistakable, “But I’m having dinner at Patch’s house on Thursday night. Will you join us?”

            Scott nodded and a piece of his hair fell in front of his forehead. She wanted to reach up and push it back, but held her hand still. It was amazing how much she felt like a fifteen year old again. “I’ll come, if you want me to.”

            “Of course I do. I’ll see you there.” They stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of each other. With another smile Tessa turned, “Bye, Scott” and walked back to the house.

            Chiddy must have been right – it was just nerves. Everything was going to be alright.

 

* * *

 

 

 

            That Thursday Tessa told her parents about the dinner at Patrice’s house, knowing that they wouldn’t mind. Her father greatly respected Mr. Lauzon.

            “Give Marie our best, won’t you dear? And her sweet babies.” Her mother was saying as she prepared to leave that evening.

            “I will, mother.” Tessa hoped her parents couldn’t sense her nervousness. All day she’d been jumpy and full of anxious anticipation – worried that Scott wouldn’t come tonight.

            “Dress warm, the nights are still chilly.” Her father said  from where he was sitting in his favorite armchair reading the paper.

            “I will.”

 

            She couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. The walk down to Patch’s house didn’t take long, but she was disappointed not to come across Scott on the way. She half-convinced herself that it was a sign he wasn’t coming.

            “Of course he’s not coming,” she grumbled to herself, “It’s been five years and he doesn’t care about you anymore. Probably has a million other things to do.”

            She reached Patch’s house and he pulled the door wide open before she had a chance to knock. “Tessa! Fantastic!” Patch opened the door wide and ushered her into the hallway. “Marie and Scott are in the living room with the children. Come, come.” Relief washed over Tessa like a wave. Scott was there.

            Tessa adored Frank and Stephen. The little boys were rosy-cheeked and full of laughter and she found herself soaking in the warmth of the happy family and the home they had created. The four of them fell into talking like it was old times and Tessa enjoyed answering Patch and Marie’s questions about France, grateful that they never asked about any beaus.

            She found herself gazing repeatedly at Scott without realizing it, a little shocked to discover just how much she wanted to run her fingers through his thick hair. She kept having to shake herself out of it, and hoped no one noticed. Although judging by the looks Marie kept giving her, she didn’t think she was being very successful.

            She couldn’t help it though. Scott had changed and it seemed to be all for the better. He held himself so confidently now, and he seemed so grown up, but he was still laughing and joking like when they were children. If Tessa had ever convinced herself she didn’t have feelings for him anymore, it certainly was no longer working.

 

            After dinner Scott offered to walk her home and once she had bid farewell and made promises to come again soon, they set off in the fading twilight towards the house.

            “This was a wonderful evening.” Tessa said after a moment, breaking the companionable silence.

            “Yeah, just like old times.” Scott replied quietly. She glanced at him and was surprised at the sudden flash of anger she felt. As happy as she was to see him, and she was – _joyous_ – she still felt resentment over his lack of communication. She hadn’t heard from him in two and half years, and now she wanted to know why.

            “Why did you stop writing, Scott?”

            His face immediately became closed off. “You were making a new life in Paris. I thought it would be best if I stopped distracting you.”

            “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Tessa stopped in the middle of the path.

            “Is it? Because it seemed like you were moving on.”

            “What are you talking about? I never said that.”

            “No. You kept secrets and I had to hear about it from other people instead.” He looked at her accusingly, and she was taken aback.

            “I didn’t think you’d want to hear about boys or balls or things like that. But I wrote you about everything else.” Tessa felt defensive. She may have _omitted_ information, but she never lied to him. She certainly hadn’t moved on, like he seemed to be convinced she had.

            “It wasn’t about there being other boys. That doesn’t matter to me,” Scott said, “I met other girls too. What matters is that you didn’t tell me about it.”

            Tessa felt like she’d been slapped. In all her years away she had never really considered, never let herself consider, that Scott might be meeting and spending time with other girls. Who had he been seeing? When and for how long? Was he courting someone right now and she didn’t know? She knew it was hypocritical of her, but she had always naively assumed that Scott would never be interested in anyone else.

            “Well I’m sorry not to have heard about all the women in your life.” She bit out. “But it sounds like what really happened is that you became too _busy_ to ever think of me, let alone continue writing me.”

            “Tess, that’s not what…” But she cut him off.

            “Maybe things do change. People change. I’ve grown up, and so have you.” She turned to storm off, but Scott reached out quickly and grabbed her arm, sending shivers up her spine. Heat radiated from where he touched her – much to her annoyance.

            “Wait, Tess…”

            “Excuse me, Mr. Moir. I have letters to write to my Parisian _friends_.” Purposely emphasizing the last word in an attempt to hurt him like he’d hurt her.

            He let go like he’d been burned. “Fine.” He marched off to the stables without looking back at her, and Tessa barely made it to her room before the tears began to fall.

            She threw herself down on her bed in frustration. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go at all. She was supposed to come home, Scott would apologize, and they would go back to normal – or maybe even more than that. She had let herself fantasize the entire journey home about him running out to greet her – maybe even kissing her. Never about them fighting less than a week into her return.

Frankly, Tessa would have been satisfied with coming home and just being his friend again (or at least, that’s what she tried to convince herself). This was a disaster that she didn’t know how to fix.

 

* * *

 

            Scott laid awake, unable to fall asleep. He wasn’t sure how things had gone so wrong so quickly. They had been having such a nice evening – nice enough that he thought maybe she had forgiven him and they could move forward now.

            Whatever Chiddy might say, Scott wasn’t an idiot. He knew she had every reason to be mad – to never speak to him again. But when she turned up at the stables on Sunday, stuttering about his hair and looking so happy to see him, he had felt hope again like he hadn’t felt in almost three years.

            And then he’d gone and lied about not caring about her seeing other boys and stupidly attempted to make her jealous over his own exploits. He rolled over and punched his pillow. This whole situation was precarious and he had no idea how to proceed.

            If he was being honest, he’d been totally thrown by the sight of her and it had messed with his brain. She was tall and so, so beautiful. And so grown up. The way she dressed, how her hair was perfectly styled – not a bit out of place. She was so unlike the Tessa of five years ago that he didn’t know how to treat her.

            Was she even the same girl? Or was his Tessa lost forever – replaced by this poised and perfect adult woman to whom he could never relate?

            He had no answer to his own question, and didn’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning.


	21. Chapter 20: Hallelujah

**Chapter 20: Hallelujah**

 

            Somehow, weeks were passing by and Tessa had not reconciled with Scott. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to – she desperately did – but she wasn’t sure how to approach him. Every time she tried to orchestrate a chance to see him, he either avoided her, or she was pulled off in another direction by some sort of social obligation.

            Her mother had had her traipsing all around town making house calls and setting up social appointments. It was beginning to be exhausting. She felt like she never had a moment to herself.

            “You’ve been away for five years, Tessa, this is expected. People want to see you and it’s important to rekindle and maintain friendships, especially with neighbors.”

            Tessa found it easier to just go along with what her mother wanted instead of to argue with her. It wasn’t as if she really minded visiting with people, it was just that none of these people were who she really wanted to see.

            She could feel herself slipping into that old melancholy from Paris – that feeling of being stuck going down a path she didn’t choose nor want. She caught her parents giving her concerned looks every once in a while, but then she would smile at them and the looks would disappear, so she thought maybe she was doing an adequate job of keeping them in the dark about the cause of her sadness.

            “Have you been out to the stables, yet?” Her mother asked one afternoon, and Tessa nearly choked on her tea.

            After a moment she regained her composure and answered, “Yes, a few times to go riding or visit Patch.”           

            “And have you spoken to Scott?” Her mother fixed her with a knowing look – never one to be swayed from getting the information she wanted.

            “Yes. We’ve said hello.” Tessa downplayed it as much as she could – after five years of schooling she was much better at keeping her face neutral.

            “No… _rekindling_ of your friendship?” Her mother pushed.

            “No. No friendship.” Tessa stated, her throat suddenly tight. If only that was a lie, but it was heart wrenchingly all too true right now.

 

* * *

 

 

            Scott watched Tessa from a distance as she walked through the gardens with Meagan Duhamel, a childhood schoolmate whose father worked with Mr. Virtue. The way the sun was hitting her hair and her laughter kept cutting through the trees was distracting him. Every time he heard her his heart thumped painfully and stopped him from being able to focus on his work.

            The distance between them felt wider now than the Atlantic ocean that had preceded it. To have her home – so close – and yet so far, was driving him slowly insane.

            “Why don’t you just talk to her?” Patch asked in exasperation, making Scott jump.

            “She made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want to talk to me.” He grumbled back, turning away from where she was.

            “Don’t be ridiculous. She comes home after five years, still single, anxious to see you, and you think she doesn’t want to talk? You’ve had fights before, what makes this one any different?”

            “She’s changed, Patch. I’m just not sure she’s the same Tessa that I…”

            “That you love.” Patch sounded so sure, but Scott stiffened, “that I knew before.” He finished and Patch snorted.

            “Figure out what you want, Scott, and then let her know. Before it’s too late.”

            Scott turned to look at Tessa again as Patch walked away. He paid close attention to the way she walked – so much more graceful and confident now. The way her hair was done and her carefully controlled expressions. He couldn’t find any sign of the carefree girl he had known, and that made him nervous. What if Paris had changed her too much and she could no longer be satisfied with Scott, who had hardly traveled and didn’t have very much by way of worldly goods to offer her?

            She and Meagan turned then, and Tessa happened to look up and catch his eye. She gave him a small smile, but Scott couldn’t bring himself to return it. He turned and walked back inside. 

 

* * *

 

 

            Tessa awoke before the dawn, which was unusual for her. Normally she loved to sleep in as long as possible. This morning though, it seemed as if her brain was wide awake and racing a mile a minute. She knew sleep wouldn’t be returning any time soon.

            She walked to her window and stared out over the grounds, and felt an urge to escape. It scared her – if she couldn’t be happy in Paris, and she couldn’t be happy at Ilderton, then could she be happy anywhere?

            Decision made, she dressed quickly and slipped outside. Walking alone before dawn would be a punishable offense to her mother, but Tessa didn’t care. She had been doing what everyone else wanted for so long, she had to take this moment for herself.

            She found herself wandering down to the lake that she had skated on so many times as a child. The early dawn shone a ribbon of light across the water. A light wind blew, and she wrapped her jacket more tightly around herself. She walked toward the water and leaned down to touch it – dragging her fingers through the wet sand and enjoying the feeling.

            Then she stood with her head tipped back and looked at the moon, still faintly visible, and the vast sky stretching out over the trees. This serenity, this solitude, this was what her soul had needed to help ease the frustration of the last few weeks, and if she was being honest, the last few years.

            A splashing sound caught her attention. She stepped forward, then back in alarm. Something was in the water. Coming toward her. Something large enough to make those splashes. The _something_ stopped splashing and emerged, beginning to walk toward her, but clearly not seeing her yet.

            “Good morning.” Tessa called out – the shape looked vaguely familiar and she wondered if it might be Patch.

            The man stopped moving and turned to her. “Tessa? Is that you?”

            Her mouth fell open. “Scott?”

            “Yes.”

            He started moving again, and Tessa stammered, “Er…. Are you…. uh…. clothed?”

            A pause met her question. “No.” He said with a laugh.

            Tessa’s face was hot. She spun around so that her back was to the water and called out, “Can you… put some clothes on?”

            She waited, her face on fire, as another low chuckle reached her ears. Then she heard soft splashing and imagined him walking onto the banks of the lake. Or, rather, she tried _not_ to imagine him walking onto the sand without a stitch of clothing on. The seconds stretched on for so long she thought she would die of embarrassment.

            The soft footsteps approached her from behind, and Scott’s voice said, “You can turn around now.”

            She turned around, but was not fully prepared for the sight before her. Tessa’s jaw fell open before she could catch it. Scott had put on his breeches – slung low around his hips – but nothing else. The early morning sunlight glimmered off of his bare chest and shoulders, drops of water clinging to his skin. His skin was smooth and more muscled than she had ever dared to imagine. His muscles went on and on, lean and defined, and he stood there without any self-consciousness.

            “What are you doing out here?” He asked, rubbing his hand through his wet hair.

            Tessa forced her mouth to close, and then tried to swallow. All rational thoughts had flown from her mind, and she could not pull her eyes away from his shoulders, his chest, his…

            “Tess?”

            She pulled her gaze up to his face, but that was no better, which his eyes looking dark as night and his lips…

            “Do you… have a shirt?” She spied a white bundle in his hand. “Is that it? You should put it on.” She was speaking much too fast, and her voice cracked.

            Scott chuckled, a low, sultry sound. “Why? Does this bother you?” He wore a wicked grin and Tessa blushed beet red.

            “No. I only thought you looked cold. Isn’t the water cold” She was still speaking fast, but sounded a little bit more like herself.

            “Don’t worry about me.” He said and did not move to put his shirt on. He did, however, rest his hands on his hips, which only drew Tessa’s attention to how low his breeches were sitting. “What are you doing?” He asked again.

            She pulled her attention back to his face, cursing herself silently for becoming so distracted. “I was out for a walk.”

            His brow furrowed. “A walk. This early in the morning.”

            “Yes.” She replied defiantly. “What were _you_ doing?”

            “I was swimming.” He gestured to the lake like it should be obvious.

            “So… you like to swim. At night. By yourself.” She frowned. “Is this a regular habit of yours now?”

            A half-smile lifted on side of his mouth. “Not exactly.” He took the shirt he held, shook it out, and pulled it over his head. Tessa did not stare at the way his muscles bunched as he did so – at least, she tried not to. She was both relieved and disappointed that he had put it on.

            “So why this morning?” She pressed

            “I felt the need to do something daring. That is all.”

            That was certainly something she could relate to. “Perhaps I should give it a try, too.”  She said it more to herself, but blushed when she realized what it would sound like to Scott. He had been naked, after all. Something she definitely would not be doing.

            Scott let the comment pass, and the air became heavy with words unsaid.

           “I should be getting back, before they notice I’m gone.” Tessa turned to go.

           “Wait, Tess…” Scott called out, and she stopped to look at him.

            “Yes?” She asked – hoping that he would finally apologize and this uncomfortable situation could end. But instead he just looked sad.

           “Nothing. Have a good day.” He walked away to retrieve his shoes, and Tessa marched back up to the house.

 

* * *

 

 

            Scott went back to the stables to dry off and get dressed for work, feeling both light and heavy hearted somehow. Tessa’s reaction to him this morning had certainly been better than he could have dreamed. She was attracted to him. _A lot_. That filled him with warm satisfaction that made his heart soar.

            But his inability to say what he so desperately wanted also made him incredibly angry. Why couldn’t he just confess that he had been a jealous fool and that he missed her and that he wanted to kiss her hard and take her upstairs and…

            “Woah, Scotty.” He muttered to himself. “Don’t even go there.”

 

            The truth was, he was afraid. He was afraid that she might reject him, and also that she _wouldn’t_. Because if she felt the same – if she felt even an ounce of what he did – how could he contain his passion for her? How could they ever stop at being friends and not rapidly become more? And was he ready for more, and would the Virtues ever allow it?

            Scott didn’t have any answers, and he hated not having answers. And so he avoided Tessa, in the hope that she wouldn’t ask him the questions that he could see lurking behind her green eyes.


	22. Chapter 21: Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure where the line is between "mature" and "explicit"... I may have to change the rating as we move along...

**Chapter 21: Dream a Little Dream of Me**

 

             _The cool breeze was blowing in through the open windows of the stables, helping ease the heat of the summer night. Scott enjoyed it for a moment, staring out over the pastures, before heading upstairs to his little apartment. He was anxious for a bath and bed after a long day of hard work._

_When he opened his door, however, he was shocked to see Tessa standing in his room in nothing but her nightdress._

_“What kept you so long?” She was looking up at him under her long eyelashes, hair flowing down her shoulders, looking like a vision._

_“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.” He found himself saying as she walked towards him, hips swaying._

_“You’ll just have to make it up to me.” She whispered, and then she was kissing him. It was better than he had ever imagined. Scott just about passed out when her tongue ran across his lips. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and she jumped up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. His erection pressing up against the heat of her center._

_With a groan Scott walked them towards his bed, clumsily laying her down and covering her body with his. She arched up into him, responsive to his every touch._

_“I want you, Scott.” She was looking up at him with her gorgeous green eyes, lips swollen from his kisses. He’d never been so turned on in his life. Scott kissed his way down her body, untying the laces that held her thin nightgown together, mouth going dry as the thin fabric fell away to reveal her breasts. Small and round and perfect. He took one in his mouth, using his hand to massage the other one. He was delighted at the sounds she was making, little gasps and moans that she couldn’t seem to control._

_Lost in the pleasure of having his mouth on her, he was surprised when she raised her hips and pulled up the hem of her gown. “Please, Scott.” He crawled back up her body and planted a hard kiss on her lips, before reaching down and moving his pants out of the way. He positioned himself at her entrance and then kissed her again softly, “I love you, Tessa.” He whispered, and she looked back at him and smiled the happiest smile he had ever seen, “I love you too, Scott.”_

The sounds of a door slamming somewhere below woke Scott with a jump. His morning erection was pressing insistently against his pants, and Scott was too far gone to resist reaching down and finishing himself off to the thoughts of the dream he’d just had.

            This wasn’t the first time he’d dreamed of Tessa. If he was being honest with himself, the dreams had started over a few years ago and never really gone away. But they had never felt so real before, or been quite so… graphic. Scott thought he should probably feel ashamed – he was sure Tessa would be horrified if she ever found out he’d thought about her that way, but he couldn’t seem to help it. It had been worse ever since their encounter at the lake. She had looked at him so hungrily – something he was sure she didn’t realize she was doing – that it had given new fuel to his fantasies. Something for his subconscious to torture him with.

            He got out of bed and cleaned himself up, splashing cold water on his face and then dressing for the day.

 

* * *

 

 

             Tessa hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d tossed and turned – the restlessness that sometimes plagued her had been in full force last night. She had been trying so hard not to think of Scott since seeing him at the lake that it was starting to invade her dreams. Tessa didn’t know much about the physical aspects of love, other than the basics and things Kaitlyn had whispered about in the dark, but her brain seemed to have enough information to torture her with dreams of Scott. In her dreams he would come to her, shirtless, and let her explore every inch of his torso and run her hands through his hair. She supposed by some standards they might be fairly innocent dreams, but to her they were just about as sensual as she could stand. 

            She needed a distraction that morning, and so she headed down to the stables as the dawn was breaking, hoping that a morning ride would help clear her head and that if she left early enough she could avoid seeing Scott. Certain that merely the sight of him would turn her cheeks red and he would instantly know what had been going on in her head. Thoughts that he would probably find mortifying. She couldn't believe he had ever thought of her like that, however much she might wish he did.  

            It had been a while since she had had to tack up a horse herself, but she was certain she could still remember how. She was just reaching for a saddle when she heard footsteps on the stairs.

            She spun around quickly, surprised to see Scott standing there looking at her with a heat in his eyes that sent a thrill through her while simultaneously sending a flash of warmth between her legs – something she had only ever felt once or twice before, and only with Scott. She found herself turning red despite mentally commanding herself not to react.

            “Good morning.” She managed to say, voice a little higher than normal. Scott visibly shook himself and ran his hand through his hair.

            “Morning.” His voice was deep and scratchy from sleep, and it sent the butterflies in Tessa’s stomach wild. “Sorry I wasn’t down here sooner to help with that.” He nodded towards the saddle she’d been about to lift.

            “Oh… You’ll have to make it up to me later.” Tessa tried to tease him, but instead of him teasing back his cheeks turned curiously pink and he seemed embarrassed and wouldn't look at her. She spun back around, suddenly unsure of herself. She lifted the saddle, but it was heavier than she remembered, causing her to let out a loud huff. When she turned back around, arms awkwardly carrying the saddle, Scott was there reaching out to take it from her. He was so close and looking so rumpled and attractive all at once - when his hands brushed hers as he took the saddle she felt as though she’d been shocked.

            “Here. Let me.” He prepared her horse quick and easy and then turned and lifted her onto it like she weighed nothing.

            “Thank you.” She said, voice cracking a little on the last word.

            “Have a nice ride.” He said, stepping away from the horse. Tessa felt relieved and somewhat disappointed as she left the barn. She’d never felt tension like that in her life and she almost wanted to stay and see what would happen if she let it continue.

 

* * *

 

 

            Tessa sat in the drawing room reading a letter from Kaitlyn, a small smile on her face as she read about her friend’s happiness and everyday life back in Paris with Andrew – and how much she was missed. Tessa didn’t miss Paris at all, but she did desperately long to talk to Kaitlyn face to face and confide in her like they used to.

_Dearest Tess,_

_It's beginning to be summertime in Paris and after the dreary winter we had everyone seems to be celebrating. Andrew and I are adjusting to married life quite nicely, I think. Although we do have the occasional rows over where clothes should be put away and what to have for dinner. I could not be happier, though, to be making my life with him. Your uncle Emile keeps us well stocked with chocolate, which Andrew appreciates immensely. I enjoy it too, although I can't say that it's very good for my figure._

_I'm sorry that returning to Ilderton didn't go quite as you had hoped. I know we never spoke much about Scott, but I hope that the two of you are working out your issues and becoming friends again._

_We have seen Guillaume a few times at various social functions. Lately he has talked of nothing but his outrage at equestrian long jump being no longer an Olympics sport. He acts as though it is a personal affront to him, and Gabriella always seems there to back him up. The two of them have been spending more time together, now that you have moved away, which probably doesn't surprise you. In fact, I'm sure you are relieved to hear it!_

_I shouldn't speak of such things, but I'm just bursting to tell you that Andrew and I are hoping very soon to start our family. I'm overjoyed at the prospect and giddy whenever I think of having my own baby to love and to teach._

_Please write soon and tell me all the latest that is going on with you there._

_Love,_

_Kaitlyn_

            “Is that a letter from your friend, Mrs. Pojé?” Her mother asked from where she was sewing quietly across the room.

            “Yes.” Tessa was only half listening, too absorbed in her letter. Feeling somehow very young as she read of her friends marital bliss and plans to start a family. It felt like she was moving forward while Tessa was staying still. 

            “Are you expecting any other letters from France?”

            Confused, Tessa glanced up, “No?”

            “I had wondered if maybe one of your other _friends_ might try to write to you. Is there any hope of that?”

            Tessa understood what her mother was trying to say, “I don’t expect so, no.” Her voice came out disappointed – she wondered just how long her mother would persist in this belief that she still might marry Guillaume.

            “Pity.” Her mother gave her a sad look, then sighed as she went back to her sewing, and Tessa rolled her eyes.

           

            Later that night, when again she couldn’t sleep, she sat at her window and stared across the courtyard at Scott’s apartment. Did he find it hard to sleep sometimes? Was he dreaming of her? She hoped that he was – it was only fair, since she couldn’t get him out of her head.

            With a weary sigh, she got up and went back to bed – attempting to get some rest.  

 


	23. Chapter 22: Pilgrims on a Long Journey

**Chapter 22: Pilgrims on a Long Journey**

            Scott and Chiddy continued with their weekly Friday night get-togethers, although they had had to find a new pub after Chiddy was thrown out of their regular one. It gave them both a chance to relax, catch up, and maintain their friendship now that they were working in separate places.

            “Ha! Bullseye!” Scott threw his arms up in triumph. “You have to buy the next round.” He grinned a little sloppily at Chiddy – they’d both already had a few drinks. Chiddy groaned, “That was a lucky shot.”

            “Not luck. Pure skill.” Scott grinned. “Now go on.”

            With an exaggerated sigh Chiddy went to the bar and got two more pints of beer. Putting Scott’s down in front of him with a little extra force than necessary.

            “Alright. It’s time for us to talk.” Chiddy said, using his “teacher voice” as Scott called it.

            “Chiddy, we have been talking.” Scott pointed out with a chuckle.

            “No, I mean about Tessa.” Chiddy had been planning this for a while now. He was tired of his two best friends avoiding each other and he wanted to fix it. Getting some liquor in Scott first was the key to loosening him up so that he might listen to what Chiddy had to say.

            Scott leaned back in his chair - visibly closing off at the mention of her name. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

            “Well, tough luck because we have to. I thought when she came back that things might be awkward at first, but it’s summer now – it’s been a couple of months – and you too are as cold as the arctic. What happened?”

            “Nothing happened. We just don’t get along like we used to. People change.”

            “Bullshit.” Chiddy never swore, and Scott’s eyebrows raised in shock to hear his friend speak that way. “People don’t change that much. I’m not blind. I see how you look at her, how she looks at you. You guys would get along fine if you would pull your head out of your ass and see reason.”

            “Okay what is with you tonight?” Scott tried to infuse humor in the conversation - he was very uncomfortable with this line of questioning. “Are you that mad about losing at darts? We can play again. I’ll let you win.”

            Refusing to be swayed, Chiddy pressed on, “I’m just tired of watching my best friends dancing around each other when they could be dancing together instead.”

            “You don’t understand.” Scott sighed into his drink.

            “Then make me understand.” Chiddy demanded. He’d let this gone on far too long and was prepared to force it out of Scott if he had to tonight.

            “She’s different now. We don’t fit together like we used to. It’s awkward and uncomfortable in a way it never has been before and I don’t know how to change it.”

            “Look, I don’t know what you did…”

            “Who says I did anything?” Scott cut in, offended.

            “You’re you, Scott.” Chiddy deadpanned, and Scott would have been genuinely offended then, but he knew it was his fault. “Anyway, my point is that she came back for you and all you’ve done is waste time convincing yourself she doesn’t care about you.”

            “She didn’t come back for me.” Scott protested, unbelieving.

            “Scott, why do you think she came back?” It was clearly a redundant question, and Chiddy didn’t give him time to answer. “I wrote to her and told her you were considering moving to Detroit. She came home almost immediately. You’re an even bigger fool than I think you are if you don’t see that for what it is.”

            Scott was speechless. He hadn’t dared to hope that Tessa coming home had anything to do with him. But Chiddy wasn’t a liar – he had to be telling the truth.

            “I’ve been an idiot.” Scott realized.

            “Yes.” Chiddy agreed, sipping on his beer. “I’m glad we agree.”

            “I should probably talk to her.”

            “That would be a good plan, yes.”

            Suddenly nervous, Scott looked at Chiddy, “What if she won’t talk to me now? I haven’t exactly been a good friend lately.”

            Chiddy gave him a kind smile. “Scott, Tessa has always adored you. Talk to her. Apologize. She’ll forgive you.”

 

            The problem Scott was facing now was that he couldn’t figure out a way to get Tessa alone. He was determined to talk to her – if not to rekindle their friendship, then at least to apologize for being an ass – but she was always so busy.

            Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a ploy by her parents to keep them apart. Mrs. or Mr. Virtue never failed to appear whenever Scott saw Tessa alone, and the few times he had seen her heading towards the stables one of the servants had appeared and told her she was needed up at the house.

            He was getting desperate enough that he was considering going to the house and just knocking on the door and directly asking to see her – which would no doubt be disastrous. Despite how much he still liked Mr. and Mrs. Virtue, things had never been the same between them after Mr. Virtue had _implied_ that Scott needed to stop writing Tessa. He’d avoided going up to the big house ever since then. He couldn’t imagine how they would react to him marching in and demanding to see Tess. Probably send her to Africa this time.

 

            A week later and still unsuccessful, Scott sat down across from Chiddy at the pub. “Okay, I need help.” He confessed to his best friend.  

            “With what?”

            “I can’t seem to get Tessa alone and I’m going to go crazy if this continues. You’ve got to help me out.” Scott was getting a little desperate now.

            “Me? What can I do?”

            “Do me a favor and talk to her – ask her if she’s even still interested in being friends. If I know that she is, I won’t feel so nervous trying to talk to her.”

            “You are driving _me_ crazy, you know that?” Chiddy sighed. “But I’ll see what I can do.”

            “Thank you. I owe you one.” Scott clapped in on the back, feeling hopeful that Chiddy might be able to do what he could not.

            “Yeah, yeah.” Chiddy just rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Now you owe me a rematch at darts.”

            Scott laughed, “I promised to let you win this time.”

            “Let me!?” Chiddy stood up in protest. “We’ll see about that.”

 

* * *

 

            “Good evening, Mr. Chan. Tessa is in the drawing room.” Chiddy was led into the house – a place he rarely had seen the inside of, despite working at the stables for so long – and down the hallway. The most he had ever seen was the entryway, dining room, and ballroom during the Christmas balls when he was asked to work as a footman. The family rooms of the house were much more comfortable and personalized. He found Tessa playing piano and blessedly alone.

            “Chiddy!” She immediately stopped and rushed over to him when he entered. “What are you doing here?” She smiled at him and dragged him over to sit next to her on the couch.

            “I wanted to see how you were. It’s been a little while.”

            “Oh, I’m just splendid.” She smiled, but he could see the falseness in her eyes. Good, hopefully he could fix that.

            “Listen, Tess. The real reason I’m here is because of this whole Scott situation.”

            She leaned away from him and started fiddling with the silver ring on her finger, “Oh?”

            Chiddy could have washed his hands of the whole thing right there. He had never met two people so obviously in love with each other and yet so stubbornly blind to it. “I can’t help but notice that the two of you haven’t spoken in a while… one might even say that you’re fighting.”

            “People have to talk to each other to fight. We are simply… silently coexisting.” She folded her hands together and looked away from him.

            “Well whatever you want to call it, it’s really stupid.” He stated bluntly, refusing to look away from her. “You both were best friends. _Best_ friends. Whatever you’re fighting about, is it really worth that?”

            “I…” Tessa hesitated, and just then her father walked in – the look on his face made it obvious he’d been listening to at least part of their conversation.

            “Good evening, Mr. Chan. How are you?” He held out his hand and Chiddy shook it.

            “I’m doing well, Mr. Virtue, and yourself?”

            “Oh, splendid m’boy, splendid. Very kind of you to visit Tessa this evening.”

            “Patrick was just coming to pick up the chocolate I promised him. Uncle Emile sent me a new box today.” Tessa cut in, the lie coming naturally to her for the first time ever. “I’ll be right back with the box, Chiddy.” She rushed from the room, leaving Chiddy standing alone awkwardly with her father.

            “Er… Patrick… I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation.”

            Chiddy looked at him apprehensively. He didn’t like the tone in Mr. Virtue’s voice – and knew whatever he was about to say next wouldn’t be good.

            “Naturally we like Scott very much and we are not opposed to their friendship by any means, but there can’t be any… _encouragement_ of anything more than that, you understand.”

            “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Mr. Virtue, I just want them to be happy.” Chiddy stood his ground – being deliberately obtuse – and understood for the first time clearly what Scott was up against. No wonder his friend was being so slow and stubborn to make a move, if he knew how much backlash they would face from her parents.

            “Of course, of course. We all want Tessa to be happy.” Mr. Virtue waved his hand dismissively. “Her mother and I know what’s best for her.”

            “With all due respect, Mr. Virtue, I’m not sure that you do.” Chiddy was feeling bold tonight, and satisfied at the way Mr. Virtue’s eyebrows raised in surprise and consternation at his unwillingness to play along.

            Thankfully Tessa re-entered the room just then. “Here it is, Chiddy. The best chocolate you’ll ever eat.” She grinned at him and handed him the box – a pleasant and unexpected twist to his evening – he was always happy to accept treats.

            “I’ll see you later, Tessa. Think about what I said, won’t you?”

            She nodded seriously and with a little bow he left. His was optimistic that tonight’s visit had not been in vain.

 

            “Tessa, have you been spending time with the Moir boy again?” Her father asked as soon as they were alone.

            “No. And I wish you and mother would stop asking me that.” Tessa grumbled, sitting back down at the piano.

            “We are only concerned for you. Scott is a nice boy, but…”

            Tessa slammed the lid down on the keys, anger boiling over, “I don’t want to hear what you have to say about him. I’ll decide how much time I spend with him or not!”

            “Tessa!” He chastised, but she was already moving towards the door.

            “Goodnight, father.” Without turning to look at him she stormed out of the room and went upstairs to her bedroom.

            She paced back and forth across the floor, probably wearing a hole in the carpet, but she didn’t care. She felt like a bird in a cage here – her parents constantly watching, and now Chiddy with all his well-meaning earnestness was coming to visit and bringing his suggestions for her life. She loved her parents and she loved Chiddy, but she was so tired of all this outside influence.

            She felt like acting out, but she wasn’t sure how. With a sigh she got into bed, determined to take a walk in the morning to clear her head and figure out a plan for moving forward. She knew she couldn’t keep living in this state of limbo. Something must be done about Scott – and an early morning walk would hopefully clear her head enough that she could come up with a plan. 


	24. Chapter 23: Sorry

**Chapter 23: Sorry**

           The next morning Tessa sat at the breakfast table with her parents, the room was sunny and warm with the morning light, chasing away the remnants of her discontent from the night before. She felt infinitely better after having some sleep.

            “What’s on the agenda this morning, Tessa?” Her father asked from across the table as he buttered his toast.

            “I thought I might go for a walk before mother and I take tea with the Hastings.” Tessa replied, sipping her orange juice.

            “Excellent. The Hastings have a son about your age, don’t they?” It took a strong concentrated effort for Tessa not to stand up and leave the table. Sometimes she imagined herself just walking out of the room when her parents behaved like this. They had been unceasing with the hints at marriage ever since she returned home. Surprisingly, her mother came to her rescue this time. “Thomas, James Hastings was recently married. You know that.”

            “Oh? That’s too bad. He was a nice boy.”

            “Father, you hardly could have met him more than once or twice.” Tessa replied, the annoyance leaking into her voice despite her best efforts. Her mother sent her a warning look.

            “Well, he seemed nice.” Her father amended, unperturbed.

            “I’m sure he did.” She muttered, defying her mother’s stare.

            “I think a walk will do you good, Tessa. You’ve been looking a little pale.” Her mother smiled kindly and Tessa grimaced a little.

            “Thank you...”

            Her mother’s smile fell, “I just meant that you haven’t been quite yourself. I love to see you smile, and you haven’t been doing that often enough lately.”

            She gave her mother the best smile she could, “I’ll try to do better. I’m sorry if I have seemed discontented.”

            “It’s quite alright, dear. I understand.” Her mother gave her a knowing look and Tessa worried for a brief moment that she _did_ understand. It wouldn’t be unusual for her mother to have some sort of insider knowledge.

            She made her getaway as soon as she could, grateful for the respite after breakfast. A walk in the fresh morning air was exactly what she needed to lift her spirits. Coming home hadn’t been all she had hoped. It was wonderful being with her parents again, despite their obvious desire to see her married to some wealthy man, and she had dearly missed Ilderton Manor and its surrounding gardens, but otherwise her homecoming had been severely lacking in the joy that she had been hoping for.    

           

            That morning Tessa decided to retrace her steps through old haunts from her childhood. As she made her way through the gardens she came upon the old oak tree she and Scott had loved to climb as children. The urge to climb it again struck her hard, and before she could reconsider the foolishness of her actions, she reached up and grabbed the lowest branch. With a glance she checked her surroundings quickly to make sure no one was nearby to see what she was doing and then she began to climb.

            It was much more difficult climbing a tree as an adult in a full skirt and boots, not to mention the corset constricting her movements, but Tessa managed. Her hair got caught a few times and she was certain she heard her skirt tear at one point, but by the time she reached the highest branches she was no worse for wear.

            The view over the valley descending from Ilderton was still magnificent and Tessa relished the moment to close her eyes and just breath in the familiar scents of home. How could she have ever thought the Eiffel Tower compared to this? The sound of the birds, the scent of the trees, the feeling of _home_ that permeated everything. It was incomparable.

 

            Suddenly she heard a rustling noise from beneath her and a muttered curse. “Scott!” She exclaimed, shocked to see him climbing up the tree after her. “What on earth are you doing?”

            “I could ask you the same thing.” He replied, smiling up at her. It felt so good to hear him tease her again – she had missed it terribly.

            “I missed the view.” She told him as he finally reached the same height as her.

            “I did too.” He said, looking at her with such affection in his eyes. Tessa had been so worried she’d never see that again, she couldn’t help but grin at him. She wasn’t sure what had come over him this morning, this sudden change in behavior, but she wasn’t about to complain.

            He lifted his hand and tucked a strand of her hair that had fallen loose during the climb behind her ear, lightly caressing her cheek and sending shivers down her spine. Tessa was suddenly feeling overwhelmed – she had almost forgotten what Scott could do to her with just a simple touch.

            “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. I need to tell you how sorry I am, Tess. I’ve behaved awfully to you. I’m sorry for not writing like I promised. There’s no excuse, but I thought I was doing the right thing. And I’m sorry for being rude ever since you got back. I thought Paris had changed you too much – that you weren’t the same girl that I knew… but then you climbed this tree and I realized, maybe the old Tessa is still in there after-all.”

            “She never left,” Tessa replied, “She just grew a little taller. And I’m sorry too – I’ve been quick to anger and slow to forgive. Never a good combination.”

            Scott smiled so softly at her then, and Tessa knew that finally things would be alright. She finally felt like she was at peace.

            “We’d better climb down before your parents catch you and think all those years at school were a waste.” Scott teased and Tessa laughed.

            “I’m afraid I’m still not much of a lady.” She joked back and started following him down.

            “Thank god for that.” He threw back and she laughed – delighted.

 

            It turned out that climbing _down_ a tree in a skirt was even more difficult than going up. Tessa had to rely on Scott’s help much more than she anticipated. “I’m so glad you followed me. I’m not sure what I would have done if I’d had to manage this alone.” She told him honestly as he steadied her while she climbed down to a lower branch.

            “You would have found a way. You always do.” He said, his hands lingering on her waist. To be honest, she did appreciate and need his help to get down, but the way her legs seemed to turn to jelly whenever he touched her made the climb much more difficult than it would have been otherwise.

            “Probably, but it’s so much better with you around. Always has been.” They stood there in the tree grinning at each other like idiots for a moment before continuing.

            Eventually they reached the last branch, a good five feet off of the ground still.

            “Hold on.” Scott jumped down and then turned to face her, holding out his arms. “Jump – I’ll catch you.”

            Trusting him came as naturally to her as breathing, it always had. Tessa jumped and when she opened her eyes found Scott’s hazel ones staring back at her, one arm wrapped around her back and the other under her legs. “Still gorgeous green.” He whispered, and when she smiled softly at him he blushed – realizing that she’d heard him.

            He set her down and pulled away quickly. “Well I’d better get back to the stables. Patch will be wondering where I am.”

            “Of course. Mother and I are going to visit the Hastings so I’d better go get cleaned up.” Tessa replied, feeling a little breathless.

            “Come visit.” He said, and then quickly added, “The horses. Come visit the horses. I’m sure they’d love to see you any time.”

            “I will.” Tessa said with a happy smile, understanding what he was really saying.

            “Great. See you later then.” He smiled back and then rushed off.

 

            Tessa walked back to the house feeling lighter than she had in a long time.

 

* * *

 

 

            “There were several roads near by, but it did not take her long to find the one paved with yellow brick. Within a short time she was walking briskly toward the Emerald City, her silver shoes tinkling merrily on the hard, yellow roadbed. The sun shone bright and the birds sang sweet and Dorothy did not feel nearly as bad as you might think a little girl would who had been suddenly whisked away from her own country and set down in the midst of a strange land.”

            Tessa sat on top of a bale of hay reading aloud to Scott while he went about his work. They had decided to pick up their old tradition of reading together, with Tessa suggesting the still fairly new novel _The Wizard of Oz_ as their first book. It was an innocuous, purely platonic way to spend time together and get used to being friends again - or so Tessa was telling herself.

            “Now here’s a sight for sore eyes.” Patch leaned against the wall, smiling at them both. “It’s good to have you back here, Tessa.”

            Tessa laughed, “I’ve been back in the stables many times since moving home, Patch.”

            “But not like this. Now it’s how it should be.” He winked and picked up the halter he had come in for, nodding at them with a pleased look as he walked back outside.

            Tessa rolled her eyes at Scott, who grinned at her in return. “He’s not wrong, you know. It feels like old times.”

            Tessa smiled at him, “Yes, it does.” Old times, except for the fact that she kept stumbling over the words to the book because she couldn’t resist staring at Scott as he worked. She kept get distracted by the way his muscles moved under his shirt as he lifted heavy bags or the strong, steady movements while he brushed the horses. He really was looking very handsome today – it was a miracle she could concentrate on the book at all – and that he hadn’t noticed. _Platonic_ didn’t really describe how she was feeling about him.

            Maybe if she just asked to run her hands through his hair once, the urge would be out of her system and they could get back to normal.

            “Are you going to keep reading?” He asked, pulling her out of her daydreaming. She hoped he hadn’t noticed that she’d been staring. She smiled too brightly in an attempt to try and hide her reaction to him.

            “Absolutely. I don’t have to be anywhere this afternoon. I’m yours.”

            A flash of heat and maybe … _possession_ … went through his eyes and she stuttered to correct herself, “I mean… I’m available. To read. I have time to read. Not that I’m… anyway. Reading. I’m going to start doing that now.”

            She quickly went back to the book, words coming out faster than normal as she felt him staring at her. When she glanced up he gave her a little smirk and her heart skipped a beat.

            She fell back on her reliable strategy of teasing, “Don’t you have work to do, Mr. Moir? Tsk tsk.”

            He laughed, a low chuckle that somehow sent her insides fluttering, “Whatever you say, Miss Virtue.”

            She laughed back, but it came out sort of wobbly and she lifted up the book to cover her face. “Once in a while she would pass a house, and the people came out to look at her and bow low as she went by; for everyone knew she had been the means of destroying the wicked witch and setting them free from bondage.”

            Tessa glanced back at him over the top of the book, relieved to see he’d gone back to working. She had no idea how to handle Scott when he flirted – which she hoped was what he was doing, although she wasn’t sure – every time he looked at her like that her brain seemed to become mush and she couldn’t think anymore. It was becoming a real problem.

            How were they supposed to go back to being friends when all she could think about was kissing him?

 

            Scott, meanwhile, was basking in having Tessa by his side again. Frankly, he was happy to have her however he could, and if that meant strictly platonic interactions sharing books and jokes, well that was good enough for him (or so he was trying desperately to convince himself).

            But he couldn’t seem to resist teasing her, flirting a little, whenever the opportunity arose. She always turned the most adorable shade of pink and was so responsive - he couldn’t help himself.

            He sincerely hoped that this meant they were on the road to something… _more_.


	25. Chapter 24: What's Love Got To Do With It?

**Chapter 24: What's Love Got To Do With It?**

 

            “Do you remember the fair seven years ago?” They were sitting on a blanket spread out on the hill far below the manor, enjoying a picnic. Chiddy was supposed to be joining them soon. Ever since climbing the tree and Scott’s apology, the three of them had fallen back into their easy friendship. Of course, it was different now that Chiddy had moved away – and was courting Miss Elizabeth Cooper – and there was a palpable _something_ between Tessa and Scott, but they were choosing to ignore that.

            “Of course I remember it. Why?” Tessa popped a green grape in her mouth, enjoying the sour taste, and leaned back to bask in the warmth of the August sun.

            “I was just thinking about how afraid you were of the Ferris wheel.”

            Tessa made a noise of protest, opening her eyes to see him smirking at her. “I was not!” She threw a grape at his head.

            He ducked, came up grinning, and said, “You absolutely were. It was adorable.”

            “It was a brand new invention! For all I knew it would break free and we would go rolling to our deaths!”

            “Break free!?” Scott burst out laughing and Tessa threw another handful of grapes at him, but he only ducked and kept laughing. Frustrated, she lunged at him and covered his mouth with her hands. He fell backward, surprised, and Tessa grabbed at the nearby grass to throw at him. Leaves and grass were flying everywhere, and Tessa started laughing – throwing anything she could at Scott’s head. Suddenly he grabbed her wrists and she fell back, off balance.

            “Surrender!”

            “I will never surrender!” Tessa said, laughing, and wrenched her wrists free, pushing him over and finding the spot under his arms where he had been ticklish as a boy. She grabbed him around the ribs, tickling. He laughed, surprised, and squirmed – trying to get away. But Tessa was relentless.

            “Stop. Stop!” He was chuckling as he begged. He grabbed at her hands, pulling them away from his ribs, and pulled her over – rolling over so that she was pinned beneath him.

            He had Tessa’s wrists pinned to the ground by her head, and leaned over her – his eyes crinkled with smiles, his grin as bright as she had ever seen it. Tessa’s cheeks ached from smiling. She could feel his chest rising and falling against her own, could feel the weight of his legs across hers. Her heart picked up speed. The sun cast its golden glow over the clearing – over them.

            “I thought you would have outgrown being ticklish.” She said, breathless.

            “I thought I had.” His cheeks were red, and grass was caught in his long hair. His eyes were warm and he said, “I guess there are some things I will never outgrow.”

            His smile softened, his eyes full of something like regret and affection mixed together. “Like you.” His voice was nearly a whisper now, husky and threaded with remnants of his laugh. “I doubt I will ever outgrow you, Tess.”

            And in that moment, she knew. She knew that he was right – they would never outgrow each other. She adored him. She _loved_ him. Her heart was pounding, her breath coming fast. Something was happening – something that had been threatening to happen for a long time. They were approaching a line they would never be able to uncross. Scott’s gaze moved from her eyes to her mouth, and she saw a look of longing in his eyes.

            “Tess, I…”

            “Scott? Tessa?”

            Scott jerked, and Tessa did too, at the sound of Chiddy’s voice. He rolled away and she sat up quickly, appalled at how they must have looked.

            “What…” Chiddy came to a stop in from of them and looked back and forth at their disheveled appearance. “What’s going on here?” He asked, looking like the cat that ate the canary.

            “Oh nothing, Tessa was just stripping me.” Scott was lounging back on one elbow, looking as if nothing could disturb him.

            Tessa nearly choked. “I was not!” She cried, throwing him a furious look, cheeks turning bright red.

            “Stripping me of my dignity, I mean.” His expression was all merriment and mischief. “She was tickling me. Quite undignified. I suppose one of us should write to her aunt and inform her that all her lessons were for nothing.”

            Tessa sat there sputtering. “You are insufferable. You know that, right?”

            “Ignore him, Tess. He just can’t help himself. Lost cause, that one.” Chiddy said with a grin as he sat down.

 

            The rest of the afternoon passed without further incident, except for the little secret glances Tessa and Scott kept giving each other and Chiddy’s occasional knowing smirk. Their friend was entirely too self-satisfied every time he watched their interactions – silently taking credit for their reunion.

            Scott spent the afternoon taking advantage of the opportunity to observe Tessa. She was so carefree there away from the ever-watchful eyes of her parents and everyone else in and around Ilderton Manor. Today she could just be Tessa - witty and making jokes - eyes dancing in merriment and letting her laugh be big and boisterous. The laugh Scott so rarely got to hear, but loved. 

            He loved the way this chance to relax softened her features and posture, turning her back into Tessa the girl, instead of Tessa the lady. He loved looking at her - loved watching her move. She was so beautiful that he felt like his heart could hardly contain what he felt for her. And for some reason she seemed to feel the same way, if the looks she gave him and her reactions to him were any indication. 

            Scott didn't think he'd ever been this happy. Years of loneliness and self-doubt and feeling lost had begun to fade and heal the moment that they had reconciled. 

            When they had cleaned up the picnic and bid farewell to Chiddy, Scott couldn't resist taking her hand in his, grinning as he slipped his index finger in between her pinky and ring fingers to modify the hold. She looked a their hands and laughed, cheeks a little pink. "What are you doing?" 

            "Holding your hand." He said like it was obvious. 

            "Yes," Tessa rolled her eyes, "I meant this." She squeezed his finger between hers. 

            "Making it our own. Like a secret handshake." 

             Tessa laughed again - something Scott wanted to spend his whole life making her do - and shook her head affectionately. She held his hand like that all the way until they were in sight of the house and had to part with a sad sigh. Scott was in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day - everything was looking up. 

 

* * *

 

 

            That evening Tessa sat at her vanity before bed, attempting to write a reply to Kaitlyn's last letter. 

_Dearest Kaitlyn,_

_All of my blues have blown away. Life at Ilderton is nothing but roses and sunshine and happiness. We have been having the most glorious summer weather and mother and I have persuaded father to take us sailing a few times, when he can get away from the busy bank that is._

_The wild strawberries are abundant this year and my friends and I have spent many happy hours foresting for them. Chiddy says that they're better than anything a person could buy in a restaurant, and I am inclined to agree. I wish that you were here to taste them._

_~~I... Scott...~~ You asked about Scott and I am happy to say that all is well and we are friends again. I see him often around the stables, or town, or with Chiddy. But not much more than that. We are good friends though, and he makes me laugh - like we are children again. _

Tessa stopped, unsure what to write. Talking about Scott had always made her feel a little uncomfortable, and she worried that if she told Kaitlyn too much she would know that Tessa loved him and then there would be one more person trying to influence her choices. She hoped that what she'd written was vague and casual enough - although Tessa was a little concerned that it rambled. 

             What she wanted to write was, "Kaitlyn I'm in love and desperately happy, but I can't find the courage to tell him - help!" She looked back down at her letter and saw that she had written  _Kaitlyn, I'm in love with Scott_ unconsciously. Looking at it for the first time, she panicked and crumpled up the letter - tearing it to pieces and throwing it in her waste basket. 

             "Trouble with your letter, dear?" Her mother's voice rang out from behind her, and Tessa turned around to greet her. 

             "Good evening, mother. No, I blotted some of the ink. I'll have to start again tomorrow." 

            Kate smiled and walked over to stroke Tessa's hair, "You look so grown up sitting here, Tessa. It makes my heart ache a little - it feels like just yesterday you were running in with muddy knees from a day spent outside. But I'm very proud of the young lady that you've become."

            Touched, Tessa's voice came out a little thick, "Thank you, mother. I must confess, sometimes I still feel like that little girl. Navigating adulthood is so much harder than I thought it would be."

            Kate sat down on the little seat next to her and wrapped her up in a warm hug, "We all feel like that from time to time, but you're doing a wonderful job so far." She leaned back and looked at Tessa with concern, "I know you were melancholy when you returned home, and Beatrice told me that it started even before you left Paris. I had thought you wanted to come back to Ilderton, but are you sure that you're quite happy here?" 

            Tessa smiled softly, "I was sad in Paris, and it was more difficult adjusting to being home than I had anticipated, but I am happy. I promise." 

            "I understand." Kate stroked a piece of hair off of Tessa's forehead, "Sometimes our choices don't always have the consequences that we expected." She was giving Tessa a searching look, but Tessa merely sighed and nodded - thinking of Scott and wondering if it was too late for them to become  _more_ than friends. 

            "It's not always too late to make a new choice." Kate was saying, and Tessa smiled at her. 

            "You think so?" 

            "Of course. There's always a second chance, if you're willing to work for it." Kate smiled at her daughter reassuringly, and Tessa felt a renewed sense of determination and hope. 

             “Thank you, mother.”

            Kate hugged her again, “I love you darling. I want you to be happy.”

            “I love you too, mama.” Tessa returned the embrace tightly. However much they might disagree, she still loved her mother very much.

            “I’m glad that you and Scott are friends again.”  Her mother pulled back and said, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “Friends can be good things.”

            Reluctant to follow this conversation and immediately on her guard, Tessa said, “Yes, I quite like having friends.”

            “What do the two of you talk about?”

            “Um… mostly I read to him while he works.” Tessa looked down at her hands, feeling acutely uncomfortable. She probably shouldn’t mention that they had gotten into a wrestling match and he’d ended up on top of her – that would probably give her mother a conniption.

            “Ah, I see. Well, reading is a wonderful hobby.” Her mother gave her a look, like she was trying to figure out if Tessa was hiding anything, but Tessa just smiled innocently at her.

            “It is, isn’t it? Goodnight, mother.”

            “Goodnight.” With a kiss to the top of her head, she was gone – leaving Tessa alone. She let out a big sigh, grateful to have made it through another round of questioning. For being such a big house, Ilderton Manor could feel awfully small at times.

             As she lay in bed she thought about what her mother had said about second chances. Things had been going so amazingly well with Scott, she could be risking it all if she made a move to advance their relationship, but if she didn’t do anything she would slowly descend into madness. Tessa didn't think she would be content secretly loving him forever. She had to know if he returned her affection.

             His birthday was coming up soon – it would be the perfect opportunity to tell him how she felt. If he rejected her, well… she could always move back to Paris. She laughed mirthlessly at the idea.

 

* * *

 

 

            “So…”Chiddy began as he and Scott sat in the pub that next Friday night, “What did I walk in on a few days ago between you and Tess? I hope I interrupted something.” He arched an eyebrow at Scott with a little smirk.

            “Nothing.” Scott replied, unable to stop the giddy smile from spreading across his face.

            “I knew it. God – _finally_ – it’s about time.” Chiddy sat back in relief, taking a large drink from his pint of beer.

            “Nothing’s happened, Chiddy, we’re just friends.” Scott corrected his assumption.

            “Well that’s a lie. Pretty sure I could see the two of you rolling around before I walked up so…”

            “It was purely innocent.”

            Chiddy burst out laughing, “You’re a horrible liar.”

            Scott adopted a mock angelic expression, “I don’t know what you mean. We were merely … playing.”

            “Sure. Playing at…” Scott slapped his hand over Chiddy’s mouth.

            “Listen, clearly it wasn’t totally innocent, but she and I haven’t discussed what’s happening between us, whatever _it_ is. So just keep it to yourself for now.”

            “Your secret is safe with me.” Chiddy winked at him. “But seriously, Scott, I’m happy for you.”

            Scott smiled, “Thanks, Chiddy. I just hope I get it right this time.”

            “You will. You two have worked too hard to get back here to fail now.” Chiddy gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

            “I hope you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

 

            The next day they were continuing with their reading of _The Wizard of Oz_. Scott was listening intently as the booked neared its climax - enjoying Tessa's voice as much as the story. 

            “Do you have any plans for your birthday?” Tessa stopped reading and asked from where she was sitting.

            “Tess!” Scott complained, “You can’t stop right before they confront the wicked witch!”

            But she put down the book despite his protest, “I’ll get back to it in a minute, first answer my question.”

            “I don’t have anything planned. Now will you _please_ keep reading.” He pleaded with her – not understanding what was quite so important about his birthday  that required her to torture him with stopping in the middle of the suspense.

            She smiled a secretive smile at him, “Good. I’d like to reserve the day, if you don’t mind.”

            Suddenly much more interested in her than the book, Scott asked, “What are you up to?”

            “Chiddy and I want to take you to lunch.” She said, and he deflated a little bit. He had hoped it would be something more than that. “That sounds great. Thanks.”

            “And I have a surprise for you after that.” She grinned at him, then picked up the book and continued to read.

            His mouth dropped open, “Tess.” He cut off her reading, “You can’t tease me like that. What’s the surprise?”

            She looked up at him with a mischievous glance, “Wait and see.”

            He groaned, “Fine. But you’re cruel to taunt me like this.”

            “It’ll be worth it.” She winked. Honestly _winked_ at him. And Scott was full of the absolute certainty that whatever the surprise was it would definitely be worth the wait. His birthday couldn’t come soon enough.


	26. Chapter 25: Latch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! ;)

**Chapter 25: Latch**

            Tessa was ready. Ready to claim her second chance with Scott. She didn’t know how exactly she was going to bring it about, but she knew what she wanted and was ready to actively pursue it. She was planning on making a move on his birthday, but wanted to try her hand at flirting in the days leading up to it to make sure that he wanted this too. She’d never  _intentionally_  flirted before, but if she was ever going to learn, now was the time.  

            Of course, that would be when the universe conspired against her. First, there was a foaling horse that took Scott’s attention for a few days, then he and Patch had to leave to go to a horse auction in northern Ontario, and on top of all that her mother continued to keep her busy with social calls. There never seemed to be any time to spend with each other.

           

            At her wits end, Tessa marched into town and knocked on Chiddy’s door. “Chiddy, you have to help me.”.

            He sighed good naturedly, “Good afternoon to you too, Tess. What is it now?”

            Tessa let herself into house and walked into his small living room, fiddling nervously with the ring on her finger. “I told Scott that you and I would take him to lunch for his birthday.”

            “I don’t see how that’s a problem. I’m happy to go with you, of course. Although I think he’d rather be alone with you. Tea?” He gestured to the kettle on the table that he had clearly just prepared.

            “Yes please.” Tessa nodded and sat down. “See, that’s the problem. I want Scott to know that I’m…  _interested_ … if you know what I mean. But I’m not sure how to do… that.” She plucked at an imaginary thread in her skirt, finding it difficult to look Chiddy in the eyes.

            He poured her a cup of tea and prepared it how he knew she liked, “How is it you spent five years in France and came back without knowing how to flirt?” Chiddy laughed and shook his head. He handed her the cup, noting her trembling hands. He’d never seen Tessa so awkward and uncertain.

            “The person I wanted to flirt with was here. There wasn’t much point.”

            That sobered Chiddy up, and instead of teasing her, he looked at her sympathetically, “Tess, just tell him how you feel. You don’t need any fancy tricks – I promise.”  

            “Are you sure he won’t reject me? What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Sometimes I think he does, but then he goes back to goofing around and I think, well that just must be how Scott is. But then sometimes he looks at me and I think it  _must_  mean something more. How am I supposed to know? He never says anything! I just want…” She was beginning to ramble, and Chiddy hurried to stop her from getting too carried away.

            “Tess, Tess.” She stopped and looked up at him. “I swear the two of you are the only people who can’t see each other’s feelings. Do you know how much you drive us all crazy? Even Liz mentioned it the first time she saw you two interact  _from a distance_. Asked me point blank if you were courting. I promise, Scott is  _not_  going to reject you.”

            Tessa looked at him hopefully, “Really?”

            “Yes.” Chiddy replied back, sounding a little exasperated. “Now, as for a plan – here you go. We take Scott to lunch, Liz comes too and we have a nice double date, then you walk him home and tell him how you feel and we can all move past this agonizing ordeal.”     

            “Honestly, Chiddy,” Tessa replied, sounding more confident, “You’d think that you’re the one who has something to gain or lose by this, not me and Scott.”

            “Trust me, Tess. Those of us who have been cheering for you two to be together  _do_  have just as much to gain or lose – our sanity.”

  

* * *

 

 

            Finally Scott’s birthday arrived. It couldn’t have come soon enough for Tessa, who had been growing more and more anxious by the day. She walked down to the stables feeling pleased at the bright sunshine, the blue sky only broken up by a few thick white clouds. The weather was perfect, and she was determined that nothing would spoil the day.

            “Are you ready to go?” She asked Scott as he met her outside the stables.

            “Yep. Although I think I’d rather you just tell me my surprise now.” He smiled and offered her his arm. She took it even as she pursed her lips together.

            “All in good time, Mr. Moir.” Tessa was proud of herself for keeping her voice steady. It was going to be a long afternoon if she couldn’t stifle all this nervous energy coursing through her.

             She took Scott to meet up with Chiddy and Liz in town for lunch. It was Tessa’s first time officially meeting Chiddy’s girlfriend, and she was pleased to discover that she really liked her. Liz was kind and soft-spoken, but confident. The perfect match for Chiddy. And she provided Tessa with a welcome distraction to the man sitting next to her, whose every move Tessa seemed attuned to and whose arm was currently slung around the back of her chair like it was the most natural thing in the world. Every so often Scott’s fingers would brush her shoulder and it was all Tessa could do not to jump out of her seat every time they did.  

            Elizabeth told her the story of how she had first been introduced to Chiddy two years ago, which made Tessa laugh uncontrollably.

            “I can’t imagine Chiddy drunk at all. Scott, how could you let that happen?”

            “Me!? The man was determined to celebrate that night – how could I stop him?”

            Tessa was satisfied to realize that she felt nothing but happiness for Chiddy and delight at the prospect of Elizabeth turning their little posse into a foursome. Well, maybe she felt a little envious, but she hoped that maybe after today she and Scott… well, she hoped – but she wasn’t going to jinx it by letting herself finish the thought.

            “So after a first impression like that, how did he convince you to date him?” Tessa had never heard the story, and was curious.

            “He came back and apologized the next day – very awkward and shy,” Liz began, but Chiddy cut in.

            “She means handsome and sensitive.”

            Liz rolled her eyes affectionately, “He felt so bad that I took pity on him and invited him in for tea. We were only friends at first. After a few weeks, I thought he might make a move, but he never did. I began despairing of hope until a year later when he showed up on my doorstep with flowers and a dinner invitation and stated plainly that I should ‘accept it as a sign of courtship.’”

            “Entirely Scott’s doing, I’m afraid.” Chiddy said as he took Liz’s hand.

            “What?” Tessa asked in surprise, glancing back and forth between the two boys. Scott looked embarrassed. “What did Scott do?”

            “He told me that I was lucky because there was nothing standing in my way but myself, that Liz cared for me and her parents approved – so if I didn’t tell her how I felt I was an idiot who didn’t deserve her.” Chiddy was smiling at Liz, eyes not leaving hers as he talked. Tessa glanced over at Scott, but he avoided her gaze.

            After a moment she said, “Well I’m glad he said something. You seem perfect for each other.”

            “Thank you.” Liz smiled, and it was clear that she was happily in love. Certain of her future. Tessa wanted that too – although she wondered about Scott’s comment. Did he care so much about parental approval?

 

            After lunch she and Scott bid the others farewell and headed back to Ilderton, enjoying the early signs of autumn and the cool breeze as they walked up the lane. Tessa was quiet, absentmindedly playing with the silver ring on her finger, trying to figure out just the right thing to say to Scott and work up the courage to actually say it. How did one go about telling their best friend they loved them? Did she just say it outright? She really should have written it out beforehand.

            “It looks like rain.” Scott gestured to the gathering dark clouds.

            “No. Not today.” Tessa replied a little distractedly.

            He chuckled at how resolute she sounded. “Oh no? Did you make a deal with the weather?”

            “Yes! It’s supposed to be perfect on your birthday.” She glowered at the sky and Scott laughed at her.

            Hardly a moment later the skies opened and it began pouring buckets of rain.

            “Run!” Scott grabbed her hand and pulled her along, the two of them running full speed towards the nearest building – an old shed on the edge of the property.

            Scott dragged her under the small overhang and tried the door.

            “It’s bolted shut.” He gave it a few strong tugs, but it wouldn’t budge.

            “That’s alright, maybe the rain will stop soon.” She said hopefully, but just then a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, quickly accompanied by a deafening clap of thunder.

            “I think you cursed us.” Scott commented.

            “This is never going to work!” She groaned. Why was the universe conspiring against her!? Did her parents somehow know what she wanted to do and use their surely considerable pull with God to get him to foil all of her plans?

            “It’s not that bad, Tess.” Scott shrugged and watched the rain pour down off the edge of the roof in front of them. Sticking his hand into the water to catch some of it and then flicking it at her with a playful grin.

            Tessa didn’t feel playful though. “This wasn’t how today was supposed to go.”

            He turned to her with a crooked smile, “Why? Did you really have a big surprise planned? You should probably just tell me now so…”

            Tessa surged up on her tiptoes and kissed him. It was a little harder than she’d intended – and definitely not in her plans – but she was so frustrated at being delayed over and over again that she found herself acting without thinking.

            Scott froze in surprise, and she panicked. She pulled away fast. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” But then it was his turn to cut her off. His hands came up to hold her face as he brought his lips back to hers – his hands were gentle, as if she was a wild and fragile thing that he had to hold carefully in place, and his lips were soft and molded to hers perfectly.

            His fingers reached into her hair, tangling in the dark tresses, and Tessa brought her hands up to clutch at his sides. His lips tasted of rain water and a hint of the chocolate he had eaten at lunch and… desire. He kissed her until her knees trembled and fire melted through her and she felt thoroughly, achingly wanted.

            When at last he lifted his lips from hers, his breath was ragged. He leaned his head close to hers, pressing their foreheads together, and whispered, “I have been waiting to do that for five years.”

            A joyous half-laugh broke free from Tessa and she grinned at him, heart bursting. “Me too.”

            Scott grinned back, “Was this my big birthday surprise?”

            “Yes, do you like it?” She played along.

            “I  _love_  it. Would you mind if I did it again? I’m not sure I got a full birthday’s worth.” He teased and Tessa felt desire shoot through her from her head to her toes. God how she wanted this – how could anything have compared? How could she have ever fooled herself into thinking she could have this with Guillaume, or anyone else?

            “You can do whatever you like. It’s your birthday.” Tessa felt brazen, but Scott’s expression was worth it. He was looking at her with such open desire that it made Tessa feel powerful and a deliciously scandalous at the same time.

            Scott dived back in, kissing her with such passion she genuinely thought she might pass out from the overwhelming feelings surrounding them both. Keeping one hand tangled in her hair, he moved the other to her waist, twisting them around so that she was pressed against the wall of the shed.

            Her own hands slid up into his hair – finally allowed to run through it like she’d been dying to do ever since she returned home. She let the thick strands glide through her fingers, before her hands gripped his hair tightly of their own accord and tugged a little. He groaned and she moved to apologize, worrying she’d hurt him, but he just let his lips glide across her jawline to kiss her neck and Tessa felt all the air leave her lungs in a gust as heat shot through her core.

            She had never felt like this in her life. Every kiss – every touch – left her wanting more. Years of pent up passion were finally allowed to be released and they couldn’t get enough of each other.

            “God, Tessa. You’re perfect. Amazing. I missed you so fucking much.” He punctuated each statement with a press of his lips to her skin, before latching onto the area under her ear – an erogenous zone for her, she was shocked to discover, as a loud moan escaped her lips. She was also surprised to find that his cursing was making the pulsing between her legs increase. She’d always been appalled by men cursing, as she had been raised to be, but something about Scott saying it – voice all low and husky and close to her ear – was frighteningly arousing.

            The rain started to ease just as quickly as it had come, and with its dissipation Scott slowed his kisses. Tessa’s eyes were shut tight as she basked in the feelings he was stirring inside her. She wanted more.  _More._   _More. More._  That was all she could think.

                “We should probably stop now.” Scott placed another gentle kiss on her lips and pulled back.

                “Yes,” Tessa managed to reply breathlessly, “I believe that’s one birthday’s worth.”

                She opened her eyes to see Scott grinning widely, his eyes crinkling at the edges just like she loved. “Is this limited to just a birthday thing or…” he teased.

                “It better not be!” Tessa replied back emphatically. “I’ve waited too long for you quit now, Mr. Moir.”

                “Well, if the lady insists.” He leaned down to sneak another kiss, then took her hand in his, pulling it up to place a kiss on her ring. “Have you worn this ever since the fair?” He asked her quietly, stroking it with his thumb.

                “Yes.” She whispered, voice suddenly thick with emotion.

                “Even after I stopped…”

                “Yes.” She cut in, wanting him to know that in her heart she had never stopped caring about him. Missing him. Loving him. “I wanted to keep a piece of you with me, whether you felt the same or not.”

                “Oh, Tess.” He kissed her so softly, and she could see his eyes were a little wet. “I’ve always felt the same."

                “Yeah?” She asked with a shy smile.

                “Yes.” He replied firmly.

                They walked back towards Ilderton through the wet grass, hand-in-hand. And Tessa felt like the day had been something out of a dream. She had ascended to the clouds and wouldn’t be coming back down for a long time.


	27. Chapter 26: Carmen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably gets explicit. Just FYI

**Chapter 26: Carmen**

            After their kiss, opportunities to be alone were few and far between. The constant activity that Tessa had once loved the stables for had become her worst enemy. Every time she went to visit Scott there were always other groomsmen around. They had to be satisfied with little caresses of each other’s hands and heated looks – which was a new kind of torture after their months (years) of misunderstandings.

            Chiddy and Elizabeth turned out to be their saviors – always willing to provide an alibi or an excuse for an evening out.

            Tessa would tell her parents that she was attending a local play or concert with “her new friend” Elizabeth, but once there they would meet Chiddy and Scott.

            They had to be careful about who saw them, lest word somehow got back to her parents, but they couldn’t resist holding hands under the table or sneaking little kisses in the dark theatres.

           

            Sometimes they would meet at Chiddy’s house for dinner.

            One night, after they had all finished their meal and were all sitting lazily around the table, Chiddy caught yet  _another_ glance between Tessa and Scott – what must have been the hundredth one that night – and figured it would be best if he gave them some privacy. “Liz, would you like to watch the sunset with me?” He smiled knowingly at Scott and Tessa as he lead Elizabeth out of the back door, leaving the two of them alone.

            “What does he think we’re going to do?” Tessa joked.

            “His mind…” Scott shook his head, “So impure. All we do is talk.”

            They maintained the serious façade for a moment longer, and then burst out laughing. With a lurch Scott was pulling her out of her chair and into his lap. Tessa shrieked as she threw her arms around his neck – but he barely gave her a moment to recover. “Oh that’s right, he thinks we’re doing this.” And his mouth was on hers.

            Tessa had initially thought that each time she kissed him the passion would have to build anew – start from scratch – but that was not the case. It always seemed to pick up from where it was last time – immediately igniting the fire in her blood.

            She gripped his hair like she now knew he loved, satisfied when he moaned into her mouth. His own hands were spread wide on her back, although one thumb was caressing her ribcage, just barely stroking the side of her breast in a way that left her gasping for air.

            Unintentionally, she found herself squeezing her legs together and rocking her hips a little – attempting to alleviate the sensations that were building inside her, but not entirely sure how.

            Scott suddenly placed a hand on her thigh, his fingers digging in a little bit. “Tess, you’re killing me here.”

            And she realized he must know what was happening to her, what she was feeling, the way her body reacted to him – and maybe what to do about it.

            “Scott,” she whispered, about to beg him to continue, but he moved his hand down to her knee – a much safer location.

            “We should go outside and join Chiddy. I wouldn’t want to be accused of compromising your _virtue_.” He gave her a ridiculous grin and she laughed, hitting him lightly on the arm.

            “I can’t believe you just said that.”

            His face scrunched up as he laughed harder at his own joke, and she sighed with mock exasperation.

            “Alright, fine. Let’s go.” She stood up and together they went out to join Chiddy. But she knew this wasn’t over. Scott held the secret – one she desperately wanted to know – and she was determined to discover it.  

****

            By the time a few days had passed, Tessa knew that she could wait no longer. The feelings he had stirred in her wouldn’t be ignored, however hard she tried, and she felt like she would combust if she didn’t do something about them. She was ready to take the next step. She knew Scott would never cross that line first, so it would have to be her that encouraged him to move forward with their physical relationship.

            Back in Paris there had been a few girls at her aunt’s school who let boys do more than kiss them. At first Tessa had been scandalized, but the more she heard the more she grew curious. People really did that? Touched each other there? And it was pleasurable? Kaitlyn had told her some of what she and Andrew did together, but at the time Tessa had been courting Guillaume and couldn’t imagine letting him do those things, so she hadn’t thought much more about it.

            But with Scott it was entirely different. She couldn’t seem to _stop_ thinking about it. Kissing Scott was certainly pleasurable, and something she would be happy to do for hours, but she longed to know what it would be like to do _more_. She couldn’t resist peeking out her window to see if Scott’s light was still on. It was late and most of the household had gone to bed long since. Tessa was feeling restless though and couldn’t sleep.

            Seeing that there was still light coming from Scott’s window, Tessa made up her mind. She stood and looked herself once over in the mirror, nodding at herself before donning her robe and slippers and padding across the room. Sneaking through the quiet manor felt very different now from when she had been a girl. The sense of anticipation was growing with each step, as was the nervousness that she would be caught and forced to find some sort of explanation for why she was heading out to the stables after midnight in her nightgown.

            Finally she reached Scott’s door, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, and knocked quietly. She heard some scuffling inside and after a moment Scott opened the door. He had clearly dressed hastily, pants still unbuttoned and shirt hanging wide, suspenders looped over his shoulders haphazardly.

            “Tess!” He exclaimed loudly.

            “Shhhh!” She hurried to quiet him, “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” She whispered with a smile. He still looked stunned as he stepped to the side, permitting her to enter. She turned around to face him as he closed the door.

            “Oh my god, this has happened in my dreams before, I think.” He murmured to himself, and Tessa felt a little thrill. So he _had_ dreamed about her like she had him. Scott seemed to be regaining his composure, “You shouldn’t be here so late. What if you were seen?” His eyes raked up and down her body, noting her state of dress, and a thrill shot through her at the barely restrained passion in his expression.

            “I wanted to see you.” She confessed, returning the favor of taking in his appearance. Admiring the long line of his chest and abs visible between the sides of his open shirt, eyes dropping down to his bellybutton and the line of hair trailing down into pants. His eyes grew dark when he realized what she was doing.

            “So late at night? What for?” His voice had dropped low. He knew why, but wanted to hear her say it.

            “I didn’t get a goodnight kiss.” She replied coyly. He smirked and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

            “There. Will that satisfy you?” He had only pulled back slightly, and his warm breath on her cheek sent shivers down her spine.

            “Another.” She replied, a little embarrassed to already be breathless. Scott moved and kissed the other cheek, closer to her mouth.

            “How about now?” His mouth moved against hers in a near-kiss, ramping up her desire.

            “Scott…” She complained, but before she could finish he pressed a hard kiss to her lips, his hands coming up to frame her face. She wrapped her arms around him and fell into the embrace. His mouth was insistent, his tongue entering her mouth to tease her own before withdrawing. Tessa felt something hard against her back and realized Scott had turned them around, pressing her against the door. One of his hands caressed its way down her body, coming around to rest on her backside, and Tessa let out a sound she’d never made before as heat rushed between her legs.

            This was what she had come for – to chase that feeling she’d only felt a few times recently with Scott. She wanted more – to find out where that feeling would take her.

            She broke away with a gasp and Scott started trailing kisses down her neck, sucking a mark into her collarbone like he knew she secretly loved. Her fingers were tangled in his long hair and her breathing was coming in deep pants.

            “Scott…” She tried, but lost her train of thought as he nipped at her skin. “Scott!” She tried again, giving his hair a tug. He let out a deep moan at the feeling, sending another burst of heat through her, and pulled back slightly.

            “What, T? Do you want me to stop?” His eyes were so dark, and he was breathing just as hard as she was. She swore she could almost feel his pounding heartbeat, pressed up against him as tightly as she was.

            “God no.” She replied, “Scott I want you to touch me.” She blushed, but held his gaze.

            “I am touching you.” He replied with another squeeze of her ass and a smirk.

            “No… I want it… here.” She reached down and took one of his hands, guiding it to around to the inside of her thigh and started pulling the hem of her nightdress up. That quickly got his attention and he stepped back.

            “Are you sure, Tess?” He looked at her sharply.

            “Yes. Some of the other girls in Paris talked about it, and I want to know what it feels like. I want this…with you.” She smiled at him in what she hoped was both an encouraging and reassuring way. He seemed convinced enough that he stepped in close again and began to help her raise the fabric further up her legs.

            “Just this tonight, okay?” He said, but Tessa was too distracted to reply. His fingers had brushed the skin above her knee and she’d nearly jumped. He started stroking slightly up and down her inner thigh. “Tess,” he repeated with a smile and she looked up at him, eyes glassy, “What?” She breathed.

            “We’re not going any farther than this.” He said again firmly. She nodded - Tessa would have agreed to anything at that moment to get what she wanted.

            “Alright.” As soon as she agreed he began to slide his hand higher. Tessa found herself widening her stance as if by instinct. When he reached the crease between her thigh and apex she leaned back and closed her eyes. Scott ran his fingers lightly back and forth across the crease, before gently cupping her mound. Tessa bit her lip hard to keep from crying out as one of his fingers started moving against her – the feeling nearly overwhelming.

            After a few moments he moved further to circle her opening, before slipping a finger inside. She cried out then at the unusual intrusion, unable to help herself, and Scott quickly covered her mouth with his. They kissed for a few moments as she got used to the sensation.

           “Is this okay?” He asked, looking in her eyes to make sure she still wanted this. She nodded, and he began to move – pumping his finger in and out of her and then adding a second.

            Tessa’s breath was coming in short gasps now and the feeling between her legs was becoming overwhelming. She felt as if Scott was taking her closer and closer to a cliff’s edge and she was aching to fall off of it – she just needed a little push.

            Scott gently began rubbing at her with his thumb as he continued to pump his fingers in and out. “Come on, T. Let go. Let me see you let go.” And suddenly Tessa was soaring, her mouth dropping open in a silent cry. Exploding into a feeling of such immense pleasure she nearly felt like fainting.

            After a few moments of pure ecstasy she started to come down, her breathing returning to normal. Scott withdrew his hand, looking at the wetness on his fingers curiously, then brought is up to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean. What should seem vulgar only aroused her more as she watched him.

            “Wow…I didn’t know it would feel like _that_.” She whispered, and he grinned at her. With his arm still around her, bodies pressed together, she noticed something pressing into her thigh that she had been too distracted to pay attention to before. She moved her hand and cupped Scott’s erection curiously, but he quickly pulled away.

            “Not tonight, Tess.” He said with a gentle smile.

            “What? Why not. I want to make you feel good too.” She said with a pout. She’d been nearly as curious about this in Paris as she was about her own pleasure. Always picturing Scott when the other girls talked about it – wondering what he looked like under his clothes.

            “This was a pretty big step for us. One thing at a time, eh?” He said, and although Tessa was disappointed, she knew he was right. With a smirk she couldn’t resist promising him, “Fine, but next time, it’s my turn.”

            He leaned down to kiss her again, and she found that it felt even more intimate – knowing what they now shared. “You’re beautiful.” He pulled back to look at her with such reverence Tessa couldn’t help but throw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

            “You’d better head back to the house. If you get caught here your father will have my head. Literally. I think he would kill me, T.” Scott stroked her back softly as she hugged him. When she stepped back, he moved to open the door, slowly at first to he could make sure no one was around.

            “What a shame that would be. I’m quite fond of you.” Tessa teased him, kissing him on the cheek and then scampering off into the dark.

 

            As she crawled into bed that night it suddenly felt very large and empty compared to Scott’s cozy little room. She longed for the day when she hoped she would never have to leave his side. For the first time in her life she fell asleep quickly, basking in the afterglow of the pleasure that he had brought her.

 

* * *

 

           

            Scott undressed and walked over to turn down the lantern on his desk, gazing out of the window just in time to see Tessa turn off the light in her room. He stared for a moment longer, feeling like his heart was there with her, instead of in his small apartment.

            He laid down and folded his arms under his head, a smile permanently fixed to his face. He’d never expected Tessa to do that in a million years, but he’d be a liar if he said he was disappointed or regretted any of it. Scott was completely content to follow her lead, and if she wanted him to _touch her_ , as she’d said, then he would gladly give that to her. He would give everything he had to keep bringing her pleasure like that.

            He rolled over and opened the nightstand by his bed, where he kept the few things that had survived the fire that killed his parents. Inside there was a small box that contained his mother’s wedding ring. It was a simple gold band with five small diamonds across the top. Scott knew it was way too soon to be asking for Tessa’s hand, but he couldn’t resist the hope rising in his chest – knowing that someday it would be the right time, he only had to wait.


	28. Chapter 27: Sympathy for the Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This definitely is explicit...

**Chapter 27: Sympathy for the Devil**

 

           

             In the days that followed their secret rendezvous in Scott’s apartment, Tessa couldn’t stop thinking about what they had done and the way Scott had made her feel. While she sipped her orange juice in the morning she felt the phantom touch of his fingers on her thigh. When she was out walking she found herself nearly stumbling on the path as she remembered the vivid sensations he created between her legs. 

             She had tried recreating the experience on her own in the bath, but it had paled in comparison to the real thing. She was practically aching to return to his room and do it again. They hadn’t had any opportunities to be alone, but every time she saw him the look he gave her told her that he couldn’t stop thinking about it either.

 

              If this was what marriage could bring – and more – she wasn’t sure how people got anything done.

 

               The sermon that Sunday was on chastity and Tessa felt as though all lights in the room were shining on her – certain that one wrong look and the vicar would know what she’d done. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. She didn’t feel that what she and Scott had done was wrong – it felt… beautiful. Like a wonderful new secret that they were sharing together.

 

               Finally after over a week of waiting, another opportunity presented itself. Her parents had gone out of town for the night on a business trip of her father’s, and Tessa was going to take full advantage of the opportunity. She carefully slipped out of the house again, and this time when she knocked quietly on Scott’s door it opened immediately and he pulled her into the room and swept her up into an embrace – kissing her with a week’s worth of pent up passion and longing. If he was surprised to see her tonight, he didn’t show it.

 

               He kissed her like he couldn’t _not_ kiss her. Like she was an oasis in the desert. Hauling her body against his and running his hands through the loose brown waves of her hair. Tessa kissed him back eagerly, until they both finally had to break apart for air.

                “Good evening to you, too.” She said, chuckling at his delightfully rumpled hair and gobsmacked expression. He laughed along with her, squeezing her hip affectionately.

                “Sorry. I’ve just been waiting so long to do that again, I couldn’t help myself.”

                She smiled, kissing him on the cheek before confessing, “Me too. I’ve been watching and waiting carefully to find a time to come down here again. It feels like far too long. Like… now that we’ve done this, I only want to keep doing this.”

                Scott groaned and kissed her again, his hips thrusting lightly into hers. She could feel him, semi-hard in his pants, and it sent a flash of heat between her legs.

                “I would not mind if we only did this, but I think someone would notice if we disappeared for a few days.” Scott joked, and Tessa grinned wickedly back at him.

                “A few weeks, you mean.” She said with a tongue-touched smile. “I’ll need more than a few days with you.”

                She leaned back, watching him carefully as she raised the hem of her nightgown, and Scott gulped audibly as he waited. Never taking his eyes off of her hands. Once she had removed it completely – baring herself to him, Scott dropped to his knees. Peppering kisses across the skin of her pale thighs.

                Tessa’s head fell back against the wall with a moan, and Scott took that as encouragement that he should continue. He worked his way up her legs, until – with one last look at her – he ran his tongue along the crease of her center.

                She cried out in surprise, hips bucking into his mouth. And Scott pulled back to ask if she was okay. If she wanted him to continue. Tessa didn’t say anything, merely grabbed his hair and pushed him a little back towards her with a nod. Her face shy, yet eyes blazing with desire.

                Scott went to work in earnest then, determined to bring her pleasure. Bringing one hand up, he slipped a finger inside as his tongue stroked the little nub that seemed to bring out the best reactions in her. Tessa writhed above him, crying out whenever he licked or kissed in a particular way.

                Eventually, Scott added another finger, and Tessa became desperate. “Scott, please. _Please_.”

                He wrapped his lips around her and _sucked_ , and Tessa’s back arched as she cried out silently.

                Scott stood and waited until her breathing had returned to normal, before kissing her softly, brushing a few strands of her wild hair behind her ear. “Good?” He couldn’t resist asking, wanting to hear her say it.

                Tessa smiled and kissed him again. “Yes, but now it’s your turn.”

 

                She lead him backwards to the bed before commanding him to remove his clothes. She blushed, but kept her eyes determinedly fixed on him, and it gave Scott the confidence to strip down – until he was as naked as she was.

                “Can I touch you?” She asked sweetly, and Scott knew he was done for. She was a temptress and he’d never been able to say no to her. Never would. She had his heart forever.

                “Please do.”

                Tessa walked towards him, reaching out with both hands to run them along his chest – finger dipping into every curve and scratching across his muscles – before she finally let them trail down, cupping him experimentally.

                His legs nearly gave out and he had to grab her hand and stop her. “I think I’d better lay down, if that’s okay.”

                She smiled and nodded, climbing onto the bed first and then watching as he followed her. Scott laid down on his back and waited to see what she would do.

                Her touch was tentative at first, but she grew bolder as he moaned and bucked into her hand – seeking more from her.

                “Do you… know what you like?” Her voice was soft and quiet, and Scott nodded a little sheepishly, hoping she wouldn’t be too scandalized to learn that he had pleasured himself, but she just made a pleased sound in the back of her throat and said, “Show me.”

                God, would he ever stop being surprised by this woman? He hoped not. He wrapped his own hand around hers, showing her just how much pressure and speed to use. And it wasn’t long before he was on the verge of reaching ecstasy himself.

                At that moment, as if she knew, Tessa surged forward and covered his mouth with hers. Swallowing his moans as he came on their hands and his stomach.

                When he had finished, she leaned back – looking supremely satisfied with herself – and reached for his discarded shirt to clean both of them up.

                After she’d dropped it back on the floor, Scott pulled her down and tucked her into his side, wrapping the blanket around them.

                He wanted to tell her he loved her right then, and he had just opened his mouth to speak when Tessa tensed and sat up with a deep sigh.

 

                “I should really go. It’s going to be dawn soon.” Scott nearly begged her to stay, consequences be damned. But she dressed quickly and then turned back to where he was now sitting on the edge of the bed. She kissed him soundly and caressed his cheek, loving the way his eyes closed at the pleasure of her touch. “I’ll see you later.”

 

* * *

 

 

            For the two of them, Scott’s room had become a private oasis. There they were just Scott and Tessa – free to be themselves and explore each other’s bodies to their hearts’ content. They were growing bold – and Tessa had started sneaking out to visit him during the night a few times a week.

 

            Tessa reclined on Scott’s bed, watching him where he was kneeling between her legs. One of her knees was bent, foot resting on the mattress, the other Scott had pulled up to rest on his shoulder – giving him the room he wanted to run his hand up and down her soft skin, from ankle to thigh and back.

            “I have sympathy for the devil now.” He murmured as he placed a soft kiss on her ankle. Tessa had been enjoying his gentle touch, eyes closed, but she opened them at his comment.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well, if Eve looked like you, who wouldn’t want to tempt her to sin?”

            Tessa laughed a little, even as she blushed, “I think that may be sacrilegious.”

            Scott lowered her leg to the bed and crawled over her, placing kisses along her stomach and sternum on his way. “What’s my punishment?” He looked up at her with a wicked glint in his eye as he took one of her breasts in his mouth. 

            Feeling bold, Tessa nudged his shoulder so that she could roll them over. Once she was straddling his waist, she grabbed his hands, forcing them against the mattress. “You don’t get to touch me.”

            “T, I was kidding.” Scott complained, staring up at her looking almost comically sad.

            “Ah, ah. If you want absolution you must do your penance.” She didn’t know where this was coming from, but teasing him like this was making her feel powerful. She enjoyed the way Scott looked momentarily surprised, but then played along – arching into her touch, but not moving his hands.

            Tessa lowered herself slowly to rub her center along his erection, resting her hands against his chest for support. Scott's hands shot out to grab her hips. “Tess, you can’t… not inside. You can’t get pregnant.”

            Gripping his wrists gently, Tessa pulled them off her body and placed them back onto the bed. “I know. I’ll be careful.”

            She went back to slowly rocking against him, her eyes closed and head thrown back. Scott could hardly stand it. She felt so good – warm and wet and looking like a goddess above him. If he died here, it would be from perfect bliss.

            “Please let me touch you.” He grunted after a few minutes of the delicious torture that she was putting him through. Her breathing had sped up and she was making the little noises that let him know she was close. “ _Please, Tess.”_

            “No.” She laughed and pressed down against him harder, making his eyes roll back. His hands were gripping the sheets so tightly he was sure there would be tears in them. After a few more moments Tessa’s mouth dropped open as she went stiff, and Scott had to touch her then. He sat up quickly, placing his mouth over her breast and sucking on her nipple, driving her pleasure higher. His hands spread wide against her back - holding her to him. She grabbed his hair and tugged in response, and with a few thrusts against her, Scott was coming too.

            He fell back against the pillows, pulling her down with him. Tessa was breathing hard, draped across his chest and loving the feeling of her bare skin pressed against his. “That felt good.” Tessa murmured, lips moving against his chest. When Scott didn’t reply she began to grow self-conscious. “Scott? Was I… it... too much? Did you not like it?”

            Scott laughed then, making her bounce a little, “Not _like_ it? Tess, is was fucking amazing. You’ve got to give me a second to recover.”

            She grinned and lifted her head up to kiss him. “Good. I liked it too.”


	29. Chapter 28: Oye Como Va

**Chapter 28: Oye Como Va**

 

            As the weeks went by and the weather turned cold, Scott and Tessa became more and more careless in their affection – from sneakily caressing hands whenever they passed each other to full on passionate kissing in the garden between a few particularly tall topiaries. Frankly, it was a miracle that they hadn’t been caught. They were high on each other and the new discoveries that they were making in the dark of Scott’s bedroom.

 

            One afternoon Tessa came sauntering into the stables. She normally tried to avoid visiting them too often, in order to prevent her parents from thinking she spent too much time there, but today she couldn’t resist the desire to see Scott - even if only for a moment.

            She found him at the end of the row, filling buckets with water for the horses. “Good afternoon, Mr. Moir.” She greeted him with a coy smile.

            He looked up and grinned at her, “Good afternoon, Miss Virtue. How can I help you today?”

            “I thought you might be interested in a treat .”

            Scott washed his hands quickly in the bucket of clean water that they kept nearby, and then sauntered over to where she was standing, sliding two arms around her waist.

           "What kind of treat did you have in mind?" 

           "Something sweet. That I happen to know is your favorite." She smiled coquettishly, looking up at him from under her eyelashes. 

            "My favorite kind, eh? You'll have to remind me." 

            Tessa leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him backwards into an empty stall. 

            They kissed and kissed and Tessa was in heaven. Scott slipped his leg between hers as he caged her in against the wall, and Tessa couldn't resist her instincts to grind against it a little. Moving slowly against his thigh. Scott leaned back to catch his breath, his fingers digging into her waist. 

            "Let's go upstairs." Tessa suggested boldly. 

            "Right now? In the middle of the day?" Scott asked, surprised, but not opposed to the idea. It was risky, but desire did that to people. 

            "Yes, right now. I want to  _feel good_ , Scott." He leaned in and kissed her again, mouth slanting against hers as he moved his thigh a little higher - giving her better leverage. 

           "Okay. Let's go. I want to watch your face in the sunlight when you -" 

 

             

            The sound of a throat clearing from behind them brought them back to the present like a bucket of ice cold water. Scott quickly pulled away from her to see who it was, her skirt dropping to the floor with a  _whoosh_ , their hearts pounding.

            “Patch!” Scott said – a mixture of relief and embarrassment as Patch stepped into view.

            He looked back and forth between them, taking in their disheveled appearances. “I think you should go back up to the house, Tessa.” Neither of them had ever heard Patch sound like that. So austere and displeased.

            Tessa stepped out of the stall, as red as a beet. “I think I will. Bye Scott.” She glanced at him in concern before quickly leaving – anxious to be out from under the judgmental stare that Patch was giving them.

 

            After she had left, Scott tried to diffuse the tension. He let out a small chuckle and ran his hand through his hair – only succeeding in making it messier. “Um… about what you saw...”

            “I didn’t see anything, but I heard enough.” Patch cut him off with a disapproving scowl. Scott turned red at that – knowing what he had been about to say to Tess. “What do you think you’re doing, Scott?”

            Something about his voice made Scott instantly defensive, “What do you mean?”

            “This is Tessa, not some girl you picked up down at the pub.”

            “I know that!” Scott protested.

            “Then what are you doing – sneaking around with her and doing God knows what. What if it had been somebody else who walked in here and not me?”

            “Look, we'll be more careful - I promise. But I love her, Patch. We want to be together.” Scott felt suddenly vulnerable, he had thought if anyone would understand and be on their side, it would be Patch.

            “I know you do, Scott. I’ve known that for years. And I want the two of you to be happy, I do. But you’re not married – not even engaged. And she’s a Virtue, her parents, no matter how kind they are, are definitely going to put up a fight against any courtship between the two of you.”

            Scott knew that only too well. “She’s twenty-one. They can’t tell us what to do anymore.” He replied a bit petulantly.

            “And if she ends up pregnant?” Patch fixed him with a serious stare.

            “She won’t. We aren’t – we don’t – it’s not like that.” Scott stuttered, not sounding convincing even to himself.

            “From what I heard, you’re not far off from doing _that_. This kind of careless behavior could get you both into trouble.” Patch lectured. “Figure out what you want Scott, and what Tessa really wants – and then do the right thing. That’s all I’m saying.” He continued with a resigned sigh.

            Scott paused, thinking of the ring upstairs in his room, “I will.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Tessa rose early, quietly putting on her warmest clothes and thickest socks. The lake had finally frozen over and the ice was thick enough that Scott said they could skate on it. She was supposed to meet him down there early this morning. He had seemed particularly eager for them to skate together, hinting at some sort of surprise, and Tessa would be lying if she said she didn’t hope that it might be a proposal. It had been a couple of months since his birthday, and Tessa hoped he was ready to take the next step and make their relationship official. 

            They both figured that if they left early enough, everyone else would still be asleep and wouldn’t notice that they were gone. Tessa particularly wanted to avoid running into Patch – who she had been hiding from ever since he had caught them in the stables. She didn’t know what he’d said to Scott, but she didn’t want to risk his disapproving stare again.

            Tessa grabbed her skates and snuck downstairs, tiptoeing through the hallway and listening carefully for anyone who might be up and about. She was nearly to the door when she turned the corner and came face to face with her mother.

            “Tessa!” She shrieked as Tessa let out a small scream of her own. “You nearly scared me to death! What are you doing?” Her mother took in her appearance and the skates dangling from her hand. “Are you going _skating?”_

            “Yes, I am.” Tessa replied with a confidence that she didn’t really feel. Of all people to catch her, it had to be her mother. Tessa was mortified.

            “By yourself? This early in the morning?” Her mother was looking at her suspiciously and Tessa began to worry. If she caught even a whiff of scandal, her mother would send Scott away in a blink.

            “It’s great exercise, and I missed it while I was in Paris. I knew you wouldn’t approve, so I thought I would go early when I had a better chance of being alone.” She replied with a shrug, and began to walk past her mother towards the door.

            “I understand you wanting to recreate some childhood memories and experiences, Tessa, but I hope you won’t behave this way when Monsieur Cizeron arrives.”

            Tessa stopped dead in her tracks.

            “Wait. _WHAT?_ ” She spun around, hoping she hadn’t just heard what she thought she did.

            “Darling, I noticed how sad you were when you arrived home, and I know it’s improved lately, but I couldn’t help but think it was because you regretted refusing Guillaume’s proposal last year. So I took the liberty of writing to him and inviting him for Christmas, and he accepted.”

            “Mother, you didn’t!” Tessa was in shock. Is this what a panic attack felt like? Because she thought she might be having one. Her heart was pounding and she started seeing black around the edges of her vision. How could this have happened? How could she have given her mother such a monumentally wrong impression?

            “I did. Oh, darling, you’ll see how happy this makes you. I told you there is always a second chance.” She leaned in and kissed Tessa on the cheek. “Enjoy your skating. I’ll see you for breakfast and we can work on a design for your dress for the ball.”

           

            Tessa walked down to the lake in a stupor. Blind to the path before her. When Scott saw her he ran to greet her. He was buzzing with energy and immediately gave her a warm kiss, which she was just beginning to return when he put his hands in on her shoulders and pulled back – looking her in the eyes.

            “What’s wrong?”

            Curse him and his ability to read her like an open book!

            “Nothing.” She tried to smile reassuringly and move past him towards the ice.

            “Tess, just tell me.” He stopped her, looking so earnestly concerned and reaching for her hand.

            She knew she wouldn’t be able to get him to drop the subject, so she said, “I ran into my mother this morning.”

            Worry flitted across his face. “Does she suspect anything?”

            “I don’t think so. Although she doesn’t exactly approve of me ice skating.” Tessa shrugged in what she hoped was a casual manner.

            “Well… tell her that you were ice _dancing_ instead. She likes dancing.” He smiled at her, trying to lift her mood.

            “What?” Tessa asked with a laugh.

            “Come on.” Scott tugged at her hand and pulled her over to sit on a rock. They laced up their skates before setting out on the ice. After going around a few times so that Tessa could get used to skating again after so long, Scott pulled her into a waltz position.

            “You can’t be serious.”

            “Come on, T. How hard could it be?” He grinned his patented Scott Moir grin and began to lead her in a dance across the lake.

            They couldn’t stop laughing as they twirled around and around, and Tessa was surprised that this ice dancing thing actually sort of worked.

            “I think we’ve invented a new sport.” Tessa grinned at him, her earlier worries forgotten for the time-being. She let him lead her around the ice and enjoyed the way he would caress her arms or kiss her shoulder periodically - she loved the intimacy that they now shared. Why ruin the morning with unhappy thoughts? She could always decide what to tell him later.

            “Did you have something else planned for this morning?” She prodded as they put their boots back on. He hadn’t been acting unusual – maybe she had imagined his eagerness when he issued the invitation.

            “Um… sort of. But now’s not the right time. You were sad – the surprise can wait for a better day.” He spoke in a way that was reassuring, but also told her he didn’t want to discuss it anymore. Feeling a little disappointed, Tessa let it slide.

 

            Later that day, when she was back in her bedroom getting warm and dry, she knew she had to confront what her mother had done, how she felt about it, and what she was going to do now.

            She sat down in front of her fireplace and stared at the flames. She was furious at her mother, of course. She had acted completely out of turn and now brought this awkwardness upon them. And it was sure to be awkward, for Tessa had no intention of playing to Guillaume's ego this time. She would make it clear that she wasn’t interested in him at all.

            Looking back on the past few months, Tessa could recall snippets of conversations with her mother that could be construed as regret over Guillaume, if one was looking for that – although it had been the farthest thing from her mind. Even if her mother _had_ thought she regretted refusing him, she still had no right to go behind her back and invite him here. She should have asked!

            But it was too late for that now. Guillaume was coming, so what should she tell Scott? If she told him that her mother had invited Guillaume specifically, she would have to tell him the whole story and explain just who he was. And if she did that, well it might upset the amazing thing between them right now. But if she didn’t tell him and he found out some other way, he would be devastated.

            Tessa loved their relationship. It was building so beautifully and she knew that they were moving towards a real commitment. He hadn’t proposed that morning, but she felt confident that they were heading towards that. She couldn’t bear the idea of anything ruining what they had. There was no way Scott could have known about her relationship with Guillaume. Who would have told him? The only people who had known were her parents, and they hardly spoke to Scott. So surely it was better not to say anything, and just let Guillaume come and go in silence. After all, wasn’t ignorance bliss? After he left she and Scott could continue on and everything would be fine. They ran in different social circles, so it was unlikely that they would interact or Scott would hear any gossip.

            Feeling uneasy, Tessa went about her day in a daze. She tossed and turned all night, agonizing over what to do. 

 

            When she next saw him, it was down in the stables. She sat down on a bale of hay to read _The Call of the Wild_ \- they were just beginning the book, and after a quick greeting, she opened it up and began to read aloud.

            “Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tide-water dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego…” Tessa let her voice taper off. She was too distracted to focus on the words.

             Deciding to just get it over with, she blurted out, “Scott I have to tell you something.” It came out sounding desperate and she cringed as he immediately turned to look at her in alarm.

             “What’s wrong?”

             “I invited my friend Kaitlyn and her husband Andrew to visit for Christmas. And my mother has invited a few other people from Paris as well. So we’ll have a busy household for a little while. It might be hard for me to see you as often, but it doesn’t mean anything. You know how my mother is about being a good host.”

            Scott let out a little laugh, “Is that all?” He looked around for a moment before walking over and planting a little kiss on her lips, “I think we can handle a few extra people. Although I will miss you sneaking into my room. You’ll have to make it up to me after the holidays are over.” He stood back up, smile dropping into a little frown at her downcast expression. "Is there something else?" 

           "I..." Tessa hesitated, and then chickened out, "I'm just going to miss it too. Your room, I mean." 

            He winked, and Tessa smiled at him, hoping her face didn’t give her away. He seemed to accept her answer, and so she opened the book again.

            _You're a coward, Tessa Virtue_ she thought to herself. But with any luck, she could avoid spending too much time with Guillaume and keep him away from Scott until he left. She tried to feel confident that she could get through this with their relationship unscathed. After all, what could go wrong in just a couple of short weeks?

 


	30. Chapter 29: El Tango de Roxanne

**Chapter 29: El Tango de Roxanne**

           Tessa started for the stables many times in the days that followed, only to turn away at the last second. She couldn’t seem to make herself commit to telling Scott about Guillaume. It should be simple - tell him the truth, explain that it was all in the past, move on. But Tessa didn’t know how Scott would take it, and that terrified her.

            She was counting down the days until Kaitlyn’s arrival, hoping that her friend could provide a much needed distraction.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Kaitlyn!” Tessa cried, rapidly descending the stairs and running into her friend’s arms. “Oh I’m so glad to see you.” She pulled back, taking in her friend's appearance. “And you’re with child!”

            “Yes.” Kaitlyn was grinning. “I wanted to tell you as soon as we found out, but Andrew thought it would be more fun to surprise you.”

            “How far along are you?”

            Kaitlyn caressed her small bump, “About four months.”

            “I’m so happy for you both.” Tessa grinned at Kaitlyn and Andrew, who was standing behind her giving the two girls a chance to catch up. Tessa was pleased to see how happy marriage seemed to be making both of them. They were practically glowing.

            “Thank you, Tessa.” Andrew said, wrapping an arm around his wife.

            “Here, let me show you to your room. You must be tired after your journey.” Tessa lead them upstairs and down the hall towards the guest rooms.

            “Oh no, just give me a moment to freshen up and then I want a tour of the home you’ve spoken so much about.” Kaitlyn kissed her cheek and then stepped inside the bedroom with Andrew.

            Tessa was ecstatic at having her friend back, even if just for a short while. She couldn’t wait to show her around Ilderton Manor and chat like they used to.

 

            That afternoon she and Kaitlyn bundled up and took a walk around the snowy grounds.

            “And those are the stables.” Tessa pointed across the courtyard. At that moment, Scott walked out to retrieve a bucket by the door, noticing Tessa and giving them a small wave.

            Tessa returned it, cheeks turning pink from something other than the cold. Kaitlyn looked back and forth between them suspiciously.

            “That’s Scott, isn’t it?” Without waiting for Tessa’s reply she tugged her in that direction. “Introduce me.”

            “What!?” Tessa could barely manage – this was _not_ part of her plan for the tour, at least not on the very first day, and she wasn’t sure how it was going to go. She followed helplessly as Kaitlyn walked confidently into the warm stables.

            “Um… Hi Scott.” Tessa said once they were inside, feeling unsure of herself.

            “Hi, T.” He smiled at her, the soft look on his face instantly told Kaitlyn what she needed to know. If they thought they were hiding their relationship, they weren’t doing a good job. She cleared her throat, breaking their gaze.

            “Oh!” Tessa jumped a little, remembering her surroundings, “Scott, this is my dearest friend, Kaitlyn Wea… I mean Pojé.” She corrected herself with a laugh. “Kaitlyn, this is…”

            “Scott Moir.” She finished for her, holding out her hand and shaking Scott’s confidently. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” She eyed him up and down critically.     

            “You as well, Mrs. Pojé. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He smiled back, completely unbothered by her appraisal of him.

            “Oh, call me Kaitlyn. Mrs. Pojé is my mother-in-law.”

            “Alright then, Kaitlyn.” Scott stepped back with a smile. Kaitlyn noticed that he had moved closer to Tessa in the process – as if gravitating to her side.

            “What are you ladies up to today?”

            “Tessa is showing me all the reasons that she loves Ilderton.” Kaitlyn said honestly, satisfied at the way Tessa blushed and Scott threw her a little smile.

             “Is that so? Well, Tess has always loved the stables.” He winked at Tessa, and Kaitlyn nearly let out a snort in disbelief. They were so obvious.

             Satisfied that she now knew the truth of the situation, she moved to leave. “It was nice to meet you, Scott, but I should really return to my husband. Come along, Tess.” There were a few things that she needed to discuss with her best friend.

            They turned to go, but Kaitlyn didn’t miss the way Scott let his fingers glide along Tessa’s thigh before he went back to his work.

            Once they were back outside Kaitlyn said, “You seem so much happier now than when I last saw you.”

            “I am.” Tessa ducked her head with a private smile.

            Kaitlyn hesitated for a moment. “Your mother told me that she invited Guillaume to visit.”

            “Yes.” Tessa’s face soured. “He arrives this afternoon.”

            “Have you told Scott?”

            “No. Why would I?” She said it like the idea of telling Scott was ridiculous, but couldn’t hide the worry in her eyes.

            “Because you’re sleeping with him.” Kaitlyn had come to a stop and fixed her with a serious stare.

            Tessa went bright red. “I am not!”

            “Oh, Tessa, I’ve known you for too long not to see the change in you. And only a blind person would miss the look in Scott’s eyes when he sees you. That boy is more obvious than a Clydesdale in a herd of ponies.” She laughed and gave Tessa a kind, understanding smile.

            “I’m not… we aren’t… we haven’t… that is, I haven’t given myself to him in that way.” Tessa stumbled over herself. The _yet_ at the end of that sentence went unsaid, but was very much implied.

            “Ah, but you have in other ways. It’s alright, you know, I did things with Andrew too. But we were engaged.” She arched an eyebrow at Tessa, the implication clear.

            “We haven’t talked about it, but… I have reason to expect that it will happen soon.” Tessa fiddled with her hands.

            “But he hasn’t yet. You don’t want to do something you end up regretting.” Kaitlyn gently laid a hand over Tessa’s.

            “I could never regret anything with Scott.” Tessa looked at Kaitlyn fiercely.

            Kaitlyn reached for her arm. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I only want to tell you to be careful.”

            Tessa gave her a small smile. “I know, and I appreciate it. Now let’s go get warm.”

  

* * *

 

 

            Guillaume arrived by train that afternoon. Tessa greeted him with her parents on the front steps of the house like they wanted, grateful that Scott was nowhere in sight.

            He stepped out of the carriage, looking around at Ilderton with ill-disguised disdain, before walking towards her. “Tessa, my darling, it’s wonderful to see you again.” He kissed her on each cheek and Tessa had to resist the urge to wipe off where his lips had touched.

            “Hello Guillaume. I hope you had a pleasant journey.”

            “Not particularly. Your Canada pales in comparison to France. But the chance to spend time with you makes the visit worthwhile.”

            Tessa felt her blood boiling, but she saw the way her parents were watching them and kept her mouth shut. It was going to be a long two weeks if he was like this the whole time. "May I introduce you to my parents? My mother, Mrs. Kate Virtue - I know the two of you have already shared correspondence."

            "Madame." Guillaume bowed low, kissing Kate's hand.

            "It is a pleasure to meet you at last, monsieur. Welcome to our home." Kate was blushing a little, clearly flattered by his attention, and Tessa couldn't help but roll her eyes. 

            "And this is my father, Mr. James Virtue." Guillaume shook his hand, looking every bit as confident as he probably felt. 

            "Monsieur. You have a beautiful home, thank you for inviting me to stay." His voice sounded false to Tessa, but her father seemed to buy into it. Tessa sighed quietly as they walked inside the house - wondering if it wouldn't be simpler to just grab Scott and run away. 

 

* * *

 

 

            She, Kaitlyn, and Andrew had a lunch date scheduled with Chiddy and Elizabeth the next day. Tessa was eager to have Kaitlyn meet her other best friend. Unfortunately, once her mother caught wind of her plans she had to ruin them by reminding Tessa of their other guest.

            “What a splendid idea, Tessa. Of course, you’ll take Guillaume with you, won’t you? He did travel all this way…”

            With a grimace Tessa acquiesced to her mother's wishes.

 

            The restaurant they went to was casual and inviting – a favorite of Tessa’s and within Chiddy’s budget as a teacher.

            “Patrick, this is my best friend from Paris, Kaitlyn Poje, and her husband Andrew. And this is Guillaume Cizeron, another friend from Paris.” Tessa cringed at the way Guillaume was looking at Chiddy – or more specifically, Chiddy’s suit, which was clearly not from the finest store on the Champs-Elysees like Guillaume’s was.

            “Oui, a pleasure, I am sure.” Guillaume nodded and lead Tessa to her seat between him and Kaitlyn. He held her hand as she sat down, and Tessa quickly pulled it away as soon as she could.

            Kaitlyn broke the silence with a kind smile and addressed Chiddy, “It’s very nice to meet you, Patrick. Tessa tells me that you and Miss Cooper are recently engaged. Congratulations!” Tessa had never felt more grateful for her friend, who always seemed to smooth over any awkward situation and could show genuine interest in anyone.

            “Thank you.” Chiddy smiled and took Liz’s hand.

            “And what is it that you do, Patrick?” Andrew asked as he took a sip of his water.

            Guillaume leaned over uncomfortably close, “The service here is terrible. I wish you would have let me pick the restaurant, my dear.”

            Tessa leaned away from him and pretended not to hear. “Patrick teaches at the local school. We’re all very proud of him.” She beamed at Chiddy, full of pride for her friend. He had worked hard to get to where he was. 

            “A teacher?” Guillaume’s mouth tilted up in a cruel smile. “You have friends in such interesting circles, here, Tessa. Far from the lords and ladies and wealth of Paris.”

            Tessa opened her mouth, eyes blazing, but Kaitlyn shot a hand out to her knee to stop her. Instead of yelling, she said through gritted teeth, “Chiddy is worth a hundred of those people. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

            “Yes, well, it’s not as if you had the opportunity for much else here.” Guillaume turned and snapped his fingers for the waiter, ordering a bottle of their most expensive wine.

            Tessa leaned over to Kaitlyn, “I’m going to kill him.”

            Kaitlyn smothered her laugh behind the back of her hand, “I would advise against it, although if you do, I believe there are four people here who would help you hide the body.”

            The rest of the lunch did not go any better, and everyone was relieved when it was finished and they could part ways.

            “I’m so sorry, Chiddy.” Tessa whispered as they were all putting on their coats.

            “Don’t worry about it, Tess.” Chiddy smiled kindly at her – his eyes saying he held no grudge or anger. Tessa breathed a sigh of relief and bid him and Liz farewell.

 

 

 

            “The man is a prick.” Chiddy said as he handed Scott a brush that evening after lunch with Tessa and her friends. Scott chuckled. This Frenchman must be bad, for Chiddy of all people to be insulting him. “And Tessa clearly can’t stand him. She recoiled every time he touched her.”

            Scott's head shot up. “He touched her?”

            “Calm down. I meant when he offered her his arm – things like that.”

            Scott visibly relaxed and Chiddy couldn’t help but laugh at his friend. He could be so possessive of Tess sometimes.

            “Her parents must have invited him to visit – Tessa certainly didn’t.”

            “Probably want her to marry him.” Scott muttered bitterly.

            “Don’t worry – you and I both know where Tessa’s affection lies.” Chiddy gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

            Scott sighed, “You’re right. Tessa would have told me if he was anyone important.”

 

* * *

 

 

            The following week was consumed with preparations for the Christmas ball. James and Kate Virtue were sparing no expense in what they viewed as their daughter’s grand presentation. They wanted it to be a night to remember. Kate kept Tessa so busy that she didn’t have a chance to get out to the stables all week.

            Finally the day arrived, and for Tessa it couldn’t have come any sooner. She was excited, but also apprehensive. Part of her just wanted the whole thing to be over so that Guillaume would leave and she could be with Scott in peace.

            That afternoon, she was busy getting ready in her room. Her maid had just finished doing her hair and had run down to the servants quarters to retrieve her dress, which had been freshly pressed for the evening. It was made of beautiful red silk with embroidered flowers in the bodice and Tessa loved it. She and her mother had spent hours carefully designing it together.

            She stood in front of her floor-length mirror making sure that her corset was laced right and nothing was tucked oddly – she wanted to feel comfortable so that she could dance. The sound of the door behind her being unlatched caused her to spin around quickly, surprised to find Scott sneaking in through her balcony.

            “Scott!” She whispered sharply, “What are you doing here?” She wasn’t disappointed to see him, on the contrary, but if he was caught her parents would definitely murder them both.

            “I came to see if you remembered our dance lessons. You’ve got to be prepared to show off tonight.” He teased, hoping that he didn’t sound as possessive as he felt. He’d been trying to keep his feelings about the ball in check – jealous of all the men who would get to dance with her while he couldn’t, but the feelings had only been made worse by the lack of opportunities to see her.

            “Hmmm… I don’t know. I think you’d better give me a refresher course.” She teased him back. He walked over and placed a hand on her waist, the other stroking lightly from her neck, across her collarbone and down her arm to take her hand in his – setting her skin on fire and causing it to erupt in goosebumps in the wake of his fingers. The look on his face so intense as his eyes followed the path of his hand that it took her breath away. She couldn’t help but close her eyes and tilt her head a little, hoping he’d take the hint.

            Always observant, Scott understood and leaned down to place a soft kiss at the juncture between her neck and shoulder, smiling as he felt Tessa shudder at the contact.

            “Ready?” He whispered and she opened her eyes to look at him, noticing his eyes were as dilated as hers probably were. Her corset suddenly felt very tight as her breathing became more labored. “Yes.” She whispered.

            Scott led her in a waltz around the room, keeping her close to him every step of the way. They were totally sync just like when they were children – moving as one. Scott kept his gaze on hers the whole time, and Tessa found herself getting lost in his eyes. Nothing existed anymore but the feeling of his hand in hers, the other around her waist, his lips so close…

            After a minute they came to a stop and Scott gazed intently at her. “Tess…I…” he whispered, letting go of her hand to move his hand up to her throat before sliding it up to stroke her mouth with his thumb. Tessa couldn’t stop her breathing from speeding up and her mouth from falling open at his touch. “Yes, Scott?”

            He leaned in to kiss her, the anticipation nearly too much to handle, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Scott moved faster than he ever had in his life – hiding on the floor behind the far side of her bed. Tessa barely had time to recover before her mother was stepping into the room.

            “Tessa dear, I wanted to be the one to help you with your dress. I hope you don’t mind.” Her mother walked over, carrying the dress draped across her arms. “It’s your first ball at Ilderton and I was feeling sentimental.”

            “Of course not. I would love that, mother.” Tessa hoped her voice sounded normal. She couldn’t help but sneak a glance towards her bed, hoping Scott was well-hidden.

            “You seem a little flushed, are you feeling alright?” Her mother had paused, taking in Tessa’s red cheeks and heavy breathing.

            “I’m fine. I think the corset is just a little tight.” Tessa nodded, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

            “We must suffer for beauty sometimes.” Her mother agreed, then walked over to help her step into the beautiful red gown and began lacing her up.

            “I hope you’ll be extra kind to Monsieur Cizeron tonight, Tessa. He came all the way from Paris to see you again and you’ve hardly spoken to him since he arrived.”

            “I did tell you not to invite him, mother.” Tessa tried to put her off, not wanting to have this conversation where Scott could hear. It couldn’t have been worse timing.

            “Nonsense. I know how close the two of you were in Paris. I wanted you to be happy like that again, and you could be, if you would give him a chance.” Tessa placed a hand on her stomach as her mother tightened the stays on the dress.

            “He didn’t make me happy.” Tessa disagreed as much for Scott’s benefit as her mothers.

            “He’s handsome and tall, and he comes from a good family with money – and he’s an Olympian! What else could you possibly want? You could do a lot worse than that, dear. Many women would jump at the chance to marry him.”

            Tessa winced at the pain Scott must be feeling to hear her mother talk this way. “I’m not one of those women, and I don’t love him.” She said firmly.

            “Tessa, love can come later. What starts as friendship can grow into truly caring for one another – just like I had with your father.”

            Tessa could have laughed at that – her mother had it right, but about the wrong man. “Guillaume is a fine man, but…” But her mother cut her off.

            “You look absolutely beautiful, darling. This red is magnificent on you. Let’s go down now and show your father. And please, be kind to Guillaume and give him a chance tonight – it’s what your father and I want.”

            Tessa let her mother lead her away, hoping Scott understood that she didn’t care for Guillaume and her mother wasn’t going to persuade her otherwise, however hard she might try.

 

            When Scott was sure they had gone and he was alone, he stood up – feeling angry and hurt - and snuck back out to the stables. His emotions a turbulent mess and his thoughts churning.

            Who was this Guillaume that Tessa had never mentioned but was suddenly a contender for her love? Was it the man she had been rumored to be engaged to in Paris? Could it be the same man that had lunch with Chiddy yesterday? He hadn’t thought anything of him, but now he wondered. Clearly her parents were pushing the match – something Scott was certain they wouldn’t be doing unless they thought there was a chance that it would work out. He knew firsthand how much her parents cared about who she married.

            He began violently distributing hay to the horses, hardly noticing when Patch walked in, immediately sensing his sour mood.

            “Alright, what’s wrong?” He asked warily.

            “Nothing. Just not looking forward to the extra work that this ball will bring.” Scott replied grumpily, hoping Patch would accept the answer and leave him alone.

            “Now that’s a lie. You’re never like this unless it’s Tessa related.” He pushed, “Did you two fight?”

            “Drop it, Patrice.” Scott warned with a glare.

            “Did she…” But before he could finish the sentence the housekeeper walked in.

            “Ah, Scott, excellent. We are expecting a large amount of guests tonight and Mrs. Virtue has requested that you step in as an extra footman. She wants to make sure tonight goes perfectly for Miss Tessa.” 

            Scott groaned internally. He’d filled in a few times in the past few years, but tonight of all nights he wanted to stay safely hidden in the barn.

            “Fine.” He acquiesced, knowing he had no choice. He went upstairs to change his clothes, trying not to think about how he was going to have to watch Tessa dancing for hours – with someone other than himself.

            “Scott…” Patch began after Scott had changed into his livery, placing a hand on his shoulder before he walked out the door, “Whatever you’re angry about, please don’t do anything foolish tonight.”

            Scott clenched his jaw, but nodded, and then headed up to the main house.

 

            Tessa’s stomach was full of butterflies – her thoughts vacillating between how happy she was to be at the ball and how much she wanted to talk to Scott. So far the night had been going well. She was thrilled that Kaitlyn and Andrew could be there experiencing this with her. Guillaume was being annoyingly attentive, but she was trying not to let him spoil the night.

            She was busy greeting guests at the door with her parents when she spotted a head of dark hair that she instantly recognized. The crowd shifted at that moment, and she saw Scott standing across the room dressed as a footman. She was pleasantly surprised and relieved to see him there. Hopefully she would be able to sneak bits of conversation with him throughout the night.

            Not long after everyone had arrived and had a chance to mingle her parents announced that it was time to go in for dinner. Guillaume took her by the arm immediately, probably at her parent’s design, but Tessa smiled at him and graciously thanked him. She was determined to be the perfect host tonight, like her parent’s wanted.

            She was dismayed to find that he was seated next to her at dinner as well, but she kept her reaction hidden. Her parents were pushing this relationship hard, and Tessa could see that she would have to do something about it once and for all. Tonight she would smile and curtsy and dance, but tomorrow she would tell her parents firmly that they needed to stop.

            Throughout dinner Tessa tried to catch Scott’s eye while he helped serve the food – hoping to share a smile – but he seemed to be avoiding her  gaze.

 

            Meanwhile Scott felt like he was living through his own personal hell. He had figured out that the tall Frenchman staying attached to Tessa’s side was indeed this Guillaume Cizeron – destined to be her husband. He had been tortured by the snippets of gossip he had been forced to listen to throughout the arrivals in the foyer – everyone speculating that an engagement would surely be announced tonight.

            All night he had been forced to watch Guillaume look at her, talk to her, _touch_ her. The man held back nothing -  stroking her arm or leaning in to talk close, kissing her cheek whenever he parted from her to go talk to someone else. The smug look on his face as he gazed at Tessa, often bordering  on being lascivious, made Scott want to throw up or punch him – or both.

            Now they were seated together at dinner and Scott had hoped to see some discomfort from Tess, but she seemed completely at ease as she conversed with the man. He knew Tessa was trying to catch his eye, but he purposely avoided her. He couldn’t bear to see the pity he was sure would be there.

            After dinner everyone moved to the ballroom for dancing, and if Scott thought he was being tortured before it was nothing compared to the sight of Guillaume taking Tessa’s hand for the first dance – a waltz.

            He moved about the room with his tray full of champagne flutes, unable to look away from Tessa. Her red dress shimmering and glowing like a flame, drawing him in. The lights making her dark hair shine. Her smile wide and happy. She had never looked more beautiful, and Scott had never felt so distanced from her. As he walked he heard people talking about the pair, even though other people had joined the dance - Tessa and Guillaume were still the center of attention.

            “What a handsome couple.”

            “They dance so magnificently.”        

            “I heard that they became secretly engaged in Paris.”

             “A spring wedding would be lovely.”

            “Mrs. Virtue told me many times how much Tessa adored Paris. I’m sure she must be ecstatic at the prospect of moving back there once they’re married.”

            “It can only be a matter of time before Mr. and Mrs. Virtue announce the engagement – maybe even tonight.”

             “Look at the way they dance – they’ve done this many times.”

             “Tessa has certainly become a good actress.” He overheard Kaitlyn say to her husband.

             “They look like a couple to me.” Andrew agreed.

             “That’s what her parents want, but…”

              Scott could hear no more. He felt sick. All of the talk and gossip, accompanied by the smiles Tessa and Guillaume gave each other as they danced – familiar smiles – was making him feel like he was suffocating. He set down his tray and fled.

 

              Scott had never been a violent man. Passionate – yes – but never violent. But that night he couldn’t contain his anger and frustration and jealousy. When he reached the dark of his bedroom he walked straight over to his desk and flipped it on its side, an animalistic cry breaking free as he did.

              He fell to his knees, hands pulling at his hair. He was so confused. All of these months together, the laughter, the books, the physical activities shared in the bed that he now couldn’t even bear to look at – it couldn’t be false. Scott knew Tessa too well to think that. But he also knew her parents, he knew the lengths they would go to to make a good match for their daughter. And he knew that Guillaume wanted her – the images of his hands on Tessa flashed through his mind, torturing him further.

              Hadn’t he just heard Kaitlyn say that she was a good actress? So who then was being fooled? Guillaume and the Virtues, or Scott? He had no confidence in his answer.


	31. Chapter 30: The Show Must Go On

**Chapter 30: The Show Must Go On**

            Scott rose early, having hardly slept. His bed still smelled faintly of Tess, and it kept him tossing and turning all night. His dreams had been plagued by images of her with Guillaume - an acute kind of torture. He was still angry, but in the cold light of morning his feelings had simmered - he was ready to talk to her and get an explanation.

            He was alone in the stables that morning, the other groomsmen enjoying the opportunity to sleep in – guaranteed a few extra hours with everyone in the house recovering from the night before. The chances of anyone needing a horse were slim. He had just finished filling the trough for the last horse when he heard someone come in behind him.

            “You there. Boy. I am in need of two horses.”

            Scott went stiff at the distinct French accent, turning around slowly to find Guillaume standing there – looking as if he owned the place.

            “Really? And who will you be riding with?” Scott’s voice was cold. He couldn’t be polite to this man, even at the risk of his job.

            “Not that it’s any of your business, but Mademoiselle Virtue and I will be going for a ride this morning.” 

            Scott’s hands curled into fists. “It’s too cold this morning for any trail rides. You’ll have to come back later.”

            “Nonsense. You’re very impertinent for a servant.” Guillaume looked at him directly for the first time, glancing up and down. “Nevertheless, we will be riding.”

            “Tessa would be doing you a favor by agreeing to go, and it would be the wrong choice.” Scott was no longer talking about the cold weather, and he could see by the tick in Guillaume’s jaw that he understood the double-meaning.

            “Oh, I’m well acquainted with her favors, as it were. She will say yes, she always does.” Scott was seconds away from punching that smirk off the man’s face. “Ready two horses, we will be back for them after breakfast.”

            Guillaume walked away, and Scott turned and punched the wall. His knuckles came away bloody, but the pain in his hand was a welcome distraction from the pain in his heart.

  

* * *

 

 

            The morning after the ball dawned cold and clear. The sunshine belying the frozen tundra outside. Tessa enjoyed the opportunity to sleep in, body aching from all of the dancing the night before.

            She had been dismayed to notice that Scott had disappeared at some point. She had broken away from dancing for a moment and looked for him, only to learn from Kaitlyn that she had seen him leaving not long after the dancing had started. Tessa felt certain that she would have the chance to talk to him today, though, and then she could explain the situation with Guillaume and everything would be fine.

            She stretched languorously, putting off getting out of bed for as long as possible – relishing in the soft mattress and warm blankets. Eventually she forced herself to get up and get dressed for the day, including putting on a warm sweater to help ease the chill in the air, and went down to breakfast.

            “Ah, bonjour mon cheri.” Guillaume greeted her, standing to pull out her chair so that she could sit down next to him. She had rather hoped that he would have eaten breakfast already, but it seemed luck was still not on her side.

            “Good morning.” She replied, disappointed to see him acting as if everything was like it was two years ago in Paris. He really was being very persistent considering she had turned down his proposal so adamantly. She thought she’d been clear then that she didn’t love him and never could, but he must not have believed her. Although it seemed probable that her parents had given him false hope when they invited him to visit.

            “Would you do me the honor of going for a ride this morning? I’m curious about this winter wonderland that you always spoke so fondly of.” Guillaume said. Tessa felt suddenly weary and her head ached.

            “Not today, Guillaume, it’s too cold out.” Tessa was tired of him - his voice, his face, his behavior. Couldn’t he understand that she didn’t want to be with him?

            “Are you sure I cannot persuade you, cheri?”

            “No, it wouldn’t be enjoyable and the poor horses would freeze.”

            “I must say I am disappointed, but no matter. Perhaps another day while I am here.” He replied, unperturbed. Tessa merely hummed in agreement, and hurried to finish her breakfast and then made her excuses and left the dining room.

 

            It was incredibly difficult to hold back from running down to the stables, but Tessa knew if she did she would instantly capture attention and that was exactly what she didn’t want. Instead she walked slowly, trying to come up with the right thing to say. It really was horrifically cold outside that morning, and she pulled her sweater tighter around herself.

            When she entered the stables she immediately looked for Scott, and found him at the end of the stalls cleaning out one of the horse’s hooves. Thankfully there was no one else around – they were free to talk.

            “Here you are.” She smiled as she rushed over to him. “You disappeared last night.”

            He didn’t pause what he was doing as he said, “You seemed pretty occupied.” Tessa’s smile fell as she heard his voice. The cold tone sending ice through her veins.

            “I was dancing a lot I suppose, but I still wanted to see you. I tried to find you at one point, but Kaitlyn said you had left.”

            “I think you had all the attention you needed from someone else.” He sounded bitter, and hurt – refusing to look at her.

            “Scott, Guillaume is just a friend. Nothing more. In fact, he’s hardly even a friend.” She tried to reassure him, pleased when he finally lowered the horses leg and stood to look at her.

            “That’s not what I heard.” And Tessa was full of instant regret that she hadn’t explained the whole situation long before the ball. How could she have been so foolish to think that nothing bad would come from keeping a secret?

            “What did you hear?” She gulped nervously.

            “Oh, the typical gossip. That the two of you were romantically involved in Paris. Even engaged, perhaps. That I’ve been a complete fool. Your father told me about this years ago, but I didn’t want to believe it was true. I guess I should have listened.”

            “What do you mean my father told you?” Tessa demanded.

            “Almost three years ago he came to me and said that you had become serious with a young man and that they were expecting an engagement to come of it.”

            Tessa looked at him, dumbfounded, “That’s why you stopped writing.”

            He didn’t answer, just glared at the wall behind her, folding his arms across his chest defensively – his jaw clenched tight.

            “I can't believe my father actually..." Tessa stopped, closing her eyes, letting out a breath, and refocusing on the task at hand, pushing aside her growing rage at her parents. "No. Scott, no. That’s not… he courted me, and he _did_ propose, it’s true, but I refused him and ended the relationship.” Tessa desperately tried to explain. “I never expected to see him again.”

            “You lied. You kept this from me then, and you kept it from me now. I’ve had to hear about it from your father, and Chiddy, and now random people last night. Never from you! You’re free to be with whoever you want, Tess, but don’t lie to me anymore.” Scott started to walk away and Tessa shot her hand out to grab his arm and stop him.

            “I don’t want to be with anyone else. Yes, I should have told you, but it was over. It IS over. Scott, please.” He pulled is arm out of her grasp and walked over to the workbench -  hammering away at a horseshoe. She followed him and continued, trying to make him understand. “I was young and unsure of myself. I thought he was who I was supposed to be with, and my parents and aunt were encouraging me and I wanted to make them happy.”

            “That’s just it, Tess! Your parents are never going to give us their approval. Oh, I’m alright as a friend, a dance partner behind closed doors, a groom in the stables, but they’re never going to see me as someone worthy of you. They’ve made that clear many times.” Scott tugged at his hair in frustration.

             “Oh who gives a damn what they think!” Tessa had never sworn in her life, but she was so angry and desperate for Scott to understand. “Guillaume wasn’t right for me. I figured that out pretty quickly after he proposed and I didn’t hesitate to tell him no. Then I came home – to you.”

            Scott looked at her then, and she felt bolstered by what she saw in his eyes – like he was starting to believe her. She noticed the bruising on his knuckles and reached down to take his hand, relieved when he let her. “What happened to your hand?” She stroked it gently.

           “It’s nothing. I…” He began, but then the last voice that Tessa wanted to hear spoke from the entrance to the stables behind them. Scott’s eyes hardened again, and his jaw clenched tightly. He pulled his hand out of hers, both hands balling into fists as Guillaume walked over to them. If looks could kill, Guillaume would be dead on the floor right then.

            “I know you said you didn’t want to ride this morning, my dear, but then I saw you come to the stables and thought that maybe you had changed your mind.”

            “No, I needed to talk to Scott.” Tessa brushed him off, not even bothering to look at him – keeping her focus on the man that mattered. But he didn’t seem to take the hint.

            “Well then perhaps you would be kind enough to show me your library today. Your father said you had an excellent book collection. Perhaps we could read together.”

            “Perhaps later.” Tessa spared him a glance, but her eyes immediately returned to Scott - dismayed to see his face looking so resigned. She thought she’d been getting through to him. He turned back to his work.

            “I will wait for you impatiently.” Guillaume replied, and then surprised her by walking up and kissing her cheek before she could stop him. Tessa waited until he had left to turn back to Scott.

            “Scott, can we please talk about this.” She begged.

            “Just go, Tess.” And she knew that he wouldn’t listen to anymore of what she had to say just then.

            Holding back tears, her voice breaking as she said, “If that’s what you want.”

 

            She found Guillaume waiting for her near the entrance of the stables, “Let’s go for a walk.” He held out his arm and she took it.

            “Guillaume… I think we need to talk.”

            “Oui.” He replied with a smile that looked a little too knowing and triumphant for Tessa’s comfort, with a glance back at the stables he said, “What do they say? ‘le spectacle doit continuer’ – the show must go on.”

 

 

            “Why did you come here Guillaume?” Tessa had no patience that morning to beat around the bush. This had to end.

            “I missed you, mon amore. Paris wasn’t the same without you.” He gave her such a smarmy look that Tessa pulled her arm out of his and stopped walking.

            “Oh be honest for once. You know I don’t love you, and I don’t think you love me.” She folded her arms and arched an eyebrow.

            “I don’t love any woman.” Guillaume said, and it was the first time Tessa believed he was telling the truth. “I never will.” He looked at her then, a flash of vulnerability crossing his face, and Tessa began to understand.

            “Then why pursue me? Even after I turned down your proposal?”

            “The thrill of the chase, I suppose. You are the only woman who doesn’t throw herself at me, and that makes you interesting. You come from a good family, you’re wealthy, beautiful, everything that would make my parents happy and be good for a society wife. I may not be in love with you, Tessa, but even I can admit you’re a damn good catch. We would make a good pair.”

            Tessa sighed, “Thank you, I guess. At least I believe you’re telling the truth now. But if you don’t… _love_ … women, why not just stay a bachelor? Many men do. It would certainly make my life easier.”

            Guillaume laughed sarcastically, “You know that’s not true. Not if you want to move in the right circles – make the right connections. Having a wife is important.” He offered her his arm again, which she hesitantly took, and they continued walking. “I’m sorry that I made your life difficult. It was not my intention. There never seemed to be anyone else for you in Paris, and it never occurred to me that might be because your heart was engaged elsewhere.”

            “It’s partly my fault. I didn’t discourage you like I should have back in Paris. But you could have said no when my parents invited you for Christmas.”

            “I admit, my decision to come was selfish. I wanted one more chance to see if I could catch you – the elusive Tessa.”

            Tessa pulled away again, anger boiling close to the surface. “I’m not an _animal_ that you can catch. I have my own thoughts and feelings. It was pointless of you to come. If it’s a society wife you want, you’re better off looking in France.”

            “I think you are probably right about that. I can see now that this was a waste of time. Pity – we could have done great things. But come, you are shivering, let’s go back inside. Maybe now that we understand one another a little better, we can part as friends?”

            Tessa seriously doubted that. She may understand him better, but she didn’t like him any more than before. She merely nodded, eager to get warm in front of the fire.

 

* * *

 

            Tessa’s head ached. Her walk with Guillaume around the grounds in the frozen weather combined with her fight with Scott had left her feeling exhausted and shaken.

            She sat in front of the fire in the sitting room, sipping on some tea with honey in the hopes that it would help ease her symptoms and warm her up.

            “Are you quite alright, Tessa? You don’t look well.” Kaitlyn said as she sat down beside her.

            Tessa made sure they were alone and then confided, “I had a fight with Scott. You were right, Kaitlyn, I should have told him about Guillaume long ago. Now I’ve ruined everything.” A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly.

            “Oh, Tess. That boy loves you. A bone-deep, undeniable kind of love. He’s hurt and upset, but it’s not all ruined.” She wrapped her arms around Tessa in a tight hug.

            “I hope you’re right.” Tessa said with a little sniffle and an attempt at a smile, but Kaitlyn was looking at her with concern. She placed her hand on Tessa’s forehead.

            “Tess, you’re burning up.”

            “Am I? I’m not feeling very well. I think I’ll go up to bed and rest. Please give my apologies to my parents and Andrew.” She stood to go.

            “And Guillaume?” Kaitlyn asked.

            “I think I’ve finally convinced him that I’ll never accept his proposal. I’m sure he’ll leave for Paris soon.” Tessa sighed in relief and Kaitlyn stood up and placed a hand on her arm.

            “Good. I’m glad you finally convinced him. Don’t worry about Scott, he just needs time.” With a quick hug, Tessa left and went upstairs to her bedroom.  

 

            She dropped her clothes on the ground and tugged on her nightgown, climbing into bed. She thought she would lie awake – plagued by her thoughts of the day and the anger she felt towards her parents for helping cause all this trouble – but her head was pounding, and her body ached, and she was simply so exhausted that she fell right asleep.


	32. Chapter 31: Come What May

**Chapter 31: Come What May**

 

            A week had passed since the ball and Scott still hadn’t spoken to Tessa. He was disappointed and a little surprised that she hadn’t tried to see him. Guillaume had left the day after their argument - Scott had watched from a distance as he spoke to Kaitlyn and then got into the carriage - and Scott took that as a good sign, not at all sorry to see the back of that man. He had hoped that Tessa would come down soon to see him now that he was gone, but her continued silence was deafening.

            He had been hurt and furious at Tessa... Guillaume... her parents... but after taking time to cool down he realized that he just wanted to see her and reconcile as soon as possible. Underneath all the arguing and misunderstandings, he just _missed_ her. He was trying to wait patiently, but with each day that passed he grew more worried that maybe she wouldn’t forgive him.

            It was odd actually, the more Scott thought about it, he hadn’t really seen anyone enter or leave the house in the last week, apart from Guillaume. Then yesterday as he lead one of the horses out to the pasture, he saw a coach come up the drive and a doctor step out – immediately rushed into the house by one of the maids. He had hoped it wasn’t something to do with Kaitlyn and her baby.

 

            Now this morning he could see Kaitlyn and Andrew leaving the house with their suitcases. Tessa wasn’t there saying goodbye, but Mrs. Virtue was. Scott was too far away to tell what they were saying, but he was surprised that Tess wasn’t with them bidding farewell. Something felt off.

 

            Later that afternoon he was working in the stables with Patch when the maid Susan walked in. “Mr. Lauzon, can I speak to you?”

            Patch walked over to stand near her and the two started whispering. Scott wasn’t really paying attention until he heard Susan whisper, “Miss Tessa…”

            He immediately stopped what he was doing and walked over, “What about Miss Tessa?”

            Susan turned to him, tears in her eyes, “I’m not supposed to tell you.”

            Scott felt a sudden ache in his chest at the look on Susan’s face. “Tell me what Susan? What’s wrong with Tess?”

            “She’s dying!” A sob burst out of Susan and she fled back up to the house.

 

            Scott felt like his whole world had become inverted. He dropped the tool he was holding, the loud clang as it hit the floor ringing out and spooking some of the horses. But Scott just stood there in shock. Patch gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

            “Scott…?”

            He swallowed, his throat thick, “What did she mean, Patch? She has to be wrong.” He looked at his friend desperately, hating the look of grief and pity in Patch's eyes.

            “Apparently Tessa caught a cold the day after the dance. They thought it was nothing at first, but she got worse. The doctor saw her yesterday – he said it’s pneumonia. The Poje’s had to leave – they were worried Mrs. Poje might catch it if she stayed.” Patch was looking at him with such sorrow, Scott couldn’t handle it.

             "It can't be true." Before he knew what he was doing he had taken off running, leaving Patch calling after him. He had to see Tessa. Immediately. He knew that if he went in through the front door he would be stopped and not allowed to see her, so he went around to the side of the house and climbed up the lattice there to her balcony. Hopping over the ledge he marched over to the door and pulled it open, relieved that it wasn’t locked.

            Tessa’s room was empty, although the bedroom door was open. She was lying in the bed, her dark hair splayed out across the pillow in stark contrast to her pale skin. Even from where he was standing, he could hear her rasping breath.

            Scott closed the balcony door behind him and grabbed the closest chair - dragging it over to the side of her bed, taking her hand in his. It was clammy, but still warm – still Tessa. He lifted it and kissed the ring on her finger.

            Keeping her hand pressed to his lips, he whispered, “I’m here Tess. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, but I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

            Her eyelids fluttered, and he thought he felt a faint squeeze of his fingers. With his other hand he reached up to brush the hair off her forehead, leaning in to kiss her there.

            “I’m sorry we fought.” He whispered, his voice catching in his throat as his eyes began to water. “I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want you to get better. No matter what, I’m here with you. No matter what, I love you.”

            He clung to her hand. Determined to stay by her side until she got better – and she _would_ get better. He had to believe that.

 

 

            It wasn’t long before his vigil was discovered.

            “Scott!” Mrs. Virtue walked in carrying a tray, which she nearly dropped at the sight of him. “How did you get in here? You can’t be here. You need to leave.”

            Scott barely glanced at her. Replying only with a terse, “No.”

            “Now Scott, I know you care for her, but she’s very sick and…”

            Scott turned to look directly at her this time, still holding on to Tessa's hand. “Mrs. Virtue, you can call the police, attempt to have me dragged from the house, but I. Am. Not. Leaving. Her. You don’t get to decide that anymore.”

            Mrs. Virtue’s mouth dropped open. She looked like she was seeing him for the first time - not as a boy, easily manipulated, but as a man. One who loved her daughter and wouldn’t be swayed.

            “Alright, Scott. I understand.” Exhausted and deciding it was easier not to fight him on this, she set the tray down on the table next to him. “See if you can get her to eat or drink something.”

            Scott nodded, relieved that she wasn’t trying to force him to go – not that she could. He turned back to Tessa, missing the way Mrs. Virtue was looking at the two of them.

 

            Kate Virtue walked back down the hall, a little stunned. She entered her husband’s study, where he was sitting with his head in his hands. He looked up at her as she entered.

            “Tessa?” He asked, voice cracking.

            “She’s alright for now. Scott’s with her.” Kate sat down next to him, weary.

            “Scott!?” He moved to stand up and go, but Kate placed her hand on his knee.

            “We’ve lost that battle, James. It’s time to accept it. You didn’t see his face just now. Scott is in love with her, and he won’t be moved.”

            “But, Kate…”

            “Jim, if Tessa lives through this she can marry whoever she wants. I don’t care, I just want my baby to live.” She collapsed with a sob into her husband’s side.

 

* * *

 

 

            Scott stayed true to his promise. He was with her every possible moment. And every cough, every wheezing breath, he felt as if it were his own.

            “Scott?” She whispered at one point, eyes barely opening enough to see him.

            “I’m here, Tess. Please, you’ve got to drink something.” He lifted the cup to her lips, and she did try, but he could tell it pained her.

            “It hurts.” She groaned, and then was seized by an intense coughing spell.

            “I know, T, I know, but you’ll get better soon.”

            She opened her eyes and looked at him, tears rolling down the sides of her face, “If I don’t…”

            “Stop.” He interrupted with a fierce voice.

            “If I don’t,” she persisted, “I want you to know that I love you. I’ve always loved you, and there has never been anyone else for me, but you.”

            Scott couldn’t help himself, he climbed onto the bed and laid down next to her, pulling her into his arms in a tight embrace. “No, Tess. You’re going to live. We’re going to get married and have ten children and teach them all how to dance on the ice and climb trees and ride horses. It’s going to be an amazing life.”

            “You promise?” Tessa whispered, looking up at him with her big green eyes.

            “I promise, kiddo. I love you. I’m not letting you go.” He kissed her lightly then, and she fell asleep, feeling safe in his arms.

 

            Scott was awoken later by Mrs. Virtue gently shaking his shoulder. If she was shocked or angry at the sight of him in the bed with Tessa, she didn’t say anything.

            “Scott, why don’t you go for a walk. Stretch your legs. I’ll stay with her for a bit.” She whispered.

            “I’m fine where I am.” Scott protested, worried that she was trying to trick him into leaving.

            “I promise you can come back. I won’t stop you. I just want to sit with my daughter for a little while.”

            Scott could tell she was being honest – could see the dark circles under her red eyes, making it clear that she hadn’t slept in days, and her messy hair. He’d never seen Mrs. Virtue like this. “Alright. Thank you.” He could use a chance to shake out his stiff limbs. After walking around aimlessly for a moment, he decided to step outside for some fresh air, and saw that Chiddy was standing across the courtyard talking to Patch.

            At the sight of him, Chiddy came running over. “Scott, i came as soon as I heard. How’s Tess?” The concern was all over his face, and it was the last straw that broke Scott. He started crying, and Chiddy wrapped his arms around him.

            “She’s so sick, Chiddy. God, what if she dies? I don’t think I’ll survive it.”

            Chiddy held onto him tightly. “She won’t die. Tessa is one of the strongest people I know, and she’s going to get better.”

            Scott clung to his friend, and after a few quiet, tearful minutes he was able to compose himself. “I’ve got to get back. Thank you for coming.”

            “Of course. We all love her, Scott. Please send news of her progress, if you can.”

            “I will. Thanks, Chiddy.”

            Chiddy patted his shoulder and Scott went back inside, wiping his cheeks off with his sleeve and taking a deep, steadying breath. As he neared Tessa’s room he could hear two voices talking quietly.

            “You didn’t send him away, did you?” Tessa was asking – voice barely above a whisper.

            “No, dear. I don’t think wild horses could drag that boy away from you.” Her mother replied, half sarcastically and half relieved that her daughter was awake and talking.

            “I know you tried.” She paused to cough loudly.

            “Don’t speak now.” Her mother shushed.

            “No. I have to say this. I know you and father both tried to break us apart. And I was so mad at you. I wanted to be angry forever, but now… I want you to know that I forgive you for what you did. We’ve won. Scott loves me, and I love him, and you can’t change that.”

            “Oh, Tessa…” Her mother was clearly crying, and Scott pushed the door the rest of the way open and walked inside.

            Tessa’s whole face lit up at the sight of him. “Hi.” She managed to say in between coughing.

            “Hi.” He smiled back at her, hoping she couldn't tell that he'd been crying, and went to sit on the opposite side of the bed from her mother. Taking Tessa's hand, he stroked the back of it lightly with his thumb. She gave him a soft smile, and her eyes drifted closed at the sensation.

            The two of them sat there as Tessa fell back asleep.

            “I spoke to James.” Scott looked at Mrs. Virtue in surprise. “I can’t say that he’s overly happy about it, but we give you our blessing. We won’t stand in your way anymore.”

            “...Thank you.” Scott couldn’t think of anything else to say, but Mrs. Virtue gave him a tight smile with a little nod, and he thought, _maybe dreams come true after all._

 

* * *

 

 

            Scott spent endless hours in that room, watching Tessa struggle in the battle to live. Sometimes when she was more cognizant he read to her, sometimes he just held her hand and prayed.

            And then, one quiet afternoon, her fever worsened. She began hallucinating – thrashing around. The doctor was sent for immediately and greeted by three desperately worried faces standing around her bed.

            He examined her quickly. “Miss Tessa is very bad. If her fever breaks, she may yet live, but… you should prepare yourselves for the worst.”

            Scott went cold all over, his heart dropping to his feet. “No… No… _Scott_.” Tessa moaned deliriously, spurring him to action. He sat back down next to her, taking her hand in his.

            “I’m here, kiddo.”

            “Don’t leave.”

            “Never.” Scott kissed her sweaty forehead, not caring that they had an audience. He looked up at the doctor. “How do I help her?”

            “Try to keep her cool, and get her to drink something if you can - she needs to stay hydrated. I wish I had more answers.”

            “Thank you, doctor.” Mr. Virtue said, leading the doctor out from the room.

            “We have to save her.” Mrs. Virtue spoke with iron in her voice - like she was ready to go to war.

            “Yes.” Scott agreed, looking up at her.

            With a determined nod, she walked over to the wash-pump and began soaking towels with water. “We’ll keep these on her – her forehead, under her arms. Constantly. When they get too warm, we’ll replace them. Pull the blankets off of her. We have to bring the fever down.”

            Scott stood and went to join her, taking some of the wet towels with a nod.

 

            The two of them worked tirelessly side by side through the night, keeping Tessa cool and giving her water whenever she was conscious enough to accept it.

            “Scott, you need a break. Get some fresh air for a moment.” Mrs. Virtue whispered early in the morning. Scott glanced at Tessa’s sleeping face, and then agreed. He walked over to the balcony and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

            He stared out over the Ilderton grounds, watching the sunrise and a flock of birds fluttering in the trees. The morning seemed entirely too serene for what was happening inside the house. He took a few minutes to fill his lungs with the crisp, fresh air, before turning and going back inside.

            The scene that greeted him made his heart stop cold. Mrs. Virtue was crying loudly and hugging Tessa’s body to her, rocking back and forth. Scott fell to his knees, a broken sob wrenching itself out of his chest.

            At the sound, Mrs. Virtue pulled back, and to Scott’s everlasting relief, they _both_ turned to look at him.

            “Scott, she’s alright. Her fever has broken.” Mrs. Virtue said with a sob as Tessa weakly patted her arm.

            Disbelieving, Scott stood and stumbled to the bed. He took Tessa’s face in his hands very gently. “Tess?”

            She smiled and a ray of sunlight burst into the room through the door he had left open. “Good morning.” She whispered, sounding a little like herself again, and Scott let out a half laugh/half sob and pulled her into a tight embrace.

            “I’m going to get your father.” Mrs. Virtue kissed the top of Tessa’s head and then left the room.

            “I can’t believe you’re okay.” Scott couldn’t bring himself to let go of her, keeping her wrapped up in his arms – his face buried into her shoulder.

            “Well, you promised never to leave. It would have been rude of me not to do the same.” She spoke so gently, her hand lightly running through the hair at the base of his neck, and Scott chuckled even as he buried his face in closer.

            “I appreciate that.”

 

            The doctor was calling it a “goddamn miracle.” After weeks of worry and fear pervading the manor, everyone felt like they could breathe again.

            Eventually Tessa was able to sit up and eat on her own, and her color began to return. Scott stayed by her side through it all, reading to her and holding her hand.

            When she was finally well enough to get out of bed she insisted that he take her for a walk around the house.

            “Please, Scott, I need to get out of this bed. I feel like I'm becoming part of the mattress.”

            “You can’t overwork yourself, Tess, you’re still recovering.”

            “A walk around the upstairs hallways isn’t going to kill me.” She attempted to make him laugh, but he gave her a look that said she wasn’t being funny. It was still far too soon for him to joke about it - he probably never would be able to joke about such things again.

            She became serious. “I promise, if I get tired I’ll let you carry me back here and throw me into bed.”

            She was pleased to see his cheeks turn pink - his mind clearly going where she wanted it to. “Alright, fine.” He rolled his eyes and helped her put on her robe. “Eventually, I’m going to cash in on that promise.” He whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine in anticipation.

            They walked slowly down the hall until they reached the window seat that they had sat on so often as children, staring out at visitors and dreaming of their future – it felt like a lifetime ago.

            “Let’s sit here for a moment.” Scott said. Tessa rolled her eyes at his concern, but let him lead her to the seat.

            “You worry too much...” She complained, "We've hardly even begun our walk." 

            “I need to talk to you about something.” Tessa could tell that he was afraid to look at her, and watched as instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “I know you heard about my friend Charlie White in Detroit. We’ve maintained a correspondence, and he wrote last week to tell me that his stable-master quit, and he’d like to offer me the position again.”

            He handed her the letter, and she read over it quietly. “You want to go.” It wasn’t a question, she could tell by the way he was acting that he did.

            “I do, but I won’t go without you.” Scott did turn to look at her then, taking her hand in his, “Marry me, Tessa.” He had such an intense look on his face – a mixture of hope and longing and nervousness.

            “What?” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise - she hadn’t expected him to say that here. Now.

            He reached into his pocket again and pulled out a simple wooden box. “This wasn’t exactly how I meant to ask you. I had a whole speech prepared, but then the last few weeks happened and… I just couldn’t wait anymore. I love you, Tessa Virtue. I’ve loved you ever since I first saw you and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, if you’ll let me.” He opened the lid and Tessa had tears streaming down her face.  “This was my mother’s ring. I hope you like it.”

            Not trusting her voice, Tessa held out her hand and watched as he slipped it on. He pulled her hand up to kiss the newly adorned finger. “Is that a yes?”

            With a sob of joy, Tessa pulled him into her arms. “Oh Scott. Yes yes yes _yes_. A million times yes.”

            A grin broke across his face full of such unfettered happiness that it made her heart soar. He leaned in to kiss her and she returned it wholeheartedly. When he began to break away, she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back in.

            After a few moments they came apart, both gasping a little for air. Breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together, Tessa smiled - quietly repeating his own words back to him, “I love you Scott, no matter what, I love you. Always have, always will. Come what may.”

            He smiled at her, caressing her cheek with his thumb as he gently held the side of her face. Nodding, he whispered back, “Come what may.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 29th Birthday, Tessa!


	33. Chapter 32: Long Time Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter is definitely explicit.

**Chapter 32: Long Time Running**

 

            “I suppose there’s no talking you out of this.” James said after Tessa had told her parents of her engagement.

            “Definitely not.” Tessa stood resolute – or rather, sat, as she was currently back in bed and eating some soup. Scott had returned to his little apartment to freshen up. They decided it was probably better if Tessa was alone when she told her parents the happy news.

            “Well, then I will congratulate you instead. He might not be the… social status… that your mother and I had hoped for, but he loves you, and he’ll take care of you, and there’s not much more that a father could ask for.” He leaned down and kissed the top of Tessa’s head, placing an affectionate hand on her shoulder. 

             "I'm just happy to see you happy, darling." Her mother took her hand and gave it a little squeeze. Tessa smiled at them both - relieved that they were accepting her decision. If it took her nearly dying for her dreams to come true, well then it was worth it. 

 

* * *

 

           

            “How did they take it?” Scott asked later that night when he was again sitting at her side. The bedroom door stood open wide – at the insistence of her mother, who had given them a very scary warning look as she’d left the room earlier.

            “Honestly? Better than I expected.” Tessa shrugged. “They’re just going to have to get used to the idea.”

            “The disappointment, you mean.” Scott chuckled bitterly.

            “No – the idea that their daughter is marrying for love, to a man who is honorable and kind and loyal and true. Traits that matter far more than a bank account or title.” Tessa caressed his cheek and her smile was so genuine that Scott had to return it. The self-doubt still plagued him sometimes – her parents had done a good job of reinforcing the idea that he was inferior over the years – but Tessa was doing wonders in repairing his opinion of himself.

            “So when should we set the date?” He asked, changing the subject as he kissed the hand that still lingered on his cheek.

            “Tomorrow?” Tessa replied, only half joking.

            “I would love that, but we should probably wait until you’ve recovered. I don’t want you passing out on our wedding night from over-exertion.” He winked and she blushed a pretty shade of red.

            “Promises, promises…”

            Scott couldn’t resist rising to that challenge. He glanced toward the doorway before surging forward and pressing a kiss to her lips. Softly biting her bottom lip as he pulled away, tugging it a little. “Promises I intend to keep.” His eyes were dark and his voice had dropped low, sending a bolt of heat right to Tessa’s core.

            “So… tomorrow then, yes?” She joked breathlessly, and Scott laughed.

            “Actually, I was thinking April twenty-seventh.” Scott was looking down, picking at the threads of the blanket, suddenly a little shy.

            Tessa’s eyes lit up in recognition and a smile spread across her face. “The anniversary of our first kiss.”   

            Scott looked up at her, “Yeah. Is that alright?”

            “I think it’s perfect.”  

 

* * *

 

 

            “April twenty-seventh?!” Her mother cried out in disbelief. “Tessa that is less than two months from now. How do you expect me to put together a wedding on such short notice? There’s a guest list to write up, menus to decide, the cake, the  _dress_. It can’t possibly be done.”

            “Scott and I don’t need all that. We want a small wedding.” Tessa dismissed her mother’s concerns, going back to her book -  _The Book of Household Management_. It was dull reading, but she needed to learn if she was to take care of their house once they moved to Canton. Tessa knew that it was going to be a big adjustment – more so for her than for Scott – and she was trying to prepare herself.  _I should probably learn to cook_ … she thought idly.

            “Tessa, darling,” Her mother interrupted her thoughts, the exasperation clear in her voice, “You are my only child. Please don’t deprive me of the wedding I always dreamed of.”

            With a heaving sigh, Tessa looked up, “A small ceremony with only the people Scott and I want to invite, but you can decide all the details of the reception. Is that fair?”

            Kate pursed her lips, “I suppose we can compromise.”

            Tessa laughed affectionately and leaned over to kiss her mother’s cheek, “It is  _my_  wedding after all.” She set the book down on the table and stood up.

            “Where are you going?”

            “I’m going to go ask Marie if she’ll teach me how to cook.”

            Her mother looked so surprised it was almost comical. “Whatever for?”

            Tessa chuckled and shook her head, “Because Scott and I will probably want to eat every once in a while, and he can’t be expected to do  _all_  the cooking.”

            “I keep forgetting how different your life will be.” Her mother sighed regretfully.

            “Good different.” Tessa smiled and then left the room – walking down the drive to Patch and Marie’s house.

           

            She knocked on the door of the cottage, hoping she wasn’t interrupting anything. It wasn’t long before she heard footsteps and the door opened.

            “Tessa! What a pleasant surprise. Come in, come in.” Marie stepped aside, holding the door for her as she entered.

            “Good afternoon Marie, I hope I’m not imposing.” She could hear the boys playing in the other room, and the house smelled like fresh bread. It all seemed very cozy and inviting. Tessa hoped her own home would feel like this.

            “Not at all. To what do I owe this visit?” Marie wiped her hands on her apron, leading Tessa into the living room where the boys were.

            “I was wondering… if it isn’t too much bother, would you be willing to teach me how to cook?”

            Marie smiled kindly at her. “I would be happy to. When would you like to start?”

            “Is now too soon? I’m afraid I have a lot to learn.” Tessa felt embarrassed. Marie was so good at all of this, and Tessa – who had been raised to make small talk with the gentry and dance elegantly – knew nothing of the practicalities of keeping a home.

            “Right now is perfect. I was just about to start another loaf, you can help with that. Why don’t you make some tea while I get the finished bread out of the oven?”

            Tessa blushed, and followed Marie into the kitchen. How hard could making tea be? She was smart, she could figure it out. She walked over to the stove and retrieved the kettle, taking it over to the pump. She started working it and water sprayed everywhere. With a shriek she jumped back, the front of her dress soaked.

            Marie laughed, “Oh dear. Perhaps we’d better start with that instead.”

 

            After that, Tessa made time to visit Marie at least every other day. Her progress was slow, but she was nothing if not stubborn and determined, and she was learning.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Here, try this.” Tessa held out the oatmeal cookie she had made earlier with Marie, and Scott looked at it apprehensively. At least it didn’t seem as burnt as the bread she had brought him a few days ago. “I promise Marie sampled them first.” Tessa rolled her eyes at his behavior.

            He relaxed at her assurances. “Thank you.” He was relieved to find that it actually tasted pretty good.            

            Tessa leaned against the wall near the back of the stables where Scott was working. “I received a letter today.” She announced while he ate, “It’s from Gabriella Papadakis.”

            Scott looked confused for a second. “That girl who hated you? What does she say?”

            Tessa pulled the letter out from her pocket, _“Dear Miss Virtue,”_ She huffed out a small laugh, _“I am writing to inform you that last Thursday I married Monsieur Guillaume Cizeron. It was a lavish ceremony, worthy of our status and love, attended by all of the prominent families in Paris. I hope you will wish us happiness._ _Mrs. Pojé attended the wedding, of course, (looking quite rotund in her condition) and informed me of your recent illness. I do hope that it has not left you too disfigured...”_

            Tessa laughed in disbelief, looking up at Scott, “Do you think she even knows what pneumonia is?”

            Scott laughed too, shaking his head, “Sounds like they deserve each other.” He walked over to where she was leaning on the wall and kissed her, tugging on her bottom lip a bit before gliding his mouth along her jawline.

            Tessa let the letter fall to the floor – uncaring where it landed or what else was written inside it.

            “Scott, I have to go back to the house.” She protested halfheartedly as he kissed her neck, and tilted her head further to the side for him.

            He placed a hand on either side of her, caging her in, “Why? Wouldn’t you rather stay here with me?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully and then leaned forward to kiss her again – tongue stroking against hers. She grabbed his hair and tugged a little, and he groaned as she broke the kiss.

           “My mother has more wedding plans to discuss.”

            “ _More!?”_ Scott asked, dismayed. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and grumbled, “Is it too late to elope?”

            Tessa ran her hands soothingly up and down his back. “I’m their only child. They want to celebrate my wedding.”

            “Well it’s starting to interfere with  _my_  celebrations.” He muttered into her shoulder, thrusting his hips lightly against hers to emphasize his point.

            “I promise, after the reception we can  _celebrate_  as much as you want to.”

             He looked up at her salaciously, “I’m counting on it.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “Oh, Tessa.” Her mother brought her hands together in front of her mouth as she stepped back from where Tessa was standing in the middle of her bedroom. “You look so beautiful.”

            Tessa turned to face the mirror and looked at herself in her newly completed wedding dress. It was made of intricately detailed white lace and silk, with an empire waist and elbow length sleeves. She felt her own eyes grow wet. “It’s perfect.” She whispered, mostly to herself.

            “Scott isn’t going to be able to take his eyes off of you.”

             "Thank you, mother.” Tessa turned to face her and took her hands in her own. “I know Scott wasn’t your first choice for me, but thank you for supporting me in this decision now. It means so much to me to have you and father at my wedding.”

            “Oh Tessa, that’s all water under the bridge. We both can see how happy Scott makes you, and I’ve never seen someone so dedicated to another person the way he was when you were sick. Your father and I will be quite proud to call him our son-in-law.”

             Tessa smiled and hugged her mother tightly. “I love you, mama.”

            “I love you too, darling.”

 

* * *

 

 

            April twenty-seventh finally arrived, beautiful and sunny and warm – much to the delight of Tessa, who saw it as a good omen. Everyone she loved would be there today supporting her, except for Kaitlyn and Andrew, who were busy with their brand new baby boy, little William John Poje. Kaitlyn had sent her a letter of apology and congratulations, with an accompanying picture of her son. 

            Her Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Emile had journeyed all the way from Paris. Neither of them had acted surprised at all that Tessa was marrying Scott, and greeted him only with kindness and warm words welcoming him into the family. If Tessa didn’t know better, she would say that Beatrice had seen this coming all along.

 

             That morning, her mother helped her get dressed – with more than a few tears being shed between them - and Susan did her hair. Before she knew it, Tessa was being swept off to the church in the carriage with her parents.

 

             As she held her father’s arm and walked down the aisle, time seemed to speed up and slow down all at once. She wanted to take in the moment, but was having a hard time stopping her feet from running the rest of the way to Scott. His back was to her, as was custom, but even from behind she thought he looked incredibly handsome in his suit. When she finally reached him and he turned so that her father could place her hand in his, she was gratified by the expression on his face.

             He was looking at her like she was his whole world, and he couldn’t resist mouthing the word “Beautiful.” She grinned at him, and everything narrowed to just them and the vicar.

            “Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today…” The vicar began, but Tessa wasn’t really listening. She was too caught up in Scott, the tears in her eyes coming unbidden. His eyes were teary too, and his grip on her hands tightened.

            “Do you, Scott Patrick Moir, take Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue as your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

            “I do.” Scott was grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt – unable to look away from Tessa’s face for even a second.

             “And do you, Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue, take Scott Patrick Moir as your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?”

            “I do.” Tessa had tears streaming down her face now and she was practically radiating happiness.

            “Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

            Scott’s arms were around her as soon as the vicar had finished speaking. His mouth came down on hers in a passionate kiss that she couldn’t help but return. She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifted her slightly off the ground.

            When they broke apart and turned toward the congregation, she could tell from the looks on her parent’s faces that they had probably scandalized everyone in attendance, but she didn’t care.

            With a little half cry/half laugh she smiled up at Scott and he took her hand, pulling it up to his mouth to kiss the ring that would stay on her finger forevermore, and led her back down the aisle.

 

 

            They weren’t required to stay at the reception for very long - their train was leaving in a few hours to head to their new home in Canton. They would only travel halfway today, spending the night in Chatham-Kent before continuing on the next morning.

            Tessa didn’t mind spending a few hours with her mother’s friends, if it made her parent’s happy. Scott, on the other hand, was more uncomfortable and stayed close by her side, usually with one hand on her back or holding her hand, keeping Tessa on edge and a little distracted the whole time. He was relieved when they spotted familiar faces. 

            “Congratulations to you both. We are so happy for you.” Patch and Marie said, giving them both warm hugs.

            “I can’t believe you two kids finally worked it out.” Chiddy added, Liz by his side.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was always smooth sailing.” Scott joked, pretending to fix his tie. Tessa couldn’t resist digging her elbow into his side for that comment.

            “Sure, Scott. Selective memory.” Chiddy smirked and they all laughed. It had been a long journey, but they had made it in the end. With a happy smile, Tessa squeezed Scott’s hand a little tighter.  

           

            As they walked away from their friends Tessa leaned in to whisper, “Do you think we can leave yet?”

            “Leave? No, not yet.” Tessa was surprised to hear him say this, expecting him to be as eager to go as she was.

            “Well why not?” She pouted. She’d said hello to everyone, met her parent’s obligations, and now she wanted to be alone with her husband.  _Husband_  – even the word sent her stomach fluttering.

            “Because, kiddo, I haven’t danced with my wife yet, and I fully intend to do so.” Her heart skipped a beat. That was the first time he’d called her his wife, and it did funny things to her insides. She wanted to jump for joy while simultaneously kissing him madly – frustrated that she could do neither of those things. He turned and held out his hand to her and she realized he had led them to the area on the lawn in front of the small orchestra.

            “You mean we finally get to show off our superior skills?” Tessa teased, placing her hand in his.

            “We’re gonna knock ‘em off their feet.” Scott winked, leading her into the middle of the small group of dancers and pulling her into the correct starting position. She laughed at the serious expression on his face, but played along.

            The band struck up a waltz and they fell into dancing as naturally as they ever had before. Spinning around and stepping together perfectly – moving as one, gliding across the dancefloor.

            “I suppose we should have seen this coming.” James whispered to his wife from where they were watching Tessa dancing – carefree and grinning uncontrollably.

            “I think you’re right. Madame Marina did say she’d never seen two children who danced together so well. It should have been a sign.” Kate agreed.

            With a small sigh, James said, “She looks very happy.”

            Eyes a little teary, Kate agreed, “They both do.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “Thank God we have a private car on this train.” Scott fell into the seat next to her. They had finally been able to break free – trying to act calm as they made their farewells. Although Chiddy’s knowing look told them they weren’t being as successful in hiding their eagerness as they thought they were.

            “Why? You know it’s not  _that_  long of a journey, right?” Tessa smirked at him, folding her arms and arching an eyebrow.

            “Plenty of time to get up to trouble, I hope.” He leaned in and kissed her. She pretended to resist, but when he persisted she gave in with a laugh. Her hands immediately went to his hair, which he had trimmed for the wedding. He looked very handsome, but Tessa was sad that it wasn’t quite as tuggable like this. Scott quickly had her pressed against the corner between the seat and the window, gliding his lips across her jaw and pressing kisses along her throat.

            “Your collar is getting in my way.” He grumbled, tugging at the high neck with his finger.

            Tessa laughed a little breathlessly, “I’m not undressing on the  _train_.”

            Scott groaned and sat back. “How much longer until we arrive?”          

            “Not too long. Try to sit back and enjoy the view.” Tessa patted his knee sympathetically.

            “I am enjoying it. I just wish I could enjoy  _more_ of it.” He looked at her, his eyes moving slowly down and back up, his mouth curved into a wicked grin.

            “Scott Moir! Behave yourself!” Tessa protested, even as she felt her skin flush at the blatant desire in his gaze.

            “Are you sure that’s what you want? Because I’ll happily misbehave, if you prefer.” His placed his hand on her knee, sliding it up her leg slowly – her skirt bunching up and sliding higher as he did so. Tessa fought the desire to widen her legs for him.

            “I want…” She had to stop when he placed a kiss under her ear, his hand squeezing her thigh for a moment, before he relaxed and traced little patterns on the inside of her leg.

            “What do you want, Tess?” He pulled back to look at her, his mouth so close to hers and his eyes impossibly dark.

            “I want to do this properly. In a bed. At the hotel.” She didn’t sound convincing, even to herself, but Scott leaned back anyway. His hand returning to his own lap.

            “As you wish.” He groaned, adjusting himself a little in his seat. Tessa could see that he was hard, his erection tenting his pants, but she quickly averted her gaze. She was determined to do things right on their wedding day.

 

             The train pulled into the station not a moment too soon, and Scott immediately stood and grabbed their bags from the luggage racks – most of their luggage had been sent on ahead of them, so they only had the two small suitcases.

            “Lead the way, kiddo.” Scott grinned and followed her onto the platform.

 

            “Well, what should we do first? Dinner? An evening stroll down the boulevard?” Tessa asked as they walked into their hotel room. Scott closed the door behind them and set their luggage down at the foot of the large four-poster bed.

            “Are you serious?” Scott laughed, already divesting himself of his suitcoat and vest. He’d never been comfortable in fancy clothes, used to spending most of his life in a simple shirt and pants, and was eager to get out of them – for more reasons than one.

            Tessa turned to look at him, cheeks a little pink, as she confessed, “I’m a little nervous.”

            Scott stopped undoing the buttons at his wrists and looked at her. “I am too. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

            “No!” She stepped closer to him, “I mean, I  _do_  want to. It’s just strange knowing that that’s what we’re  _supposed_  to be doing now, instead of sneaking up to your apartment above the stables.”

            “Ah, the thrill is gone without the necessary sneaking around.” Scott nodded and gestured to the window, “Should I go outside and climb up?” He was teasing her, pleased when she rolled her eyes and relaxed – the tension leaving her body.

            “I’m going to take these traveling clothes off now. As you said, the high neck is  _inconvenient_.” She stated, turning around.

            Scott probably should have been doing something useful, but all he could do was watch her. He’d never seen her undress before, and the intimacy of it was astounding. He felt privileged that she let him witness it. The way her hands deftly undid the buttons - removing her jacket, then shirt, then skirt. Left in nothing but her shift and corset and stockings, she reached up to take the pins out of her hair.

            “Can I?” Scott asked, voice thick, and she turned to him and nodded.

            He pulled the pins out slowly, one by one, watching as her dark hair fell into long waves down her back. Once it was all down, he swept it to the side so that he could kiss the skin of her shoulder. It really was so much better without the lace in the way. When he looked up, he saw that they were standing across from a floor-length mirror and Tessa was watching him with hooded eyes.

            He moved his hands to the strings of her corset. “Can I take this off?”

            Tessa nodded at him in the mirror, and he stepped back to focus on the task at hand. It was ridiculously complicated and incredibly frustrating. “Why do you wear this?” He complained, pulling a little too hard at the strings.

            “It’s expected of a lady.” Tessa reminded him, taking in a deeper breath as the corset loosened.

            “Well feel free to stop now. It gets in my way, and we’ve decided clothes that get in my way have to go.”

            She laughed and he finally was able to pull the corset away from her body and drop it to the floor. 

            “And this?” He whispered, reaching for the hem of her shift. She was still watching him in the mirror, increasing the eroticism of the moment to almost more than he could stand. Just the sight of his hands holding the bottom of her shift was sending his heart racing. In the soft light of the evening, the garment was almost transparent and Scott could see the faint outline of her nipples.

            “It doesn’t seem fair. You’ve still got most of your clothes on.” She whispered back, breathing faster than normal.

            “I promise you can change that in a second, I just want to look at you first.”

            Tessa tilted her head back for a kiss, which he happily obliged her with, before she nodded at him to proceed.

            He turned back to looking in the mirror, watching himself raise the hem of her skirt higher, higher, higher – revealing her inch by inch until finally she was gloriously naked in front of him. Making eye contact with her in the mirror, he placed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck, then ran his lips across her collarbone. Her eyes closed, overwhelmed by the sight, and Scott ran his hand up the length of her arm until he could cup her shoulder, his other hand coming around to rest on her stomach. Scott loved the way it felt, having the length of her body pressed against the front of his. He placed another kiss on the shoulder he now held, and Tessa brought her hand up to lace their fingers together, turning her head to face him. He kissed her again, gently stroking his tongue alongside hers, and when her hand dropped back down he began moving both of his own slowly across her stomach, lightly stroking back and forth, before gliding them up to cup her breasts – running his thumbs along her pebbled nipples. Her head fall back on his shoulder with a loud moan, and the sight of them like this nearly had Scott coming in his pants.

             Unable to handle watching her like that any longer, he slowly kissed his way down her back, savoring how soft her skin was under his lips, until he was kneeling behind her. He reached up and rolled each of her stockings down her legs and helped her step out of them, kissing her softly on the small of her back before standing up again - running his hand along the curve of her spine as he did.

            Her eyes were closed in pleasure, but she quickly opened them to meet his gaze in the mirror – her pupils blown wide. She spun around. “Okay, your turn.” She sounded desperate, and it went strait to Scott’s groin.

            She worked much faster than he had. Deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt and pulling it off before grabbing at his undershirt and pulling that up and off as well. She was a woman on a mission and Scott wasn’t about to stop her.

            She slowed down briefly to run her hands along his chest, carefully tracing each ridge and dip, circling his nipples, before leaning in to kiss his sternum in a move so tender it took his breath away.

            “Now your pants, please.” She stepped back, waiting.

            Scott laughed in surprise, “You don’t want to do that part?”

            “I like watching you do it.” She grinned and it shot another bolt of arousal through him. He didn’t waste a second, moving immediately to unbutton his pants and let them drop, taking his underwear with them. Finally both naked, Scott dived back in and kissed her, holding her face in his hands as he poured as much passion into the kiss that he could.

            “I love you, Tess.” He whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.

            “I love you, too. Now, take me to bed, Mr. Moir.”

            “It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Moir.”

           

 

            A few hours later, after night had set in and the room had gone dark, Scott began to stir.

            “What are you staring at?” He muttered, eyes still closed, half-asleep. In the dark of the room Tessa could just barely make out his features in the moonlight. He had fallen asleep quickly after their coupling, but she had lied awake – restless, but in a good way. Basking in the events of the day and the thrill of having the man she loved lying naked next to her.

            “Can we do it again?” She whispered hopefully.

            His eyes did open then. “Right now?” He asked in surprise, “Aren’t you tired?”

            “What can I say?” She gave him a little shrug, “I just really like doing it with my partner.” She smirked at him, and he wasted no time in rolling over on top of her.

            “I think you meant your husband.” He bent his head down, kissing her passionately.

            When he pulled back she agreed happily, “Yes. My husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for coming on this journey with me. Your kudos, and comments have made this past month like something out of a dream. I didn't really expect anyone to read my story, let alone love it. I have been just blown away by the response. If I do decide to write a sequel, it will be because of your support and encouragement. 
> 
> Thank you for giving my story a chance. And thank you, Scott and Tessa, for being so damn inspirational. ;)


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